Jaunty Jaun, as I wasº shortly before that made aware, next halted to fetch a breathº the first
|shcothurminoussh| leg of his nightstride being pulled through,º and to loosen
(let God's son now be looking down onº the poor preambler!) both of his bruised broguesº that were plainly made a good bit before his hosen were, at the weir by
Lazar's Walk (for far and wide, as large as he was lively, was he noted for his humane treatment of any kind of abused footgear),º a matter of maybe nine score or so barrelhoursº distance
offº as truly he merited to do. He was there,º you could planemetricallyº see, when I took a closer look at him,
that was to say, (graciousº helpings, at this rate of growing our cotted child of yestereve will soon fill space and burst in systems, so speeds the instant!) amplyº altered for the brighter, thoughº still the graven
image of his squarer self as he was used to be, perspiring but happy notwithstanding his foot was still asleep on him,º the way he thought, by the holy januarious, he had a
bullock's hoof in his buskin, with his halluxes so splendid, through Ireland untranscended, bigmouthed poesther, propped up, restant,º against a butterblond warden of the peace, one comestabulish Sigurdsen, (and where a better than such exsearfaceman to rest from roving the laddyown he
bootblacked?)º who, buried upright like the Osbornes, kozydozy, had tumbled slumbersomely on sleep at night duty behind the curing station, equilebriated amid the embracings
of a monopolizedº bottle.
Now, there were as many as twentynine hedge daughtersº out of Benent Saint Berched's national nightschool (for they seemed to remember how it was still a once-upon-a-four year) learning their antemeridianº lesson of life, under its tree, against its warning, beseated,º as they were,º upon the brinkspondy, attracted to the rarerust sight of the first human yellowstone landmarkº (the bear, the boer, the king of all boors, sirº Humphrey his knave we met on the moors!) while they paddled away, keeping time magnetically with their eight and fifty pedalettes, playing foolufoolº jouay allo misto posto, O so jaonickallyº, all barely in their typtap teens, describing a charming dactylogram of nocturnesº though repelled by the snores of the log who looked stuck to the sod as ever and oft, when liquefied, (vil!)º he murmoaned abasourdly in his Dutchener's native, visibly unmoved, over his treasure trove for the crown: Dotter dead bedstead mean diggy smuggy flasky.º
Jaunº (after he had in the first place doffed a hat with a reinforced crown and bowed to all the others in that chorus of praiseº of
goodwill girls on their best beehiviour who all they were girls all rushing sowarmly for the post as buzzy as sie could bie
to read his kisshands, kitteringº all about, rushing and making a tremendous girlsfuss over him pellmale|sh, their jeune
premierºsh| and his rosyposy smile, mussing his frizzy
hair and the golliwogº curls of him, all, butº that one; Finfria'sº fairest, done in loveletters
like a trayful of cloudberry tartlets (|shain't they fine, mighty, mighty fineº and honoured?sh|) and
smilingly smelling, pair and pair about, broad by bread and slender to slimmer, the nice perfumios that came cunvy
peelingº off him (nice!) which was angelic simply, savouring of wild thyme and parsley
jumbled with breadcrumbs (O nice!)º and feeling his full fat pouch for him so tactily and jingaling his jellybagsº for, |shthoughº he
looked a young chapplieº of sixtine,º they could frole by his manhood thatsh| he was just the killingest ladykiller all by kindness, now you,
Jaun,º asking kindlily (hillo, missies!) after their howareyous at all with those of their dollybegs
(andº where's Agatha's lamb? and how are Bernadetta's columbillasº? and
Juliennaw'sº |shtubberbunniessh|? and Eulalina's
tuggerfunnies?)º he nextº went on (finefeelingfit!) to drop a few stray remarks anent their personal appearances and the contrary tastes displayed in their tight kittycasques and their smart frickyfrockies, asking coy one after sloy one had she read Irish legginds and gently reproving one that the ham of her hom could be seen below her hem and whispering another asideº as lavariantº that the hook of her hum was open a bittock at her backº to have a sideeyeº to that, hom,º (andº all of course just to fill up a form out of pure human kindness and in a sprite of fun) forº Jaun, by the way, was by theº way of becoming (I think, I hope he was) the most purely human being that ever was called man, |shloving all up and down the whole creation from Sampson's tyke to Jones'ssh| |shsprat and from the Kingº of all Wrenns down to infuseries)sh|ºº Jaun, after those few prelimbsº made out through his eroscope the apparition of his fond sister Izzyº for he knowed his love by her waves of splabashing and she showed him proof by her way of blabushingº norº could he forget her so tarnelly easy as all that since he was brotherbesides her benedict godfather and heaven knows he thought the world and his life of her sweet heart could buy, (brao!)º poor, good, true, Jaun.º
— Sister dearest, Jaun delivered himself with express cordiality, marked by clearance of diction and general delivery, as he began to take leave of his scolasticaº at once so as
to gain time with deep affection, we honestly believe you sorelyº will miss us the moment we
exit yet we feel as a martyr to the dischurch of all duty that it is about time, by Great
Harry,º we would shove off to stray on our long last journey and not be the load on ye. This is the gross proceeds of
your teachings in which we were raised, you, sisº, that used to write to us the exceeding nice letters for
presentation and would be telling us anun (full well do we
wont to recall to mind) thy oldworld tales of homespinning and derringdo and dieobscure and daddyho, theseº tales which reliteratelyº
whiskedº offº our heart so narrated by thou, gesweest, to perfection, our pet pupil of the whole rhythmetic class and the mainsay of our
erigenalº houseº the time we younkers twain were fairly tossing ourselves
(O Phoebus! O Pollux!) in bed, having
been laid up with Castor's oil on the Parrish's syrup (the night we willº remember) for to share our hard suite of affections with thee.
I rise, Oº fair assemblage! Andcommincio. Now then, after this introit of exordium, my galaxy girls, quiproquo of
directions to henservants I was asking his advice on the strict T.T. from Father Mike, P.P.,º my orational dominican and |shconfessor
doctorsh|, C.C.D.D. (buy theº birds,º he was saying |shas he yerked me under the
ribssh|º sermon in an offrand way and confidenceº petween peasº like ourselves in soandsoº
many nuncupiscent words about how he hadº been confarreating teat-a-teatº with two viragos intactas aboutº what an awful life he led, poorish priced,
|shuttering mass for a coppall of geldingssh| and whatº a lawful
day it was, there and then, for a consommation with an effusion and how, by all the manny larries ate pignatties, how,
tunnelssh|º, he'd marry meº any old buckling time as flyingº quick as he'd look at me)º and I am giving youth now again in
words of style byaway of offertoryº hisandº mikeadvice, an it place the person, as ereº
|shhe retook him to his curesh|, those verbs he said to me.
|shFrom above.sh| The most eminent bishop titular of
Dubloonik to all his purtybusses in Dellabelliney.º Comeallyedimseldamselsº, siddle down and lissle all! Follow me close! Keep me in
view! Understeady me saries! Which is to all practising massoeursesº from a preaching freer and be a gentleman without a duster before a parlourmade without a spitch. Now.
During our brief apsence from this furtive feugtig season adhere to as many as probable of the ten commandments |shtouching
purgations and indulgencessh| and in the long run they will prove for your better guidance along your path of right of way.º Where the lisieuse are
we and what'sº the first sing to be sung? |shIs it rubrics, mandarimus, pasqualines,º or verdidads is in it,º or the
bruiselividsh| indecoresº |shof estreme voyoulence and, for the lover of lithurgy,sh| bekant or
besant, |shwhere's the fate's to be wished for?sh| Several sindays after whatsintime.
I'll sack that sick server the minute I bless him. That's the mokst I can do for his grapce. |shEconomy of movementsh|, axe why said. I've a
hopesome's choice if I chouse of all the |shsinkts in the colander. Fromsh| the common
for ignitiousº Purpalume |shtosh| the proper of |shFranciscoº Ultramare, last of scorchers, third of snows, in terrorgammonsº howdydos.sh| Here she's,º is a bellº, that's wares in heaven, virginwhite, Undetrigesima,º vikissy manonna. Doremon's!ºº |shsh|º The same or similar to be kindly observed within the affianced dietcess of Gay O'Toole and Gloamy Gwenn du Lake |sh(Danish spoken!)sh| from Manducare Monday up till farrier's siesta in china dominos. Words taken in triumph, |shmy sweet assistancesh|, from the sufferant pen of our jocosus inkerman militant of the reed behind the ear.
Never miss your lostsomewhere mass for the couple in Myles you butrose to
brideworship. Never hate mere pork which is bad for your knife of a good friday. Never let
a hog of the howth trample underfoot your linen of Killiney. Never play lady's game for the Lord's stake. Never lose your heart away till you
win his diamond back. Makeº a strong point of never kicking up your rumpus over the scroll end of sofas in the Dar Bey Coll Cafeteria by tootling risky
apropos songs at commercial travellers' smokersº for their Columbianº nights entertainmentsº the like of White limbs they never stop teasing
or Minxy was a Manxmaid when Murry worº a Manº. And, by the bun, is it you goes bisbuiting His Esaus and Cos and then throws
them bag in the box?º Whyº the tin's nearly empty. Firstº thou shalt not smile.º
Twiceº thou shalt not love. Lust, thou shalt not commix idolatry. |shHip confinerssh| help compunction.
Never park your brief stays in the men's convenience. Never clean your buttoncups with your dirty pair of sassers. Never ask his first person where's your quickest cut to our last place. Never let the
promising hand usemake free of your oncemaid sacral. The soft side of the axe! |shA coil of cord, a colleen coy, a blush
on a bush turned first man's laughter into wailful moither. O foolish cuppled! Ah, dice's error!sh| Never dip in the ern while you've browsers on your suite. Never slip the
silver key through your gate of golden age.º |shCollide with
mansh|, collude with money. Ere you sail foreget my prize. |shWhereº you truss be
circumspiciousº and lookº before you leak, dears.sh| Never christen
medlardº apples till a swithin is in sight.º Wet your thistle where a weed is and you'll rue
itº despyneedisº. Especially bewareº
pleaseº of being at a party to any demoralizingº home life. That saps a chap.º Keep cool faith in the firm,º have warm hoep in the house and begin frem athome to be chary of charity. Where it is nobler in the main to supperº than the boys and errors of outrager's virtue. |shGive back those stolen kissessh|; restaure those allcotten glooves. Recollect the yella perals that |shall too oftensh| beset green gerils, Rhidarhoda and Daradora, once they gethobbyhorsical playingº breeches parts for Bessy Sudlow in fleshcoloured pantos instead of earthing down in the coalhole trying to boil the big gun'sº dinner. Leg-before-Wicked lags-behind-Wall where here Mr Whicker whacked a great fall. Femorafamilla feeled it a candleliked but Hayes, Conyngham and Erobinson sware it's an egg. Forglim mick aye! Stay, forestand and tillgive it!º Remember the biter's bitters Iº shed the |shvigilsh| I buried our Harlotte Quaiº from poor Mrs Mangain's of Britain Court on the feast of Marie Maudlin. |shAh,º who would wipe her weeper dry and lead her to the halterº?sh| Sold in her heyday, laid in the straw, bought for one puny petunia. Moral:º if you can't point a lily get to henna out of here.º Put your swell foot foremost onº foulardy pneumonia shertwaists, irriconcilible with true fiminin risirvitionº and ribbons of lace,º limenick's disgrace. Sure, what is it on the whole only holes tied together, the merest andº transparent washingtones to make Languid Lola's lingery longer? |shScenta Clauthes stiffstuffs your hose and heartsies full of temptiness.sh| Vanity flee and Verity fear! Diobell! Whalebones and buskbutts may hurt you (thwackaway thwuck!) but never lay bare your breast secret (dickette's place!) to joy a Jonas in the Dolphin's Barncar with your meetual fan,º Doveyed Covetfilles,º comepulsing paynattention spasms between the averthisment for Ulikah's wine and |sha pair of pulldoorsº of the old cupiosity shapesh|. There you'll fix your eyes darkled on the autocart of the bringfast cable but here till youreº martimorphysed please sit still face to face. For if the shorth of your skorth falls down to his knees pray how wrong will he look till he rises? Not before Gravesend is commuted. But now reappears Autist Algy, the pulcherman and |shwould-do performersh|, |sholeas Mrº Smuth,sh| stated by the |shvice crusaderssh| to be well
known to all the |shdallytauntiessh| in and near the ciudad of Buellas Arias, taking you to the playguehouse to see the Smirchingº of Venus andº |shº ºsh| º asking |shwith whispered offerssh| in a very low bearded voice, withº a nice little tiny manner and in a very nice little |shtonysh| way,º won't you be an artist's moral and pose in your nudies as a local esthetic before voluble old masters, introducing you, |shleft to right the party comprisessh|, to hogarthsº like Bottisillyº and Titteretto and Vergognese and Coraggioº |shwith their extrahand Mazzaccio,ºsh| |shplus the usual bilker's dozen of dowdycameramensh|º. And the volses of lewd Buylan,º for innocence! And the phyllisophies of Bussup Bulkeley. |shO, the frecklessnessº of the giddies nouveautays.sh|º |shThere's many's the icepolled globetopperº is haunted by the hottest spot under his equatorsh| |shlike Ramrod, the meaty hunter, always jaeger for a thrustsh|. |shThe back beautifulsh|, the undraped |shdivinesh|!º And Suzy's Moedl's with their Blue Danuboyes! All blah! |shViper's vapid vilest!sh| Put off the old man at the very font and get right on with the nuttyº sparker round the back. |shSlip your oval out of touch and let the paravis be your goal.sh| Up leather, Prunella, |shconvert your trysh|! Stick wicks in your earshells when you hear the prompter's voice. Look on a boa in his beauty and you'll never moreº wear your strawberry leaves. Rely on the relic. What bondman ever you bind on earth I'll be bound 'twasº combined in hemel. Keep airly hores and the worm is yores. |shDress the pussysh| for her nighty and follow her piggytails up their way to Winkyland. See little poupeepº she's firsht ashleep. |shAfter having sat your poetries and you know what happens when chine throws over jupan.sh| Go to doss with the poulterer, |shyou understand,sh| and shake up with the milchmand. The Sully van vultures are on the prowl. And the hailies fingringmariesº. Tobaccosº tabu and toboggan's a back seatº. Secret satieties and onanymous letters make the great unwatched as bad as their betters. Don't on any account acquire a paunchon for that alltoocommon |shfagbuttsh| habit of frequenting and chumming together with the braces of couples in Mr Tunnelly's hallways |sh(smash it)sh| wrigglingº with lowcusses and cockchafers and vamps and rodants, withº the end to commit acts of
interstipital indecency as between twinetiesº and tapegarters, |shfingerpatssh| on fondlepets, under the couvrefeu act.º It's the thin end;º wedge your steps.º |shYour high poweredº hefty hoyden thinks nothing of rampingº through a whole suite of smokeless husbands.sh| Three minutesº I'm counting you.º Woooooon.º No triching now! Give me that when I tell you! |shRagazza ladra!sh| And is that any place to be smuggling his madam's apples up? |shDeceitful jade.sh| Gee wedge! Begor, I like the way they're half cooked.º Hold, flay, grill, fire that laney feeling for kosenkissing disgenicallyº within the proscribed limits like Population Peg on a hint or twimº |shclandestinelysh| does be doing to Temptation Tom,º atkingsº questions in barely and snakking svarewords like a nursemagd. While there's men-o'warº on the say there'll be loves-o'womenº on the do. Love |shthrough the usual channelssh|, cisternbrothelly, when properly disinfected and taken neatº in the generable way upon retiring to roost in the company of a husband-in-law or other respectable relative of an apposite sex,º not |shlove that leads by the nosesh| as |shI foresmelltsh| but |shcanalised love, you understand,sh| does a felon good, suspiciously if he has a slugger's liver butº I cannot belabour the point too ardently (and after the lessions of experience I speak from inspiration) that fetid spirits is the thief of prurities, so none of your twenty rod cherrywhisks, me daughter.º Atº the Cat and Coneyº or |shthe Spotted Dogsh|º.ºº And at 2bisº Lot's Road. When parties get tight for each other they lose all respect together. By the stench of her fizzle and the glib of her gab know the drunken draggletail Dublin drab. You'll pay for each bally sorraday night every billing sumday morning. When the night is in May and the moon shines might.º We won't meeth in Navan till you try to give the Kellsfrieclubº the goby. Hill or hollow, Hull or Hague! And beware how you dare of wet cocktails in Kildare or the same may see your wedding driving home from your wake. |shMades of ashens when you flirt spoil the lad but spare his shirt.º Lay your lilylike long his shoulder but buck back if he butsº bolder and just hep your homely hop and heed no horning butº if you've got some brainy notion to raise cancan and rouse commotion I'll be apt to flail that tail for you till it's
borning.sh| Let the love |shº ladleliked at the eyeº girde your gastricks in the gymsh|. Nor must you omit to screw the lid firmly on that jazz jiggery and kick starts. Bumping racesº on the flat and point to pointº over obstacles. Ridewheeling that acclivisciously up windy Rutland Rise and insighting rebellious northers beforeº the saunter of the city of Dunlob. Then breretonbiking on the free with your airs of go-be-dee and your heels upon the handlebars. Berrboelº brazenness! No, |shbefore your corselage rib is decartilagedsh|, that is to meanº |shif you have visceral ptossissh|º, my point isº making allowances for the fadsº of |shyour weak abdominal wall and your liver asprewlsh|º, vinvin, vinvin, or should you feel, |shin shortssh|, as though you needed healthy physicking |shexorcisesh|º to flush your kidneys, you understand, and move that twelffingerº bowel |shand threadworm inhibitating itsh|, lassy, and perspire freely,ºº lict your lector in the lobby and whyº out you go by the ostiary on to the dirt trackº and skip.º Be |sha sportivesh|. Deal with Natureº the great greengrocerº and pay regularlyº the monthlies. Your Punt's Perfume's only in the hatpinny shop beside the reek of the rawny.º It's more important than air — I mean than eats — air (Oopº, |shI never open momouth but I pack mefood in itsh|) andº promotes that natural emotion. |shStamp out bad eggs.sh| |shWhy so many puddings prove disappointingsh|, |shasº Dietician sayssh|, inº Creature Comforts Causeries, |shand why so much soup is so muck slopsh|. If we could fatten on the elizabeetons we wouldn't have teeth like the hippopotamians. However. Likewise if I were in your envelopeº shirt I'd keep my weathereye well cocked open for your furnished lodgers paying for their feed on tally with company and piano tunes.º |shOnly stuprifying yourself!sh| The too friendly friend sort,º |shMazourikawitch or some other sukinsin of a vitchsh|,º whoº he's kommen from olt Pannonia on this porpoise whom sue stooderin about the maul and femurl artickles and who mix himself so at home mid the musik and spanks the ivory that lovely for this your Mistroº Melosiosus MacShine MacShaneº may soon prove your undoing and bane through the succeeding years of rain should you, whilst Jaun is from home, get used to basking in his loverslowlap, |shinordinately cladsh|, |shmoustacheteasingsh|,
when closehendedº together behind locked doors, kissing steadily,º (malbongusta, it's not the thingº you know) with the calfloving selfseeker, under the influence of woman,º inching up to you, disarranging your modesties and fumbling with his forte paws in your bodice after your billy doosº twy as a first go offº (take care, would you stray and split on me!) and going on doing his idiot every time you gave him his chance to get thick and play piggly-wigglyº, making much of you, bilgetalking like a ditherer, gougouzoug,º about your glad neck and the round globe and the white milk and the red raspberries (O horrifier!) and prying down furthermore to chance his lucky arm with his pregnant questions up to ourº past lives. |shWhat has that caught to sing with him?sh|º |shThe next fling you'll be squittingº on the Tubber Nakel, pouring pitchers to the well for old Gloatsdane's glorification and the postequitiesº of the Black Watch, peeping private from the Bush and Rangers.sh| |shAnd our local busybody,sh| |shtalker-go-bragk.ºsh| |shWorse again! Off of that praying fan on toº them priars!sh| It would be a whorable state of affairs altogether for theº redcolumnistsº |shof presswritten epicssh|, Peterº Paragraph and Paulus Puff, (I'm keepsoaking them |shto cover my concertssh|)º to get ahold of for their balloons and shoot you private by surprise, consideringº the marriage slump that's on this oil age and pulexes three shillings a pint and wives at six and seven when domestic calamities belame par and newlaids bellow mar for the twenty twotoosent timeº thwealthy took thousands in the slack march of civilisationº were you, becoming guilty of unleckylike intoxicationº to have and to hold, to pig and to payº direct connectionº qua intervenerº with a prominent married member of the vicereeking squad andº in consequence of the therinunderº subpenasº be flummoxed to the second degree by becoming a detestificated companykeeper on the dammymonde of Lucalamplight. Anything but that, for the fear and love of gold! Once and for all, I'll have no college swankies (you see,º I am well voiced in love's arsenal and all |shits overturessh| from collion boys to colleen bawnsº so I have every reason to know that rogues' gallery of nightbirds and bitchfanciers, lucky duffs and light lindsays, haughty hamiltons and gay gordons, dosed, doctored
and otherwise, messing around skirts and what their fickling intentions look like, you make up your mind to that) trespassing on your danger zone in the dancer years. If ever I catch you at it, mind, it's you that will cocottch it! |shI'll tackle you to feel if you have a few devils in you.sh| |shHoly gunsh|, I'll give it to you, hot, high and heavy beforeº you can say sedro!º Or may the maledictions of Lousyfear fall like nettlerash on the white friar's father that converted from moonshine the fostermother of the first nancyfreeº that ran off after the trumpadour that mangled Moore's melodies and so upturned the tubshead of the stardaft journalwriter to inspire the prime finisher to fellhim the firtree out of which Cooper Funnymore planed the flat of the beerbarrel on which my grandydad's lustiest sat his seat of unwisdom with my tante's petted sister for the cause of his joy! Ameneº.
Poof! There's puff for ye, begorº, |shand planxty of
itsh|, all abound me breadth! Glor galore and glory be! As broad as its lung and as long as a line! The valiantine vaux of Venerable
Val Vousdem. If my jaws must brass away like the due drops on my lay. |shAnd the topnoted delivery you'd expected be me
invoice!sh| Theo Dunnohoo's warning from Daddy O'Dowd. Whoo? What I'm wondering to myselfwhose for there's
a strong tendencyº to put it mildlyº by making me the medium. I feel spirts of itchery outching out from all over me and only for the sludgehummer's force in my hand to hold them the darkens alone knows what'll who'll be saying of next. However. Now,
|shbefore my upperotic rogistersh|, something nice.º Now? Dear Sister, inº
perfect leave again I say take a brokerly advice and |shkeep it to yourselfsh| that
we,º Jaun, first of our nameº here now make all receptacles of freeº of price. Easy, my dear, if they tingle you
either say nothing or nod. |shNo cheekacheek with chipperchapperº, you and your last mashboy and the padre in the pulpbox enumerating you his
nostrums.sh| Be vacillant over those vigilant who would leave you to belave black on white. Close in for |shpsychical
hijiniksºsh| as well but fight shy of mugpunters. I'd burn the books that grieve you and light an allassundrian bompyre that would suffragate Tome Plyfire or Zolfanerole. Perousse instate your Weeklyº Standerd, our
verile organ that is ethelred by all
pressdom. Apply your five wits to the four verilatest. The Arsdiken's An Traitey on Miracula orº Viewed to Death by a Priest Hunter is still first in the field despite the castle bar,º William Archer's a rompan good cathalogue and he'll give you a riser on the route to our nazional labronryº. |shSkim over Through Hell with the Papessh| (mostly boys) by |shthe divine comic Denti Alligatorsh| (exsponging your |shindexsh|) and find a quip in a quire arisus aream |shfrom bastardtitle to fatherjohnsonsh|. Swear aloud by pious fiction the like of Lentil Lore by Carnival Cullen or that Percy Wynns of our S. J. Finn's or Peaseº in Plenty by the Curer of Wars,º licensed and censered by |shour most picturesque prelates,sh| Their Graces of Linzen and Petitbois, bishops ofº Hibernites, licet ut lebanus, for expansion on the promises, the two best sells on the market this luckiest year, set up by Gill the father, put out by Gill the son and circulating disimally at Gillydehooly's Cost.º Strike up a nodding acquaintance for our doctrine with the works of old Mrs Trot, senior, and Manoel Canter, junior, and Loper de Figas, nates maximum. I used to follow Mary Liddlelambe's flitsy tales, espicially with the scentaminted sauce. Sifted science will do your arts good. Egg Laid by Former Cock and With Flageolettesº in Send Fanciesland. Chiefly girls. Trip over sacramental tea into the long lives of our saintsº and saucerdotes, with vignettes,º cut short into instructual primers by those in authority for the bittermint of your soughts. Forfetº not the palsied. Light a match for poor old Contrabally and send some balmoil for the schizmatics. |shA hemd in need is aye a friendly deed.sh| Remember, maid, thou dustº art powder but Cinderella thou mustº returnº (whatº are you robbingº her sleeve for,º Ruby? And pull in your tongue, Polly!).º Cog that out of your teen times, everyone.º |shThe lad who brooks no breaches lifts the lass that toffs a tailor.sh| How dare ye be laughing out of your mouthshine at the lack of that? Keep cool your fresh chastity which is farº better farº. Sooner than part with that vestalite emerald of the first importance, descended to me by far from our family,º which you treasure up so closelyº whereº extremes meet, nay, mozzedº lesmended, rather let the whole ekumene universe belong to merry Hal and do whatever his Mary well
likes. |shWhen the gong goes for hornets-two-nestº marriage step into your harnessº and strip off that nullity suit.sh| Faminy, hold back! For the race is to the rashest of, the romping, jomping rushes of. |shHaul Seton's down, blackº, green and grey, and hoist Mikealy'sº whey and sawdust.sh| What's |shoverdressed if underclothedsh|? |shPoposhtsh| |shforstake me knot where there's white lets ope.sh| Whisht! |shBlesht she that walked with good Jook Humpreysh|º for he made her happytight. Go! You can down all the dripping you can dumple to, andº |shbuffkid scousesh| too ad libidinum,º in these lassitudes if you've parents and things to look after. That was what stuck to the Comtesse Cantilene while she was sticking out Mavis Toffeelips to feed her soprannated huspals, andº it is henceforth associated with her names. La Dreeping! Die Droopink! The inimitable in puresuet of the inevitable! There's nothing to touch it we are tauchtº unless she'd care for a mouthpull of white pudding forº the wish is on her rose marine and theº lunchlight in her eye,º soº when you pet the rollingpin write my |shname on the piesh|. Guard that gem, Sissy, rich and rare, ses he. In this cold old worold who'll feel it.º Hum! The jewel you're all so cracked about there's flitty few of them gets itº for there's nothing now but the sable stoles and a runabout to match it. Sing him a ring.º Touch me low. And I'll lech ye so, my soandso. Show and show. Show on show. She. Shoe. Shone.
Divulge, sjuddenly jouted out hardworking Jaun, |shkicking the console to his double andsh|
|shbraying aloud like Brahaam'ssh| ass, and,º as his |sh
voixehumanarº swelled to great,sh| clenching his manlies, so highly strong was he, man,
and gradually quite warming to her (thereº must have been a power of kinantics in that buel of gruel he gobed at bedgo)º divorce intoº me and say the curname
in undress |sh(if you get into trouble with a party you are not likely to forget his appearance
either)sh| of any lapwhelp or sleevemongrel who talks to you upon the road where he tuck you to be a roller, O, (theº goattanned saxopeeler
upshotdown |shchigs peelº of himsh|!) andº
volunteers to trifle with your roundlings for profferred glass and dough,
|shthe marrying hand that his leisure repents ofsh|, without taking out his proper password
from the eligible ministriss for affairs with the black fremdling, that enemyº of our country, in a cleanlooking light andIº don't care a tongser's tammany hang who the mucky is nor twoo hoots in the corner nor three shouts on a hillº (wereº he even a constantinealº namesuch of my very own,º |shAttaboyº Knowlingsh|,º and like enoch to my townmajor ancestors, the two that are taking out their divorces in the Spooksbury courts circuits, Rere Uncle Remus, the Baas of Eboracumº and Old Father Ulissabon Knickerbocker, the lanky sireº of Wolverhampton, about their bristelings), but asº true as there's a soke for sakes in Twoways Peterboroughº and sure as home we come to newsky prospectº from west the wave on schedule time |sh(if I came any quicker I'll be right back before I left)sh| from the land of breach of promiseº with |shBrendan's mantle whitening the Kerribrasilian sea andsh| March's pebbles spinning from beneath our footslipsº |shto carry fire and sword,sh| rest insured that as we value the very name in sisterº that as soon as we do possibly it will be a poor lookout for that insister. He's a markt man from that hour. And why do we say that, you may query me? Quary? Guess! |shCall'st thou?sh| |shThink and think and think,sh| I urge on you. Muffed! |shThe wrong porridge.sh|º |shYou are an ignoratis!sh| Because then probably we'll dumb well soon show him what the Shaun way is like how we'll go a long way towards breaking his outsider's face for him for making up to you with his bringthee |shbalm of Gayladsh| and his singthee songs of Arupee,ºº chancetryingº my ward's head |shintosh| |shsanctuarysh| before feeling with his two dimensionsº for your nuptial dito. Ohibow, if I was Blonderboss I'd gooandfrighthisdualman! Now, we'll tell you what we'll do to be sicker instead of compensation. We'll he'll burst our his mouth like Leary to the Leinsterface and reduce |shhe'll we'll ournhisnsh| liniments to a poolp. |shOpen the door softly, somebody wants you, dear.ºsh| You'll hear him calling you, bump, like a blizz, in the muezzin of the turkest night. |shCome on now, pillarbox! I'll stiffen your scribeall, brokenº reed!sh| That'll be it,º |shgrand operoarsh| style, even should I, |shwith my sleuts of hogpew and cheekas,sh| have to coomb the brash of the libs round Close Saint Patrice to lay my louseboob on his
behaitch like solitarº. |shWe are all eyes.sh| I have his quoram of images all on my retinue, Mohomadhawn Mike. Brassup!º Moreoverº afterº thatº bad manners to meº if I don't think strongly about giving the brotherkeeper into custody to the first police bubeyº cunstabless of Dora's Diehards in the field I might chance to follopon. Orº for that matter, |shfor your informationsh|, if I get the windº up what do you bet in the |shbuckets of my wrathsh| I mightn't even take it into my |shprogromme,sh| |shas sweet course,sh| to |shdo a rash act and pitch in andsh| swing for your perfect stranger in the meadow of heppiness and then wipe the street up with theº clonmellian , pending my bringing proceedings verses the |shjoyboysh| before a bunch of magistrafes and twelve good and gleeful men.ºº |shFilius nulliussh|º per fas et nefas.º It should prove more or less of an event |shand show the widest federal in my cupsh|º. He'll have pansements then for his pensamientos, |shhowling for peacesh|. |shPretty knockssh|, I promise him withº plenty burkes for his shins. Dumnlimn wimn humn. In which case I'll not be complete in fighting lust until I contrive to half kill your Charley you're my darling for you and send him to Home Surgeon Hume, the algebrist, before his appointed time, particularly should he turn out to be a man in brown about town, Rollo the Gunger, son of aº wants a flurewaltzer to Arnolff's, |shpicking up ideassh|, of |shwell over orsh| about fiftysix or so, pithecoid proportions, with perhops five foot eight, the usual X Y Z type, R.C.º Toc H, nothing but claret,º not in the studbook by a long stortchº, with a toothbrush moustache and jawcrockeries,º alias grinner through collar,º and of course no beard,º meat and colmans suit, with |shtar's baggy slackssh|,º |shobviously too roomy for himsh| and |shspringside bootssh|, washing tie, Father Mathew's bridge pin, sipping some Wheatley's at Rhoss's on a barstool, withº some pubpal of the Olaf Stout kidney, always trying to poorchase movables by hebomedaries for to putt in a new house to loot, cigarette in his holder, with a good job and pension in Buinness's, what about our trip to Normandy styleº conversation, with an occasional they say that filmacoulored featured at the Mothrapurl skrene about Michan and his lost angeleens is corkyshows do morvaloosº, blueygreen eyes a bit scummy developingº a series of
angry boils with certain references to the Deity, seeking relief in alcohol and so on, general omnibus character with a dash of railwaybrainº, stale cough and an occasional twinge of claudication, having his favourite fecundclass family of upwards of a decade, both harefoot and loadenbrogued, to boot and buy off, Imeanº.
So let it be a knuckle or an elbow, I hereby admonish you.º |shIt may all be topping fun but it's tip and run and touch and flow for every whack
when Marie stopes Phil fluther's game to go. Arms arome, side aside, face into the wall. To the tumble of the toss tot the trouble of the swaddled, O.sh| And lest there be no
misconception, Miss Forstowelsy, over who to fasten the plightforlifer on |sh(threehundred and thirty three to one on Rue the
Day!)sh| when the nice little smellar squalls in his crydle what the dirty old bigger'll be squealing through his coughinº you better keep in the gunbarrel straightº
|sharound vokseburstsh| as I recommence you to (you gypseyeyed
baggage, do you hear what I'm praying?) or, Gash,º without butthering my head to assortail whose stroke forced or which struck backly, I'll be all over you myselx horizontally,
|shas the straphanger said,sh| for knocking me with my name and
yourself and your babybag down at such a greetº sacrifice with a rap of the gavel to a
third price cowhandler as cheap as the niggerd's dirt (for sale!) or I'll smack your
|shfruitflavouredsh| jujube lips well
for you so I will well for youº if you don't keep a civil tongue in your pigeonhouse. The pleasures of love lasts but a fleeting but the
|shpledgessh| of life outlusts a lieftime.
|shI'll have it in for you.sh| I'll teach you bed minners, tip for tap,
º to be playing your oddaugghter tangotricks with
micky dazzlersº if I find corsehairs on your river-frockº
and the squirmside of your burberry lupitally covered with chiffchaff and shavings.
|shUp Rosemiry Lean and Potanasty Rod you wos, wos you?sh| |shI
overstand you, you understand.sh|
|shAsking Annybettyelsas to carry your parcels and you dreaming of net glory.sh| You'll ging
naemaer wi'Wolf the Ganger.º |shCutting chapelsh|, were you? andº
|shhad dates with slickers in particular hotelssh|, had we? Lonely went to play your mother, isod? You
was wiffriends? Hay, dot's a doll yarn! Mark mean then! I'll homeseek you, Lupercaº as sure as there's
a palatine in Limerickº and inº
stripedº conferenceº here's howº.º Nerbu de Bios!º If youº twos goes to walk upon the railway, Gard, and I'll goad to beat behind the bush.º |shSee to it!sh| Snip! |shIt's up to you.sh| |shI'll be hatsnatching harrier to hiding huries hinder hedge.sh| Snap! I'll tear up your limpshades and lock all your trotters in theº closet, I will, and cut your silkskin into garters. |shYou'll give up your ask unbrodhelº ways when I make you reely smart.sh| |shSo skelp your budd and kiss the hurt!sh| I'll have |shplenarysh| sadisfaction, plays the bishop, for your partial's indulgences if your my rodeo gell.º Fair man and foul suggestion. There's a lot of lecit pleasure coming bangslanging your way, Miss Pinpernellyº |shsatinsh|º. |shFor your own good, you understand, for the man who lifts hissh| |shpudsh| |shto a woman is saving the way for kindness.sh| You'll rebmemer your mottob Aveh Tiger Romaº mikely smarter the nickst time. For I'll just draw my prancer and give you one splitpuck in the crupper, you understand, that will bring the poppy blush of shame to your peony hindmost till you yelp papapardon and radden your rhodatantarumsº to the beat of calorrubordolor, I am, I do and I suffer,º (do you hear me now, lickspoon, and stop looking at your bussycat bow in the slate?)º that you won't obliterate for the bulkier part of a running year , failing to give a good account of yourself, if you think I'm so tan cupid as all that. Lights out now (bouf!), tight and sleep on it.º And that's how I'll bottle your greedypuss beautibus for ye,º me bullin heifer, for 'tisº I that have the peer of arrams that carry a wallop. Between them.
Unbeknownst to you would ire turn o'er see, a nuncio would I return here. How (from the sublime to the ridiculous) times out of oft, my future, shall we think with deepest of love and recollection by rintrospectionº of thee but
me far away on the pillow, breathing foundlyº o'er my names all through the empties, whilst moidhered by the rattle of the doppeldoorknockers. Our homerole poet to
Ostelinda, Fred Wetherly, puts it somewhys better. You're sitting on me style, maybe, whereoft I helped yourº ore.
Littlegameº rumilie from Liffalidebankum,º (Toobliqueme!)º
but a big corner fill you do in this unadulterated seat of our affections. |shAerwenger's my breed so may we uncreepingly
multipede like the sands on Amberhann.sh|º Sevenheavens, O heaven! Iy waount yiou!º yoreº ways to melittleme were wonderful so Ickamº purseproud in sending uymº loveliest pansiful thoughts touching me dash in-you through wee dots Hyphen, the so pretty arched godkin of beddingnights. |shIf I've proved to your sallysfashion how I'm a man of Armor let me so, let me sue, let me see your isabellis.sh| How I shall, should I survive, as, please the uniter ofº U.M.I. hearts, I am living in hopes to do, replacing migº wandering handsup in yawersº so yeager forº mitch, positively cover the two pure chicks of your comely plumpchake with zuccherikissings, hong, kong, and so gong, that I'd scare the bats out of the ivfry one of those puggyº mornings, honestly, by my rantandog and daddyoakº I will,º become come coming when, upon the mingling of our meeting waters, wish to wisher, like massive mountains to part no more, you will there and then, in those happy moments of ouryourº soft accord, rainkissº on me back, for full marks with shouldered arms, and in that united I.R.U. stade,º when I come (touf! touf!º) wildflier's fox into my ownº greengeeseº again, swap sweetened smugs, six of one for half a dozen of the other, till they'll bet we're the cuckoo derby when cherries next come back to Ealing as come they must, as they musted in their past, as they must for my pressing season, as hereinafter must they chirrywill immediately suant on my safe return to ignorance and bliss in my horseless Coppal Poor, through suirland and norelandº kings country and queens, with my ropes of pearls for gamey girls the way ye'll hardly. Knowme.
Slim ye, come |shslumsh| with me and rally rats' roundup.º 'Tis
post purification we will, sales of work and social service, missus, |shcompleting our Abelite union by the adoptation of
fosterlingssh|. Embark for |shEuphonia!sh|
|shUp Murphy, Henson and O'Dwyer, the Warchester Warders!sh| |shI'll put in a shirt time if you'll
get through your shift and betweenº ussh| |shin our shared slaves, brace to
brassiere and shouter to shunter,sh| |shwe'll pull off our working
programmesh|. Come into the |shgarden guildsh| and be free of the gape
athome.º We'll circumcivicise all Dublin country. Let us, |shthe real
Ussh|,º all ignite in our prepurgatory grade as aposcals
and |shbe instrumental tosh| utensilise, helpº our Jakeline sisters clean out the hogshole |shand generally ginger things upsh|. |shMeliorism in massquantities, raffling receipts and sharing sweepstakes till navel, spokes and felloes hum like hymn.sh| Burn only what's Irish, accepting their coals. |shYou will soothe the cokeblack bile that's Anglia's and touch Armourican'sº iron core.sh| Write me yourº essayesº, my |shvocational scholarssh|, but corsorily, |shdippingº your nose in itsh|,º for Henrietta's sakeº on mortinatality inº the life of jewries and the sludge of King Haarington'sº at its height, running boulevardsº over the whole of it. I'd write it all by mownself if I only had here of my jolly young watermen. Bear in mind, by Michael, all the provincial'sº bananas peelsº and elacock eggs making drawadust jubilee alongº Henry, Moore, Earl and Talbot Streets. Luke at all the memmer manning he's dung for the prayº of birds, our priest-mayor-king-merchant, strewing the Castleknock Road and |shdrawing manure upon itsh| till the first glimpse of Wales and from Ballses Breach Harshoe up to Dumping's Corner with theº |shMirist fathers' brotherssh| eleven versus White Friarsº out on a rogation stag party. Compare them caponchin trowlersº with the Bridgeº of Belches in Fairview,º noreast Dublin's favourite souwest wateringplatz andº ump as you lump it. What do you mean by Jno Citizen and how do you think of Jas Pagan? Compost liffe in Dufblin by Pierce Egan with the baugh in Baughkley of Fino Ralli. Explain why there is such a number of orders of religion inº Asea! Why such an order number in preference to any other number? Why any number in any order at all? Now? Where is the greenest island off the black coats of Spaign? Overset into universal: I am perdrix and upon my pet ridge. Oralmus!º Way, O way for |shthe autointaxication of our town of the Fords in a huddlesh|! Hailfellow some wellmet boneshaker or, |shtoº ascertain the facts for herself,sh| |shrun up your showeryweather oncesh| and trust and take the Drumgondola tram and, wearing the midlimb and vestee endorsed by the hierarchy fitted with ecclastics, |shbending your steps, pick a trail andsh| stand on, say, Aston's, I advise you stronglyº,º along quaithº a copy of the Seeds and Weeds Actº when you have procured one for yourselfº
andº take a good longing gaze into any nearby shopswindow you may select at suppose, let us say, the hoyth of number eleven, Kane or Keogh's, andº in the course of about thirtytwo minutes' time proceed to turn aroundabout on your heehills towards the previous causeway and I shall be very cruelly mistaken indeed if you will not be jushed astunshedº to seeº how you will be meanwhile durn weelº topcoatedº with kakes of slush occasioned by the mush jam of the cross and blackwallsº trafficº in transit. |shSee Capels and then fly.sh| Show me that |shcomplaint booksh| here. Where's Cowtends Kateclean, the woman with the muckrake? When will theº W.D. face of our sow muckloved d'linº, the Troia of towns and Carmen of cities, crawling with mendiants |shin perforated clothingsh|, getº its wellbelavered whiteº like l'pool and m'chester?º When's that grandnational goldcapped dupsydurby houspill coming |shwith its vomitivesº for our mothers-in-load and stretchers for their devitalised malessh|? I am all of me |shfor freedom of speedsh| but who'll disasperaguss Pope's Avegnue or who'll uproose the Opian Way? Who'll brighton Brayhowth and bait the Bull Bailey and never despair of Lorcansby? The rampant royal commissioners! 'Tisº an ill weed blows no poppy good. And this labour's worthy of my higher. |shOil for meed and toil for feed and a walk with the band for Job Loos.sh| If I hope not charity what profiteers me? Nothing! My tippers of flags are knobs of hardshape for |shit isagrim talesh|, keeping |shthe father of curlssh| from the sport of oak. Do you know what, liddle giddles? Oneº of those days I am advised by the smiling voteseeker who'sº now snoring eluedº to positively strike off hiking for good and allº as I |shbldy well bdlysh| oughtº until such temseº as some mood is made under privy-sealed orders to get me an increase of automoboil and footwear for these poor |shdiscalcedsh| and a bourse from bonº Somewind for a cure at Badanuweirº (though where it's going to come from this time —º) as I sartunly think now, honest to John, for an income plexus that that's about the sanguine boundary limit. Amean.
Sis dearest, Jaun added,º with voise somewhit murky,º what though still |shhigh fa lutingsh|,
as he turned his dorse to her to pay court to it, andº ouverleaved his booseys to give the note and
score, |shphonoscopically incuriositedsh| and melancholic this timeº whiles, |shas on the fulmament he gaped in wuldermentsh|, his onsaturncast eyes in stellar attraction followed swift to an imaginary swellaw, O, the vanity of Vanissy! All ends vanishing! Pursonally, Grog help me, I am in no violent hurry. If time enough lost the ducksº walking easy found them. I'll nose a blue fonx with any tristys blinking upon this earthlight of all them that pass by the way of the deerdrive, |shconconey's runsh| or wilfrid's walk, but I'd turn back as lief as not if I could only spoonfind the nippy girl of my heart's appointment, Monaº Vera Toutou Ipostila, my lady of Lyons, to guide me by gastronomy under her safe conduct. That's more in my line. I'd ask no kinder of fates than to stay where I am, with my tinny of |shbrownie's teash|, under the invocation of Saint Jamas Hanway, servant of Gamp, lapidated, and Jacobus a Pershawmº, intercissous, for my thurifex, with Peter Roche, that frind of my boozum, leaning on my cubits, at this passing moment by localoption in the birds' lodgingº me,º pheasants among,º |shwhere I'll dreamt that I'll dwealth mid warblers' walls when throstles and choughs to my sigh hiehiedsh|, with me hares standing up well and me longlugs dittoes, where |sha maurdering row, the fox!º has broken at the coward sightsh|º tillº well on into the beausome of the exhaling night, pinching stopandgo jewels out of the hedges and catching dimtop brilliants on the tip of my wagger butº for |shthat owledclockº (fast cease to it!) has just gone twoohoosh| |shthe hoursh| and thatº yen breezes zipping round by Drumsally do be devils to play fleurt.º I could sit on safe side till the bark of Saint Grouseusº for hoopoe's hours, till heoll's hoerrisings, laughing lazy at the sheep's lightningº and turn a widamost ear dreamily to the |shdrummling of sniperssh|, hearing |shthe wireless harpssh| of sweet old Aerial and the mails across the nightrivesº (peepet! peepet!) and whippoor willyº in the woody (moor park! moor park!)º as peacefed as a philopotamus, and crekking jugs at the grenoulls, leaving tealeaves for the trout and belleeks for the waryº till I'd followed through my upfieldedº neviewscope the rugaby moon cumuliously godrollingº himself westasleep amuckst the cloudscrums for to watch how carefully my nocturnal goosemother
would lay her new golden sheegg for me down under in the shy orient. What wouldn't I poach — the rent in my riverside, my otther shoes, my beavery, honest! — ay, |shand melt my beltsh|º for a dace feast of grannom with the finny ones, |shthose happy greppiesº in their minnowahaw,sh| flashing down the swansway, leaps ahead of the swiftº MacEelsº, the big |shGillaroo redfellowssh| and the pursewinded carpers,º rearin antis rood perches astench of me, or, when I'd like own company best, with the help of a norange and bear,º to be reclined by the lasher on my logansome,º my g.b.d.º in my f.a.c.e.,º solfanelly in my shellyholders and lov'd latakia, theº benuvolent,º for my nosethrills,º with the jealosomines wilting away to their heart's deelight and the king of saptimber letting down his humely odours for my consternation,º dapping my griffeen, burning water in the spearlight or catching trophies of the king's royal college of sturgeoneº by the armful for to bake pike and pie while, O twined me abower in L'Alouette's Tower, all Adelaide's naughtingerlsº juckjucking benighthº me, I'd gamut my twittynice Dorian blackbudds |shº chthonic solphiash| off my singasongapiccolo to pipe musicall airs on numberous fairyaciodes. I give, a king, to me, she does, alone, up there, yes see, I double give, till the spinney all eclosed asong with them. Isn't that lovely though? I give to me alone I trouble give! I may have no mind to lamagnageº the forte bits like the pianage but you can't cadge meº off the key. I've a voicical lilt too true. Nomario! And bemollyº and jiesis! For I sport a whatyoumacormack in the latcher part of my throughersº. And the lark that I let fly (olala!) is as cockful of funantics as it's tune to my fork. |shNaturalesh| you might lower |shregistersh| me as |shdiserecordantº, but I'm athlone in the lillabilling of killarniessh|. That's |shflatsh|. Yet ware the wold, you! What's good for the gorse is a goad for the garden. |shLethals lurk heimlockedº in logans. Loathe laburnums.sh| |shDash the gaudy deathcup.ºsh| |shBryony O'Bryony, thy name is Belladama!sh| But enough of greenwood'sº gossip. |shBirdsnests is birdsnests.sh| Thine to wait but mine to wage. And now play |shsharpsh| to me. |shDoublefirst I'll head foremost through all my examhoopssh|º. And what sensitive coin I'd be possessed of at Latouche's, begor, I'd sink it sumtotal, every
dolly farting, in vestments of subdominal poteen at prime cost and I bait you |shmy chancey oldcoatsh| against the whole ounce you half on your backboard |sh(if madamaud strips mesdamines may cold strafe illglands!)sh| that I'm the gogetter that'd make it pay like cash registers |shas sure as there's a pot onº a polesh|. And, what with one man's fishº and a dozen men'sº poissons, |shsowing my wild plums to reap ripe plentihorns mead, lashings of erboleº and hydromel and braggetsh|,º I'd come out with my magic fluke in close time, fair, free and frolicky, zooming tophole on the mart as a factor. And I tell you the Bective'sº wouldn't hold me. By the unsleeping Solman Annadromusº, ye god of little pescies, nothing would stop me for mony makes multimony like the brogues and the kishes.º Not the Ulster Rifles and the Cork Milice and the Dublin Fusees and Connacht Rangers ensembled!º I'd axe the channon and leip a liffey and drink annyblack water that rann onmeº way. Yip! How's thatsº for scats, mine shatz, for a lovebird? To funk is only peternatural itsº daring feers divine. Bebold! Like Varian'sº balaying all behind me. Andº before you knew where you weren't, I stake my ignitial's divy, cash-and-cash-can-again, I'd be staggering humanity and loyally rolling you over,º my sowwhiteº sponseº, in my tonsº of red clover, nighty nigh to the |shmetronomesh|, fiehigh and fiehigher and fiehighest of all.º |shHoly petter and palsh|, I'd spoil you altogether|sh, my sumptuous Sheila!sh| |shMumm all to do brutº frull up fizzsh| and unpop a few |shshortusianssh|º or |shshake a paleº of sparklingsh| |shicesh|, hearº it swirl, happy girl.º Not a spot of my hide but you'd love to seek and scanagain!º There'd be no standing me, I tell you. And, as gameboy as my pagan name K.C. is what it is, I'd never say let fly till we shot that blissup and swumped each other, manawife, into our sever nevers where I'd plant you, my Gizzygay, on the electric ottoman in the lap ofº lechery, simpringly stitchless with admiracionº among the most uxuriously furnished compartments,º with sybarate chambersº just as I'd run my shoestring into near a million |shor sosh| of them as a firstclass dealer and everything. Only for one thingº that, howover famiksed I would become,º I'd be awful anxious, you understand, about shoepisser pluviousº and in assideration of the terrible
luftsucks woabling around with the hedrolics in the coold amstophere till the bortingº that would perish the Dane and his chapter of accidents to be atramental to the better half of my alltoolyrical health, not considering my capsflap,º and that's the truthº now out of the cackling bagº for truly sure,º for another thing,º I never could tell the leest falsehood that would truthfully give sotisfiction. I'm not talking apple sauce eithou. Or up in my hat. I earnst. Schue!º
Sissibis dearest, as I was reading to myself not very long ago in Tennis Flonnels Mac Courtherº, his correspondanceº, besated upon my tripos, and just thinking like thauthor how long I'd like myself to be continued at Hothelizod, peeking into the focusº and pecking at thumbnail reveries, |shpricking up ears to my phono on the ground and picking up airs from th'other over th'ether,sh| 'tis tramsported with grief I amº this night sublime, as you may see by my size and my brow that's all forehead, to go forth,º frank and hoppy, to the tune the old plow tied off, from our nostorey house,º upon this benedictine errandº but it is historically the most glorious mission, secret or profund, through all the annals ofº our —º as you so often term her —º efferfreshpainted livy, in beautific repose,º upon the silence of the dead, from pharophº the nextfirst down to rameschecklesº the last bustº thing. The Vico road goes round and round to meet where terms begin. Still onappealedº to by the cycles and unappalledºº by the recoursersº we feelº all serene, never you fret, as regards our dutyful cask. Full of my breadth from pride I am (|shbreezedsh| be the healthy same!) for 'tis a grand thing (superb!) to be going to meet a king, not an everynight king, nenni, by gannies,º but the overking of Hither-on-Thither Erin himself, pardee, I'm saying. Before there wasº patch at all on Ireland there lived a lord at Lucan. We only wish everyone was as sure of anything in this watery world as we are of everything in the newlywet fellow that's bound to follow. I'll lay you a guinea for a hayseed now. Tell mother that. And tell her tell her old one. T'willº amuse her.
Well, to the figends of Annanmesesº with the wholeabuelish business! For I declare to Jeshuam I'm beginning to get sunsick.º I'm not half Norawain for nothing. The fine ice so temperate
of our, alas,º thoseº timesº are notº so far off as you might wish to be congealed. So now, I'll ask of you, let ye create no scenes in my poor primmafore's wake. I don't want yous to be billowfighting your biddy moriarty duels, |shgobble gabble,sh| over me till you spit stout, you understand, after soused mackerel, sniffling |shclambake to heringsh| and |shimpudentº barney, braggart of blarneysh|, nor youº ugly lemoncholic gobs o'er the hobs in a sewing circle,º stopping |shoddments in maids' costumes at sweeping reductionssh|º, |shwearing out your ohs by sitting aroundº your ahssh|,º making areekeransyº |shround where I last put itsh|,º with the painters in too, curseº luck, with your rags up|sh, exciting your mucuses,sh| turning breakfartsº into lost soupirs and salon thayº nor youº flabbies on your groaning chairsº over Bollivar's troubles of a bluemoondag,º steaminº your damp ossicles, praying |shHoly Prohibition andsh| Jaun Dyspeptist while Ole Clo goes through the wood with Shep togather, touting in the |shchesnutº burrssh| for Goodboy Sommers and Mistral Blownowse hugs his kindlingsº when voiceyversyº it's my gala bene fit,º robbing leaves out of my taletold book. |shMay my tunc fester if ever I see such a miry lot of maggalenes!sh| Once upon a drunk and a fairly good drunk it was andº the rest of your blatherumskite! Just a plain shays by the fire for absenterº Sh the Po and I'll make ye all an eastern hummingsphere of myself the moment that you name the way. |shLook in the slag scuttle and you'll see me sailspread over the singing, and what do ye want trippings for when you've Paris inspire your hat?sh| Sussumcordials all round, let ye alloyiss and ominies, while I strayº and let ye not be getting grief out of it, though blighted troth be all |shbereftsh|, on my poor headsake, even should we forfeit our life. Lo, improving ages wait ye.º In the orchard of the bones. Some time very presently now when yon clouds are dissipated after their forty yearsº shower, the odds are, we shall all be hooked and happy, communionistically, among the fieldnights eliceamºº élite of the electº in the land of lost of time. Johannisburg's a revelation! Deck the diamants that never die! So cut out the lonesome stuff.º Drink it up, ladies, please, as smart as you can lower it.º |shOut with lent! Clap hands postiliumº! Fastintide is by.sh| Your
sole and myopper must hereupon part company. So |shfor e'ersh|º fare thee welt! Parting's fun.º Take thou, the wringle's thine, love. |shThis dime doth trost thee from mine alms. Goodbye, swisstart, goodbye.sh|º Haugh! Haugh!º Sure, treasures, a letterman does be often thought reading ye between lines that do have no sense at all. I sign myself. With much leg. Inflexibly yours.º Ann Posht the Shorn. To be continued. Huck!
Something of a sidesplitting nature must have occurred to westminstrel Jaunathaun for a grand big blossy hearty stenorious laugh (even Drudge that lay doggo thought feathers fell) hopped out of his |shwoolly'sº throatsh| |shlike a ball lifted over the head of a deep fieldsh|,º at the bare thought of how jolly they'd like to be trolling his whoopº and all of them truetotypes in missammen massness were just starting to spladher splodherº with the jolly magorios, hicky hecky hock, huges huges huges, hughy hughy hughy, O Jaun, so jokable and so geepy, O, |sh(Thouº pure! Our virgin! Thou holy! Our health! Thou strong! Our victory! O salutary! Sustain our firm solitude, thou who thou well strokest! Hear, hairy ones! We have sued thee but late. Beauty parlous.)sh|º º when suddenly (how like a woman!), swifter as mercuryº he wheels right round starnly on the Rizzies suddenly, with his gimlets blazing rather sternish (how black like thunder!), to see what's loose. So they stood still and wondered. Till first he sighed (and how ill soufered!) and they nearly cried (the salt of the earth!) after which he pondered and finally he replied:
— There is some thing moreº. A word apparting and shall the heart's tone be silent. Engagements, I'll beseal you! Fare thee well, fairy well! All I can tell you is this, my sorellies.
It's prayersº in layers all the thumping time,
begor, |shthe young gloria's gang voices the old doxologers,sh|
in the suburrs of the heavenly gardens, once we shall have passed, |shafter surceases, all serene
throughºsh| neck and necklikeº |shDerby and
Junesh|º to our snugº eternal retribution's reward (the scorchhouse). Shunt us! shuntº us!
shuntº us! If you want to be felixed come and be parked. Sacred ease thereº! The seanadº and pobbel queue'sº remainder.
|shTo it, to it! Seekit headup!sh| No petty family squabbles Up
Thereº nor homemade
hurricanes in our Cohortyard, no cupahurling nor apuckalips |shnor no puncheon jodellingsh| nor no nothing. With the Byrns which is far better and eve for ever your idle be. |shYou will hardly reconnoitreº the old wife in the new bustle and the farmer shinner in his latterday paint. It's the fulldress Toussaint's wakeswalks experdition after a bail motion from the chamber of horrus. Saffron buns,º or sovran bonhams whichever you'rº avider to like it and lump it, but give it a name.sh| Ierenyº allover irelandsº. |shAnd there's food for refection when the whole flock'sº at home.sh| Hogmanny di'yegutº? Hogmanny di'yesmellygutº? And hogmanny di'yesmellyspatterygutº? You take Joe Hanny's tip for it.º Postmartemº is the goods. With Jollification a tight second. Toborrow and toburrowº and tobarrow!º That's our crass, hairy and evergrim life,º |shtill one finel howdiedow Bouncer Naster raps on the bell with a bone and his stinkers stankº behind him with the sceptre and the hourglasssh|. We may come, touch and go, from atoms and ifsº but we're presurely destined to be odd's without ends. Here we moult in Moy Kain and flop on the seemy side,º living sure of hardly a doorstep for a stopgap, with Whogoesthere and a live sandbag round the corner.º But upmeyant Prospectorº you sprout all your abel and woof your wings deadº certain however of neuthing whatever to aye foreverº while Hyam Hyam'sº in the chair. Ah, sure, pleasantries aside, in the tail of the cow what a humpty daumº earth looks our miseryme heretoday as compared beside the Hereweareagain Gaieties of the Afterpiece when the Royal Revolver of theseº real globoes lets regally fire of his mio colpo for the chrisman's pandemonº to give over and the Harlequinade to begin properly SPQueaRkingº Mark Time's Finist Joke. Putting Allspace in a Notshall.º
Well,º the |shslice and vegsh| joint's well in its way,º and so is a
|shribroastsh| and jackknife |shas
sporten dishsh|º, but home cooking everytimeº. Mountainsº
good mustard and, with the helpings of |shladies' lickfingsº and gentlemen's
relish,sh| I've eaten a griddle. But I fill twice as stewhard what I felt before when I'm after eating a few natives.
|shThe crisp of the crackling is in the chawing.sh| |shGive us
anotherº cup of your scald.º Santos Mozos! That was a damn good
cup of scald!ºsh| You could trot a mouse on it. I ingoyed your pick of hissing hot luncheon fine, I did,º thanks awfully,º (sublime!). Tenderestº bully ever I ate with the boiled protestants (allinoiliaº allinoilia!) only for your peas again was a taste tooth psalty |shto carrysh| flavour with my godown and hereby return with my best savioury condiments and a penny in the plate for the jemes. |shO.K. Oh Kosmos! Ah Ireland! A.I.sh| And for kailkannonkabbis gimme Cincinnatis with Italian (but ci vuol poco!) ciccalick cheese,º |shHaggis good, haggis strong, haggis never say die.ºsh| For quid we have recipimus, recipe, O lout! And save that, Oliviero, for thy sunny day! Soupmeagre! Couldn't look at it! But if you'll buy me yon coat of the vairy furry best,º I'll try and pullll it awn mee.º It's in fairly good order and no doubt 'twill sarve to turn.º Remove this boardcloth! Next stage, tell the tabler, for a variety of |shHuguenot ligoomssh| I'll try my set on edgesº grapeling an aigrydoucks, grilled over birchenrods, with a few bloomancowls in albies. I want to get outside monasticism. Mass and meat mar no man's journey. Eat a missal lest. |shNuts for the nerves, a flitch for the flue and for to rejoice the chambers of the heart the spirits of the spice isles, curry and cinnamonº chutney and cloves.sh| All the vitalmines is beginning to sozzle in chewn |shand the hormonies to clingleclanglesh|, fudgem, kates and eapsº and naboc and erics and oinnos on kingclud and xoxxoxo and xooxox xxoxoxxoxxx till I'm fustfed like fungstif and very presently from now posthaste it's off yourllº see me ryuoll on my usual rounds again to draw Terminus Lower and Killadown and Letternoosh, Letterspeak, Lettermuck to Littorananima and the roomiest house even in Ireland, ifº you can understamp that,º and my next item's platform it's how I'll try and collect my extraprofessional postages owing to me by Thaddeusº Kellyesque Squire, dr, forº nondesirable printed matter. The |shJooks and the Kelly-Cookssh| have been milking turnkeys and sucking the blood out of the marshalseaº since the act of First Offenders. But I know what I'll do. Great pains off him I'll take and that'll be your redletterday calendar, window machree.º I'll knock it out of him! I'll stump it out of him! I'll rattattatter it out of him before I'll quit the doorstep of
old Con Connolly's residence! By the horn of twenty of both of the two Saint Collopys, blackmail him I will in arrears or my name's not penitent Ferdinand! And it's daily and hourly I'll nurse him till he pays me fine fee. Ameal.
Well,º here's looking at ye! If I never leave you biddies till my stave is a barº I'd be tempted rigidly to become a passionate father. Me hunger's weighed. Hungkung! Me anger's suaged! Hangkang! Ye can stop as ye are, little lay mothers, and wait in wish and wish in vain till the grame reaper draws nigh, with the sickle of the sickles, as a blessing in disguise. Devil a curly hair I care! If any lightfoot Clod Dewvale was toº hold me upº dicksturping me and marauding me of my rights to my onus,º yan, tyan, tethera, methera, pimp, I'd let him haveº my best pair of galloper's heels in theº creamsourer. He will have better mannersº I'm dished if he won't!º Console yourself, drawhure deelish! There's a refond of eggsized coming to you out of me so mind you do me duty on me! |shBruise your bulge below the belt till I blewblack beside you.sh| And you'll miss me more as the narrowing weeks wing by. Somedayº duly,º onedayº truly, twosdayº newly, till whensdayº. Look for me always at my west and I will think to dine. A tear or two in time is all there's toot. And then in a click of the clock, toot toot, and doff doff we pop with sinnerettes in silkettes lining longroutes for His Diligence Majesty, our longdistance laird that likes creation. To whoosh!
— Meesh, meesh, yesº, pet.º
|shWe were too happy. I knew something would happen.sh| I understandº but
listen, drawher nearest, Tizzy intercepted, flushing but flashing from her dove and dart
eyes as she tactilifully grapbedº her male corrispondee to flustherº sweet
nunsongs in his quickturned ear,º I know, benjamin brother,º butº listen, I want, girls
palmassing, to whisper my whish. (Sheº like them like us, me and you, had thoud he n'er it would haltin so lithe when leased is tacitempust tongue).º Of course, engine dear,
I'm ashamed for my life (I must clear my |shthrottlesh|) over this lost moment's gift
of memento nosepaper which I'm sorry, my precious, is allathome I with grief can call my
own but all the same, listen, Jaunick, accept this witwee's mite, though a jennyteeny
witweenº piece torn in one placeº from my hands in second place of a linenhall valentino with my fondest and much left to tutor. X.X.X.X. It was heavily bulledictedº forº young Fr Ml, myº pettest parriageº priest, and you know who between us by your friend the pope, forty ways in forty nights, |shthat's the beauty of itsh|, look, scene it, ratty. |shToo perfectly priceless for wordssh|. And, listen, now do enhance me, oblige my fiancyº and bear it with you morn till life's e'en and, of course, when never you make usage of it, listen, please kindly think galwaysº again or again, never forget, of one |shabsendeesh|º not sester Maggy. |shAhim. That's the stupidest little cough.sh| |shOnly be sure you don't catch your cold and pass it on to us.sh| And, since levret bounds and larks is soaring, |shdon't be all the nightsh|. And this, Joke, a sprig of blue speedwellº just a spell of floralora so you'll mind your veronique. Of course, Jer, I know you know who sends it, |shpresents that pleasesh|, mercy, on the face of the waters like that film obote, awfly charmig of course, but it doesn't do her justice, |shapart from her cattinesssh|,º in the magginbottle.º º Of course, please too write, won't you, |shand leave your little bag of doubtssh|º, |shinquisitivesh|, |shbehind yoush|º unto your |shutterly thinesh|,º and, thank you, forward it back by return pigeon's pneu |shto the lovingsh| in case I couldn't think who it was or any funforall happens I'll be so curiose to see in the Homesworth breakfast tablottsº as I'll know etherways by pity bleu if it's good for my system,º what exquisite buttons, gorgiose,º in case I don't hope to soonº hear from you. |shAnd thanks ever so many for the ten and the one with nothing at all on.sh| |shI will tie a knot inº my stringamejipsh| to |shletter you with my silky papersh|,º as I am givenº now to understand it will be worth my price in money one day soº don't trouble to ans unless sentbyº special as I am getting his pay and wants for nothing so I can live simply and solely for my wonderful kinkless and its loops of loveliness. |shWhen I throw away my rollets there's rings for all.sh| Fleeº a girlº says it is her colour. So does B and L and as for V! And listen to it! Cheveluir!º |shSo distantsh| you're always. Bow your boche! Absolutely perfect! I will pack my comb and mirror to praxisº oval owes and artless awes and it will follow you pulpicly
as far as come back under all my eyes like my sapphire chaplets of ringarosary I will say for you to the Allmichael and solve qui puº while the dovedoves pick my mouthbuds (msch! msch!) with nurse Madge, |shmysh| linkingclass |shgirl,sh| she's a fright, poor old dutch,º in her sleeptalking |shwhen I paint the measles on hersh| and |shmudstuskers to make her a man. We. We. Issy donesh| |shthatsh|, |shI confesh.ºsh| But you'll love her for her hessiansº andº sickly black stockies,º |shcleryng's jumbles, salvadged from thesh| |shwashsh|,º |shisn'tº it the cat's tonsils!sh| Simply killing, how she |shtidies her hairsh|! I call her Sosy because she's sosiety for me and she says sossy while I say sassy and she says will you have some more scorns while I say won't you take a few more schools and she talks about ithel dear while I simply never talk about athel darlingº she's butº nice |shfor enticing my friendssh| and |shshe loves your stylesh|º considering she breaksinº me shoes for me when I've arch troubleº and she would kiss my white arms for me so gratefully but apart from that she's terribly nice really, my sisterº, round the elbow of Erne streetº Lowerº andº I'll be strictly forbidden always and true in my own way and private where I will long long to betrue you along with one who will so betrue you that not once while Iº betreu him not once wellº he be betray himself. |shCan't you understand?sh|º |shO bothersh|, |shI must tell the trouthsh|! |shMy latest lad's loveliletter I am sore I done something with.sh| |shI like him lots coss he never cusses. Pity bonhom. Pip pet.sh| |shI shouldn't say he's prettysh| but |shI'm cocksure he's shy. Why I love taking him out when I unletched his cordon gate. Ope, Jack, and atem! Obealbe myodorersº and he dote so. He fell for my lips, for my lisp, for my lewd speaker. I felt for his strength, his manhood, his doº you mind?sh| |shThere can be no candle to hold to it, can there?sh| And, of course, dear professor,º |shI understand.sh| You can trust me that though I change thy name though not the letter never while I become engaged with my first horsepower, |shmasterthief of heartssh|, I will give your lovely face of mine away, |shmy boyish bob,sh| not for |shtons of donkeyssh|, to my second mate, with the twirlersº the engineerº of the passioflowerº (Oº the wicked untruth! whotº a tell! thatº he has bought
me in his wellingtons what you haven't got!),º in one of those pure clean lupstucks of yours thankfully, Arrah of the passkeys,º no matter whatº. |shYou may beº certain of that, fluffsh|, |shnow I know how to tacklesh|. Lock |shmy mearestº next myselfsh|. So don't keep me now for a good boy for the love of |shmy fragrant saintsh|,º you villain, peppering with fear, my goodless graceless, or I'll first murder youº butº, hvisperº, meet me after by next appointment near you know Ships just there beside the Ship at the future poor fool's circuts of lovemountjoy square to show my disrespectsº nowº, let me just your caroline for you, I must really so late. Sweet pigº, he'll be furious! |shHow he stalks to simselfsh| |shloutherº and loversh|, |shimmutating aperybally.sh| My prince of the courts who'll beat me to love! And I'll be there when who knows where with the objects of which I'll knowor forget. We say. Trust us. Our game. |sh(For fun!)sh| The Dargle shall run dry the sooner Iº you deny.ººº Whoevery heard of such a thinkº? Till the ulmost of all elmoes shall stele our hartsº asthone! And Mrs A'Mara makes it up and befriends with Mrs O'Morum!º |shI will write down all your names in my gold pen and ink.sh| Everyday, precious, while m'm'ry's leaves are falling deeply on my Jungfraud's Messongebookº I will dream telepath posts dulcets on this isinglass stream (but don't tell him or I'll be the mort of him!) under the libans and the sickamours, the cyprissis and babilonias,º where the frondoak rushes to the askº and the yewleaves too kisskiss themselvesº and 'twill carry on my hearz'wavesº my still watersº reflections in words over Margrate von Hungaria, her Quaidy ways and her Flavin hair, to thee, Jack, ahoy,º beyond the boysforus. |shSplesh of hiss splash springs your salmon. Twick twick,º twinkle twings my twilightsh| as |shSarterdayº afternoonº lex leap will smile on my fourinhanced twelvemonthsmindsh|. And what's this I was going to say, dean? O, I understand.º Listen, hereº I'll wait on theeº tillº Thingavalla with beautiful do be carefulº teacakes, more stuesser flavoured than Vanillaº and blackcurrant there's a cure in, like a born gentleman till you'll resemble me, all the time you're awhile way,º I swear to you, I will, by Candlemas! Andº listen, joey, |shdon't be ennoyed with me,sh| my old evernew, when, by the
end of your chapter,º you citch water on the wagon for me being turned a star I'll dubeurry my two fesces under Pouts Vanisha Creme, their way for spilling cream,º and, accent, umto extend my personnalitey to the latents,º I'll boy me for myself only of expensive rainproof of pinked elephant's breathº grey ofº the loveliest sheerest,º dearest,º widowshood over airforce blue I am so wild for, my precious once, |shHope Bros.,º Faith Street, Charity Corner,sh| as the bee loves her skyhighdeedº |sh, for I always had a crush on heliotrope since the dusess of yore cycled round the Finest Park,sh| andº listen.º And never mind me laughing at what's atever!º I was in the nerves |shbut it's my last daysh|. Always about this hour, I'm sorry,º when |shour gamings for Bruin and Noselongsh| is all oh you tease and afterdoon my lickle pussiness I stheal heimlick in my russians from the attraction partº with my terriblitall bootsº calvescatcher Pinchapoppapoff,º |shwho is goingº to be a jennyrollsh|,º at my nape, drenched, love, with drippingº to affectionate slapmamma but last at night, look, after my golden violents wetting in my upperstairs splendidly welluminated with such lidlylac curtains wallpapered to match the cat and a firepleaseº keep lookingº of priceless pearlogsIº just want to see will he or are all Michalesº like that,º I'll strip straight after devotions before his fondstare — and I mean it too, (thyº gape to my gazing I'll bind and makeleash)º and poke stiff under my isonbound with my soiedisante chineknees cheeckchubby chambermate for the night's foreign males and your name of Shane will come forth between my shamefaced whesen with other lipth I nakest open my thightº when just woken by his toccatootletoo my first morning. So now, to thalk thildish, thome, theated with Mag at the oilthan we are doing to thay one little player before doing to deed. Anº a tiss to the tassieº for lu and for tu! Coach me how to tumble, Jaime, andº listen, |shwith supreme regards,sh| Juan, in haste, warn me which to ah ah ah ah.º …