— Could you, of course, dear Shaun, |2I we2| knew, while still in the barrel, read the strangewriting strangewritten Shem language of those letter for His Majesty.
— I, Shaun replied, cd play it |2backwards2| like anything |2with my eyes shut & all2|. |2|aAs far as that goes I associate myself with yr remarks just now.a| I agree in your description2| But it is awful |2for bad |afor ona|2| the hand. It is a pinch of scribble. |2Flummery is what I wd call it |areduced to writinga| if you were to ask me |amy |bpronouncedb| opiniona| about |awhat them bagses of trash whicha| Mr Shem & the mother has written.2| An infant sailing eggshells on the floor of a wet day wd have more sabby.
Letter, carried by Shaun, son of Hek, written by Shem, brother of Shaun, for Alp, mother of Shem, about Hek, father of Shaun.
— |2Dear Kind2| Shaun, |2I we all2| requested, since you came to the use of language have you not, without suggesting for an instant, millions of times used language 10 times as worse as the language used up by yr |2celebrated2| brother Shem?
|2— Celebrated? pursued Shaun. Notorious I rather wd feel inclined in myself to describe him as.2|
— I wd not like, Shaun replied, to |2|aas toa| be so insulting to myself as to2| swear just for the moment |2positively2| as to |2that the other2| but let me say |2|ait isa| my belief before my God |aisa| that2| I |2much2| doubt it.|2'Tis2| She, the mother, was put up to it by him, the iniquity. |2That ought to be |aput placed in ironsa| into some institution for such matters |aif he cd first pass the |bpanelb| doctora|. |aRot him! |bFlannelfeet!b| He's no cousin of mine.a|2|
— |2Will you not May we beg you2|, dear Shaun, |2I we2| suggested, |2describe unravel to me in yr own words |ato your very humble and yours most respectfullya|2| as to how?
— |2You may & welcome.2| For three days, Shaun |2replied narrated2|, she kept howling & bawling with him handling the pen with a hiccup. |2|aIt was entirely the latter to blamea| It was given me to assist at the whole business by grace2| |2It They2| lasted 70 hours.
— But for what, dear Shaun? |2I we2| asked |2vouchsafe to say2|.
— For his language, Shaun replied, which he put inside his letter.
— But you cd come near it, dear Shaun, I replied |2I we2| suppose, dear Shaun? |2I we2| supposed.
— No-one cd, Shaun replied, |2as I have said before2| for it's being incendiary.
— Still |2in a way2| |2I we2| suppose you |2that are so brainy in yourself2| cd use worse yrself, dear |2ingenious2| Shaun, |2I we2| still supposed, if only you wd take the trouble of so doing it.
— Undoubtedly |2so that is show2|, Shaun replied, & by the powers of war I cd do it any time
|2ever2| I liked |2as |ayou see,a| I
am extremely ingenious2| even with my left hand & as |2easily easy2| as a keg of beer &
|2much worse than it wd far exceed all2| what |2my bogus brother that bogus
bolshy2| Shem is conversant in with |2& 1 of those days I will |afeel moved
toa| do it |a|bsimplyb| as a work of merita| mark my words |athat will open
|bhis yourb| eyes for |bhim youb|,
boor,a|2| only for, as an amateur & |21012| other things,
|2I never wd wd never for anything2| take
so much trouble of so doing. |2And why so? Because I am altogether too hairy for the like of that.2| And by all I hold sacred I swear |2to you on my pipe & oath2| by the name of Shaun that I will commit to the flames any incendiarist whoever who will try to set a mother of mine on fire. I will soho.
|2And big |ahottempereda| husky that he was he all but broke down over it for, sure, he was the soft of the world.2| Mind you, he was in the deepest of earnest about it |2although orthough2| him |2jaw jawr2| |2war too hearvy felt too hleepy2| to halk |2a lot urthing further2| |2only Like that only he stopped short &2|, in looking up |2upon the heavens as they were2| to find out what age he might look by |2the polar star Charles' Wain2|, he overbalanced by the mighty fine weight of the barrel and, as the wisest course, |2collapsed together &2| rolled backwards |2in a twinkling2| |2round via2| Sane's corner out of further earshot, with his curious |2slipashod2| mode of motion a fairish & easy way enough behind the times in the direction of MacAuliffe's |2crucet house2|, before he was really uprighted.
Well, |2it is to be regretted that2| thou art passing hence, dear Shaun, from carnal relations & familiar places, more is the pity, but, for all your deeds of goodness,
|2|athe as the humbler classes can tella| it is hardly we can part
you2| may the moss of prosperousness gather you rolling home! May foggy dews bediamondise your hooprings! May the fireplug of filiality reinsure your bunghole! Well we know you were loth to leave|2, winding
your horn, |aright royal post,a|2| but, sure, treasure, you
will turn up some |2boxing2| day or other |2as soon as with2| yr pockets |2are empty turned inside out2|, pending which in any case may the grass grow l quickly under yr feet or the daisies trip lightly over yr toes.º