1st typescript, January 1924-early 1927, I.4§1A draft level 3

MS British Library 47472 155-160 Draft details

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|3|aAs the lion in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars of his Nilea| It may be that the besieged |abethought bedreamta| him still |aand solelya| of |athat lililith those lililithsa| undeveiled, which had for—- him|a, gone for aye,a| and knew not the watchful treachers at his wake, and |athere theirsa| to stay. It may be that he reglimmed? presaw? the fields of wheat and fields of wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed & shone.3| It may be that with his deepseeing insight (had not wishing often been but good time wasted) |3petrified within his patriarchal shamanah|a, |bbroadstone 'bove city broadsteyne 'bove citieb|,a|3| |3H.C.E. he, conscious blank3| prayed |3o as he sat on anxious seat3| all through that three and a half hour's agony |3in of3| silence |3in profundo malorum3| with unfeigned charity that his wordwounder|3, a |atype born engelsa| who would go on his belly anywhere for milk, music or married women,3| might|3, mercy to providential benevolence's astuteness,3| unfold into the first of a distinguished dynasty |3of his posteriors3|, his most besetting of ideas |3(after his 12 predominant passions)3| being the formation, as in more favoured climes, of a truly criminal stratum, thereby at last eliminating |3from the oppidum3| much general delinquency from all classes and masses with directly derivative decasualisation.

|3Let us leave theories there & return to things here. Now hear.3| The coffin|3, |afaced feetsa| to the east,3| was to turn in handy later |3materially effecting the cause3|. |3And3| This is the |3how of that howe3|. |3On the occasion of his liberal unionists' jubilee3| A number of |3conservative3| public bodies, before voting themselves by a fit and proper resolution once for all out of |3plotty3| existence, made him |3(while his body still existed)3| a present of a |3watery3| grave in |3Moyelta |aof the best lough Neagh pattern then as much in demand as the isle of Man is nowa| in3| a fair state of repair |3enriched by ancient woods and old knolls and a chatty troutbeck, chatty to any |aWill or Walta| who would |aangle onglea| her |aas Izaak did with the tickle of his rod and watch her waters. |b(May their quilt lay light now on his somnolent form |cWho |dthere now for youd| lies his last, |dby the wrath of God,d|c| like |cthe greatc| Hun in the bed of his |ctruebluec| Donawhu!)b|a|3| |3wherein mid the anfractuosities of which3| the remains of an epileptic were to have been laid to rest as soon as he was regarded as dead but which nobody living had ever been man enough to dig still less occupy. This wastohavebeen |3grave underground heaven|a, first in the west,a|3| he openly blasted |3to sternboard3| by means of a |3landmine hydromine system the Sowan & Beltiny3| exploded from a bombingpost |3up ahoy3| of |3fourteen hundred eleven hundred and thirtytwo3| feet |3circiter3| in his aerial
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torpedo|3, Auton Dynamon,3| contacted with the expectant minefield by tins of improved ammonia lashed to her |3sides |ashieldplateda| gunwale3| and fused into tripup |3wires cables |aslipping through tholes &a|3| playing down |3from the conning tower3| into the ground battery fuseboxes|3, as different as clocks and keys since nobody appeared to have the right time,3| and afterwards carefully lined the |3ferroconcrete3| result |3(a perfect fit, as it turned out)3| with |3rotproof3| bricks and mortar, |3|afasted fasseda| to fossed,3| so encouraging other useful public bodies |3such as the Guild of merchants of the Staple3| to present |3unto3| him over and above that |3with3| a stone slab |3with the usual address of valediction: We have done with you, Mr Herewhipit3|. |3Skidoo!3| |3Show3| Coffins, windingsheets, cinerary urns |3liealoud brasses, snuffchests, poteentubbs3| and for that matter any kind of funeral bric |3à to3| brac would naturally follow in the ordinary course enabling |3him that roundtheworlder3| to live |3safeathomely3| all the days of his life of opulence, |3whaling away the whole of the while, |xfrom grosskopp to megapod)x|3| embalmed, rich in death anticipated.

The other spring offensive |3on the heights of Abraham3| may have come about all quite by accident. |3Unso had not been three monads in his |aweta| grave when faction, dreyfooted as ever, began to ramp, ramp, ramp blank3| From both |3Celtiberian3| camps (|3granted at the outset granting at the onset3| for the sake of argument that men on both sides|3, bluemen and pillfaced, moors3| during the ferment|3, with the pope or on the pope,3| had|3, moors or letts,3| grand ideas|3, granted3|) all conditions were drawn |3into the conflict tooward their Bellona's Black Bottom |a(once w Woolwhite's Waltz — ohiboh! how becrimed, becursekissed & bedumbtoit!)a|3|, some for lack of proper feeding |3in youth3|, others already caught in the act of |3carving slicing out3| honourable careers for |3self and3| family |3& carvers |ain conjunctiona|3|, and, if emaciated enough, the person garotted may have suggested |3incarnate whiggery to whomever took the ham of the other low cirque waggery3|, nay, even the |3grand first3| old |3whig |awhigger |bwagger wuggerb|a|3| himself in the flesh |3incarnadined3| when falsesighted by the |3wouldbe burglar ifsuchhewas bully on the hill3|, a tory of the tories, for there circulated |3fairly freely freely fairly among |athe hisa| opposition3| the feeling that in so hibernating |3Earwicker Massa Eewicka3|, who previous to that semidetached life had been known |3of barmicidal days|a, cook said, between soup & savoury,a|3| to eat his own length in rainbow trout, |3as no man of woman born,3| was, like the salmon of his ladderleap, |3all this time of totality3| secretly feeding on his own misplaced fat.

|3Ladies |athose times did not disdain did not disdain those timesa| |a|bof the 1st cityb| when a frond was a friend |bin need idneedb|a| to carry their soil to the erdball. |a|bVenuses were |cguffawably cheap gigglibly temptatrixc|, adonises |cvulcanoes vulcansc| guffawably eruptious and the whole wives world frockful of fickles.b| |bWhen Fact,b| any human inyan you liked |bany erenoon or afterb| would take her godkin |boutb|, or an even pair of |bhem himb|, and prettily pray with him, or with hem even, |beveryhe to her tasteb| long for luck, tapette and tape |bbetter petterb| and take pettest of all, but the deer |bknows knowedb| who she'd marry.a|3|

Kate Strong, a widow, did all the scavenging from good King |3Charles' golden days Hamlaugh's gulden doyne3| onwards but her lean besom cleaned but sparingly and her bare statement reads that, there being no macadamised sidewalks |3in on3| those old |3R.I.C. days |anecropolitan nekropolitana| nights3| barring a |3footpath footbatter |abordered with speedwell, white clover and sorrel a wood knows,a|3| which left off where the plaintiff was struck, she left, as scavengers who will be scavengers will, a filthdump near the dogpond in Phoenix park |3(at her time called Finewell's Keepsacre |abut later |btautaubaptised tautaubaptossedb| Pat's Purgea|)3| all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns, elbowdints, kneecaves, breechbowls |3a.s.o.3| were all successively traced of a very |3involved involving3| description. |3|aShe pulls a glowing |bwhat thou if homelike,b| picture for us of old dumplin |bas she nosed itb| with droppings of biddies, dead pushies, rotten witchawubbles |band festering rubbage —b|, if not worse, sending germs |bgleefully inb| through the smithereen panes.a| What safer place |athan such castramenta| to hide a book from Thursmen Thursmen's |aeyes |bbrandyhands brandihandsb|a| or a loveletter from |alost{sup>{small>|b, lostfully hers,b| that would be lusta| on Ma than there where blank ended and race began. |aand by four hands of forethought the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last cradle of hume sweet hume. Give over it. And no more of it. So pass the pick for Child sake. O men! |bFor hear has |cthe highest allhighest hasc| spoken: and |cthe his nuptialc| eagles have sharpened their beaks of prey: and |call everyc| murphyl man, pome by pome, falls back into |cthe tureen |dhis thisd| terrinec|: as it was let it be. Says he.b| |bIt is as though the |cstreamlettes ofc| obluvial waters of our noarchic memory withdrew|c, windingly obedient,c| at her |crudec| word: lave that bloody stone |cbe as it is,c| go around be the bach of the minister's, What are you doing you dirty minx & |cthat hisc| big |ctree treeblockc| way in your path, take that barrel back to where you got it, MacShane's, & you go the way your old one went, blankb|a|3| |3And3| It was |3right hard by the howe goes3| there on this |3resurfaced spot desoluted spot, since rupestric then, that now is resurfaced,3| in the saddle
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of |3the Brennan's3| pass|3,3| miles from true civilisation|3, where livland |amears |byontideb| meareda| with the wilde, and saltlea with flood,3| plainly|3,3| that the |3attacker attackler3|, though under medium, with truly native pluck |3tackled engaged3| him whom|3, for plunder sake,3| he mistook |3in the heavy rain3| to be somebody else to whom he bore some facial resemblance, making use of sacrilegious language to the effect that he would |3have his life cano cannonise the b—y b—r's life out of him3| and lay him out |3contritely3| as soon as |3he the b—r3| had his |3night3| prayers said at the same time catching |3hold |aholt holsta|3| of |3a long an oblong3| bar he had and with which he usually broke |3furniture furnitures3| he rose the stick at him. They struggled for some considerable time |3round the booksafe|a, fighting like purple top and |btipperary tipperuhryb| swede,a|3| and in the course of the tussle the |3masked taller3| man said to the other |3who was carrying the |awarm worma|3|: Let me go, |3Pat |aPateen Paudheena|3|, I hardly knew you. Later on the same |3man mask3| |3(or a different |aaspect |band youngerb| hama| of the same |aman hima|)3| asked with |3an ugly grin a very eggly chew-chin-grin |aas if he forgot somethinga|3|: Was six |3pounds victorios3| fifteen |3pigeon3| in round numbers |3taken off takee offa3| you, |3tell us tell he me3|, |3Strongfella,3| by |3anyone three or pickypocky ten to3| four months |3ago |abehindside behindasidea|3|? There was some further severe |3mauling tries to convert for the best part of an hour3| and |3now3| a wooden affair in the shape of a |3Wembley Webley3| fell from the intruder who thereupon became friendly and wanted to know, laying all joking |3and knobkerries3| aside, if his chance companion, who |3still had the fender stuck still to the invention of his strongbox3|, happened to have the |3loose loots3| change of a ten pound |3note crickler3| about him at the moment |3as addling that3|, |3if hap3| so, he would pay the six |3pounds vics3| odd back|3, do you see?,3| out of that for what was taken on |3him the man of samples|a, |xfor conscience money,x| do you follow me?,a|3| on last |3July Yuny or Yuly3|. To this the other|3, who had mummed and mauled up to that, rather amusedly3| replied: |3Woowoo3| Would you be greatly surprised|3, Hill,3| to learn that as it so happens I honestly have not such a thing as the |3loose change |aloots change loo as the least chancea|3| of a tenpound |3|anote cracklera|3| anywhere about me at the present |3moment mohomoment3| but I believe I can see my way |3as you suggest3| to advance you something like four and sevenpence between hopping and |3trotting tropping3| which you might just as well have to buy |3whisky J.J. and S with3|. At the |3mention of whisky first wind of gaygay and whiskwigs3| the |3gunman became gunman's wick ears pricked up|a, strike him pink,a|3| strangely calm and |3|aforthwith forthrighta|3| said he would go good to him some day yet and remarking, |3in languidoily,3| apparently much more highly pleased than tongue could tell |3with this chanceº of a lifetime3| |3|aat the by thisa| foretaste of redbank pearlmothers & the boy |ato wash down which he would feed to himself in the Red Cow at Tallaght and then in the Good Woman at Ringsend and after her in Conway's |bTavern Innb| at Blackrock and, first to fall, cursed be all, |bwhere appetite wd keenest beb| at Adam & Eve's Taverna|3|: You stunning little Southdowner! |3|aWho the hellelse!a| I'd know you anywhere!, |aDeclaney, |bbe your blanche patch,b|a| let me |atrucefullya| tell you!3| Goalball I've struck this day of days, by golly! |3You My hat, you3| have some bully German grit, |3Southdowner Sundowner3|!: |3he went With that the queer mixture exchanged the |akiss of peace pax in an embrace |bor poghue paxyb| as practised between brothers of the same breast, hillelulia, killelulia,a| and levanted3| off |3over the assback3| with the four and seven |3in danegeld3| and his |3trusty humoral3| hurlbat or other uncertain weapon of lignum vitae, picked up, to keep some |3business crowplucking3| appointment while
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|3the man this poor delany whom he3| left |3behind |abehind hima|3| along with the fender |3behind3|, who bore up wonderfully under all of it with a |3whole3| number of plumsized |3bruises contusiums |aplus |ba alasalahb| bruised coccyxa|3| all over him, reported the occurrence |3the best way he could, giving the military salute,3| in justifiable hope that some lotion or a fomentation of poppyheads would be exhibited to the parts at the nearest watch house in Vicar street, his face all covered with nonfatal mammalian blood as proof positive of the seriousness of his character and that he was bleeding from the nose, mouth and two ears while some of his hair had been pulled off his head |3by Colt3| though otherwise his allround health appeared to be middling enough |3as it proved most fortunate3| that not one of the two hundred and six bones in his |3body corso3| was a whit the worse for the |3wear whacking3|.

Now |3leaving clashing ash, brawn and muscle and brassmade |aagainst to ousta| earthenborn,3| coming on gradually to the question of unlawfully obtaining a pierced |3fender paraflamme3| and fireguard there crops up the far more salient point of the political leanings of |3a person our forebear |xof the bottlefiendx|3| who, when mistakenly ambushed, and as near as made no matter to being revolvered offhand when the man with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, |3was solely he was consistently3| exercising one of the most primary liberties of the |3pacific3| subject |3without intent to annoy either3| by |3walking circulating3| along one of our |3public thoroughfares unprohibited thrufahrts|a|b, to walk, Wellington Park Road, |cwith the curb onder his |doxter auxterd|,c|b| or in the act of taking place upon a public a seat|b, |ca bothc| highly permissible town |cpursuit pursuitsc|, |cacta legitima plebeia,c|b|a|3| in the broadest of |3daylight dayshine|a, |brightb| jollywell pleased at having other people's weathera|3|.

|3But to return to the Atlantic3| As if that were not to be enough for anybody but little headway, if any, was made in solving this wasnottobe crime conundrum when a |3countryman child of Maam3|, Festy King, who gave an address in |3Joyce's country old plamas|a, beyond Mayo of the Saxons,a|3| in the heart of a |3wellfamed foulfamed3| poteen district, was subsequently brought up |3on the calends of Mars3| on an improperly framed indictment of both the counts. When the prisoner, soaked in methylated, appeared in dry dock wearing a |3fight shirt |aa souwestera| and3| policeman's |3corkscrew3| trousers|3, all out of the true3| as he had purposely torn up all his |3cymtrymanx3| clothes in the cell, |3alleging deposing |afor his exution |bin the royal Irish vocabularyb|a|3| that |3they the whole suet3| had fallen off him unaccountably |3while he was attempting to stick fire to himsell3|, It was attempted by the crown to show that King|3, impersonating a climbing boy,3| rubbed |3some dirt |asome filth any luvial muda|3| |3claneturf clanetourf3| on his face as the best means of
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disguising himself and was |3at to3| the fair|3, please the Rainmaker,3| |3in Mudford3| of a |3Monday Thoorsday3| |3under an assumed name of Tykingfest picked out of the |atelafun tellafuna| book3| |3The gathering, convened to enab help the Irish muck to look his |abrothera| Dane in the face, was of a scattery kind,3| attended|3, despite the deluge,3| by large numbers |3of the sportinclined3| |3allegedly3| with a pig |3(unlicensed)3| |3and a hyacinth3| when the animal ate some of the doorpost, King |3later3| selling |3it the gentleman ratepayer3| because she ate a whole lot of the woodwork of her sty|3, Qui sta Troia,3| in order to pay off six |3pounds doubloons3| fifteen arrears of |3the villain's his |athe villain's not the rambler'sa|3| rent. Remarkable evidence was given |3anon3| by an eye, ear, nose and throat witness |3W- P- |adescribed in the calendar as a word painter,a|3| who |3smiled and3| stated |3to his eliciter3| that he was pleased to remember the |3fifth filth3| of November which was going to |3go down decemb3| in the |3annals ephemerides3| of profane history and that one thing which |3wd3| particularly struck a person of |3his such3| sorely trained observational powers |3as Sam, him & Moffafty3| |3the striking thing about it3| was that he |3saw or heard Pat was patrified to see, hear |atastea| & smell |a|bat asb| his time of nighta|3| |3on Straggle Street3| |3how Hyacinth3| O'Donnallº |3B.A., a mixer,3| with part of a dungfork |3|aon the fair greena| sought to3| |3beat sack, |asocka| stab3| and murder singlehanded another two of the Kings, |3Simon D. Gush MacGale3| and Roaring |3Peter O'Brien3|, |3both of no address, & in noncommunicables,3| between whom bad blood existed on the head of trespass |3of fowl on the bull |aor because they could not say meace, meathea|3|. |3The litigants, |alocala| kingsmen & donalds, were egged on by supporters in the shape of bitterwomen waving scarlet petties and shouting3| There were cries |3from the thicksets3| in court |3and on the bohernabreena |afrom the MacDublinsa|3| of: Produce |3O'Donnell |aO'Donunread O'Donnera|3|!: |3Mind Messer, the |aman bana| from Banagher, Mick, sir!3| but it oozed out in crossexamination |3of the casehardened testies3| that when and where |3that knife of knives3| the |33 partied3| ambush was laid|3, roughly speaking |a|baround halftime twixt dusk & dawnb|, near the only |btree abfalltreeb| in the land,a|3| there was not as much light |3from the widowed moon3| as would dim a child's altar |3|xWhether he was sure of his |aname names |bin this King |c& countrymanc| businessb|a|? That he was particularly so. It was O'Somebody? Quite. |aHow did he arrive at the B.A. That it was |bfair witnessb| like his poll.a| A crossgrained person with odd ears eyes|a, projecting ears,a| & a twitcherous mouth? He would be. |aNot unintoxicated? |bAs drunk Drunkb| as a fishup.a| |aThe grazing right expired with the expiry of the goat's sire, if they were not mistaken? That he He could not exactly say but his mother had the receipt for the price of the coffin & she could tell them.a| |aHow it struck him? Like the crack that bruck the bank at Multifarnham. Badol — — — That would do.a|x|3| and |3a new complexion was put on the matter when,3| to the perplexedly uncondemnatory bench, the first King of all, |3Pegger3| Festy, as soon as the outer layer of |3dirt |aany luvial mud mistuck mucka|3| had been removed at the request of a few live jurors, declared |3in a |aburst loudbursta| of poesy3| through his |3Brythonic3| interpreter |3whereas take notice3| on |3the relics of3| his oath |3be the bones of the |abouchal storybouchala| that was ate by the be Cliopatrick (the sow)3| and before God and all their honours |3if live |aturkeys thurkeesa| followed him sure that was no theft and3| that he did not fire a stone either before or after he was born up to that day and this |3sockdologer3| he had the neck to |3supplement endorse |awith the head bowed on him |bover his outturned noreasterb|a|3| by postasserting |3to his lipreaders3| with a justbeencleaned barefacedness|3, abeam of moonlight soap,3| in the same |3native language trelawney3| what he would impart |3to Jesus & gentlemen of the jury3| that he might never ask to see sight or light of this world or the other world or any other world |3|aas true as he was in that jackabox that |bday minuteb|a| or wind the |ainexousthaustiblea| wassailhorn with our heroes in Warhorror3| if ever he up |3with or lave3| a hand to take or throw the sign of a mortal stick or stone at man, yoelamb or salvation army either before or after being baptised down to that most holy and |3ever3| blessed hour. |3Awham. Here, upon |ahis the |b½ kneedb| kithoguea| attempting |akithoguishlya| to make the sign of the Roman Godhelic faix outbroke much |alaughter laughtersa|, in which|a, under the mollification of methaglin,a| the |awitness testifier |breluctantlyb|a| joined.3|