Every evening at lighting up o'clock sharp and until further notice in Feenichts Playhouse. Bar and conveniences always open, Diddlem Club douncestears. Entrancings: gads, a scrab; the quality, one large shilling. Newly billed for each wickeday perfumance. Somndoze massinees. By arraignment, childream's hours, expercatered. Jampots, rinsed porters, taken in token. With serial redistribution of parts and players by the puppetry producer and daily dubbing of ghosters. With the benediction of the Holy Genesius Archimimus and under the distinguished patronage of Their Elderships the Oldens from the four coroners of Findrias, Murias, Gorias and Falias: Messoirs the Coarbs: Clive Sollis, Galorius Kettle, Pobiedo Lancey and Pierre Dusort. While the Caesar-in-Chief looks. On. Sennet. As played to the Adelphi by the Brothers Bratislavoff (Hyrcan and Haristobulus) after humpteen dumpteen revivals. Before all the Kings Hoarsers with all the Queens Mum. And wordloosed over seven seas crowdblast in Celtelleneteutoslavzendlatinsoundscript. In four tubbloids. While fern may cald us until firn make cold. The Mime of Mick, Nick and the Maggies, adopted from The Ballymooney Bloodriddon Murther by Bluechin Blackdillon (authorwise “Big Storey”), featuring:
glugg (Mr Seumas MacQuillad: hear the riddles between the robot in his dress circular and the gagster in the rogues' gallery), the bold bad bleak boy of the storybooks who, when the tabs go
up, as we discover, because he knew to mutch, has been divorced into the disgrace court by
the floras (Girl Scouts from St Bride's Finishing Establishment: demand acidulateds), a month's bunch of pretty maidens who, while they pick on her, their pet peeve, form with valkyrienne licence the guard for
izod (Miss Butys Pott: ask the attendantess for a leaflet), a bewitching blonde who dimples delightfully and is approached in loveliness only by her grateful sister reflection in a mirror, the cloud of the opal, who, having jilted Glugg, is being fatally fascinated by
chuff (Mr Sean O'Mailey: see the chalk and sanguine pictograph on the safety drop), the fine frank fairhaired fellow of the fairytales who wrestles for tophole with the bold bad bleak boy, Glugg, geminally about caps or puds or tog bags or bog gats or chuting rudskin gunerally or something|err,ºerr| until they adumbrace a pattern of somebody else or other, after which they are both carried off the set and brought home to be soundly soaped, sponged and scrubbed again by
ann (Miss Corrie Corriendo, Grischun scoula: bring the babes, Pieder, Poder and Turtey, she mistributes mandamus monies after perdunamento, hendrud aloven entrees, pulcinellis must not miss our national rooster's rag), their poor little old mother-in-lieu who is woman of the house, playing opposite to
hump (Mr Makeall Gonne: read the sayings from Laxdaelasaga in the programme about King Ericus of Schweden and the spirit's whispers in his magical helmet), cap-a-pipe with watch, topper, coat, crest and supporters, the cause of all our grievances, the whirl, the flash and the trouble, who, having partially recovered from a recent
impeachment, due to egg everlasting, but throughandthoroughly proconverted, is studding sail once more, jibsheets and royals, in the semblance of the substance for the membrance of the umbrance with the remnance of the emblence reveiling a quemdam supercargo, of The Rockery, Poopinheavin, and engaged in entertaining in his pilgrimst customhouse at Caherlehome-upon-Eskur those statutory persons
the customers (Components of the Afterhours Courses at St Patricius' Academy for Grownup Gentlemen: consult the annuary, coldporters sibsuction), a bundle of a dozen of representative locomotive civics inn quest of outings, each of whom is a jactitator, who are still more sloppily served after every cup final by
saunderson (Mr Knut Oelsvinger: Tiffsdays off, Wouldntstays in bad, imitation of flatfish, torchbearing supperaape, dud halfsovereign, no chee daily, rolly pollsies, Glen of the Downs, the Gugnir, his geyswerks, his earsequack, his lokistroki, o.s.v.), a scherinsheiner and spoilcurate, unconcerned in the mystery but under the inflounce of the milldieuw and butt of
kate (Miss Rachel Lea Varian: she tells forkings for baschfellors, under purdah of card palmer teaput tosspot Madam d'Elta, during the pawses), kook-and-dishdrudge, whitch believes wanthingthats, whouse be the churchyard or whorts up the aasgaard, the show must go on.
Time: the pressant.
With futurist |errone-horse onehorseºerr| balletbattle pictures and the Pageant of Past History worked up with animal variations amid everglading mangrovemazes
and propounded for cyclological beorbtracktors by Messrs Thud and Blunder. Shadows by the film folk. Masses by the good people. Promptings by Elanio Vitale. Longshots, upcloses, outblacks and stagetolets by Hexenschuss, Coachmaher, Incubone and Rocknarrag. Creations tastefully designed by Madame Berthe Delamode. Dances arranged by Harley Quinn and Coollimbeina. Jests, jokes, jigs and jorums for the Wake lent from the properties of the late cemented Mr T. M. Finnegan R.I.C. Lipmasks and hairwigs by Ouida Nooikke. Limes and Floods by Crooker and Toll. Kopay pibe by Kappa Pedersen. Hoed Pine hat with twentyfour ventholes by Morgen. Bosse and stringbag from Heteroclitheroe's Endsodds and All Ladies' Presents. Tree taken for grafted. Rock rent. Phenecian blends and Sourdanian doofpoosts by Shauvesourishe and Wohntbedarft. The oakmulberryeke with silktrick twomesh from Shop-Sowy, Seedsmanchap. Grabstone beg from General Orders Mailed. The crack (That's Cork!) by a smoker from the gods. The interjection (Buckley!) by the firemen
in the pit. Accidental music providentially arranged by L'Archet and Laccorde. Melodiotiosities in purefusion by the score. To start with in the beginning, we need hirtly bemark, a community prayer, everyone for himself, and to conclude with as an exodus, we think it well to add, a chorale in canon, good for us all for us all us all all. Songs betune the acts by the ambiamphions of Annapolis, Joan MockComic, male soprano, and Jean Souslevin, bass noble, respectively: O, Mester Sogermon, ef thes es whot ye deux, then I'm not surpleased ye want that bottle of Sauvequipeu and Oh Off Nunch Der Rasche Ver Lasse Mitsch Nitscht. Till the summit scenes of climbacks castastrophear The Bearded Mountain (Polymop Baretherootsch) and The River Romps to Nursery (Maidykins in Undiform). The whole thugogmagog, including the portions understood to be oddmitted as the results of the respective titulars neglecting to produce themselves, to be wound up for an afterenactment by a Magnificent Transformation Scene showing the Radium Wedding of Neid and Moorning and the Dawn of PEACE, Pure, Perfect and Perpetual, Waking the Weary of the World.
An argument follows.