Fair copy, January 1925 and Spring 1926, §3B draft level 3, 3+

MS British Library 47484a 27-34 Draft details

— Sirº, to you!º I am bubub brought up under a camel act of a dynasty long sinceº out of print, the first of Sitric Silkenbeard, but I am known throughout the world whereverº a good English is spoken|3, as asº this is,º3| by saint and sinner alike as a cleanliving man and as a matter of fact I think how our public at large appreciates it most highly from me that I am as cleanliving as could be and that my game was a fair average since I perpetually kept my ouija ouija wicket up. I never was nor can afford to be guilty of breach,º crimº con,º or trespassº on the person with a youthful girl frifrif friend named Apples as it would prove far too |3bad baad3| to my reputation |3being lightly clad3| and as a mere matter of fact I popo possess the sweetest little wife round the globe on which she walked off with the consolation prize in the serial dream of fairº |3women's woman3| handicapped by two breasts in opera tops.º I kickick keenly love
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,º particularlyº served with heliotrope eyelips|3, as this is,º3| where I drench my jolly soul on theº pupureº beautyº of hers past.

She is my best preserved wife |3in God's eye and3| our private chaplain, an always sadfaced man, who has visited our various hard hearts and reins by imposition of fufuf fingersº, can speak loud to you some quite complimentary things about my clean characteractingº even in the dark, painful though such recital prove to me,º |3as this is,º3| when I introducedº her to our fourposter singing in our |3altogether3| homesweetened gloom |3there is no such places like Norway there is no such places like Norwage3|. By whom, asº you all know as a matter of pure fact, dear humans, of a childº one of the ambitions of my yougendº from an early peepee period |3intended for the church3| Iº was confirmed in bed by our |3bujibuji3| beloved curate-author.º Michael Angel is your man. Let Michael tell you people here in his clairaudience,º |3as this is,º3| as only our own Michael can to bring ruptures to our oars how I am amp amplify Guinness's Ornery fortninehalf.º Shaun Shemsen saywhen saywhen.º Livpoomark lloyrge hoggs one four tupps noying.º Sorry! Thnkyou!
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Callº it off!º Godnat, vrybolly!º Abbreciades York gustoms. Kyow!º Tak!º It is truly most amusin. There is not one teaspoonspill of evidence to myº |3bad baad |aas you shall see,º as thisº is,ºa|3| and Iº can take off my coats here before those in heaven to enter intoº my protestant Caveatº against the pupup publication of libel by any Ticks Tipsylon toº that highest personage at moments holding down the throne. Shames upon pipip Private M—!º Shames on his foulsomenessº! Shames on his lulul lying sowel! And to my lot it fell when I presented to Hisº Mamº to Hisº Mamamº His Maggerstickº the keys of our city on his pricelist chargerº with my |3greetings words |aalbums words allbum'sº wordsa|3|:º Hearty Congrandyoulikethems,º Excellency!º

Whosaw dares at |v+3attack handgripperv+|3| thisa breast? The Adversary. First liar inº landend. Man sicker at I are |v+3bluffet konserfateve! bluffitº konservateveº?v+|3| Shucks! Such bughouse filth |v+3as sov+|3| I cannot barely conceive of! The brokenhearted villain!º Hole affair is rotten |v+3pigs' pig'sv+|3| draff!º

|3⇒ — Is that you, Whiteheadº?

— Have you Headnoise now?

— Give us |v+a yourv+| muddy reception, will |v+you yousv+|?

— Pass the fish for Christ'º sake!3|

|3⇒ Oldº Whitehowth is speaking again. Pity poor |v+Whitehowth Whiteoathºv+|! Dear gone mumumº mummeries, goby! Tell the woyld I have |v+lived livetºv+| true thousand hells. Nine dirty years |amine agea|, hairs white, mummeryº failing, deaf as Adder,º I |v+ask asktv+| you|a, dear lady,a| to judge |v+onv+| my tree by our fruits. |xI gave you of |amy thea| tree. I gave two smells, two eats.º My happybossomsº, my allfalling fruits of my |+Boom boom+|. Pity poor |aHas |bHave |cHath Havethc|b|a| |aChildren |v+Childereen |aChildren |bChildereen Childrenb|a|v+|a| Everywhere with |aMudder. Mudder!a|x|3|

|3That was Communicatorº |a, a former colonel a|.º Heº
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has |ahada| some |v+indigestion indiegestingsv+|, poor thing, but to make light for quite a little while. |a|bPoor Felix |v+Culiper Culaperºv+|!b| |v+His Itsv+| voice is still flutish and |v+his itsv+| mounth still wears its soldierº scarlet though the hairs, alas,º are peppered with silver. It is because of what he was sent into |v+prison prisonsv+| on account of.a| Hence his depressed words.º It looks like somebody else bearing my burden. I can't let it. |v+Cans nikt. Cans note.

|3Well, sir,3| |3Give give3| me even |3|v+myºv+|3| two months in second divisionº and I will see if it does not occur again. I |3am here to tell you , peeples, |v+Iv+|3| will pay the |3pretty decent3| trade price,º |3|v+peeples peeblesv+|,3| were it even|3|v+, as it is,ºv+|3| the legal eric |3for infelicitous conduct3| and, as a matter of fact,º I undertakeº to discontinue all practices
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and I deny at my own request in all stoutness to have confederated and agreed to buy a niggeress whichº wouldº |v+3be seemv+|3| eggseggs excessively harroweenº to my feelimbs,º forº eight punt scotch. Soº help me Cash!º

|3|aThe idea Her bare idea|v+, itºv+|a| is too chucklesome.º |aThe |v+twin twov+| cherrypickers Lizzy and Lissyº Mycockº I would not know them |bin my wayb| from Adam or any heiresses of theirs,º claiming by, through,º or under them.a| |aHear this!ºa| I will stand me |aupon |bbeside hard byb|a| |athe our mosta| monolith,º and |v+publicv+| testify to my virtus by the longstone erection of our |v+first allfirstv+| manhere.3| Honestly|3,º on my honour of a Nearwicked,º3| I always think as my best policy I have had my lessonº and do you know, homesters,º I honestly think I have made good. I abhorº myself truth to tell, and do repent meº of sundry. The |3amusing amusin3| part is,º I will say that sinceº I ran a selection here where my toils of domestication first began famine has |3wellnigh3| receded fromº |3the land this landleagueº of many nations3|.º
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º Idleº were it to inquire whether I be the mass product of team work or a forced outcome of groupº |3marriage marriages3| for,º surrounded by obscurity, Iº |3claim pretendº3| byº virtue of creation and by boon of promiseº my naturalbornº freeman's rightº toº opt for simultaneous. Amen. Verily verily.

— What is your numb? |3One. Bun!º3|

Who gave you that numb? |3Two. Poo!º3|

— Have you put in all your spare penniesº? |3Three. Sree!º3|

— Keep clear of propennies!º I'm listening. |3Four. Kore!º3|

|3Invisibleº friends!º3| I maymay mean to say had myº faithful Fulvia, followingº the fashion of this world, turned her back on her ways to goº on the hills in search of brunette men of Iraland, Chief Nightcloud by the Deeps and Chief |3Blackwater Goes-in-Blackwater3| and Chief Northpaw,º or had she left her crookcrook crocus bed at the bare suggestions of some fisherfolk
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who wouldº have abused of her there might accrue advantage to ask. Yet know of oldº it was vastly otherwise asº I heartily |3blank aver3|,º for she ever did ensue the |3thing things3| that pertained unto fairnessº. Even so, O Lord.

Butº Iº was firm with her. Andº I did take the hand of my delights, my jealousy, and did raft her riverworthily and did lead herº overland the pace, whimpering by |3Gardiner's Mall and Gormanstown |v+Gardiner's Mall and Kevin's port Kevin's portº and Gardiner's Mallv+|3| to Ringsend Ferry
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:º and there |3by I bade |v+didv+| I |aarose uplifta| my |amagicianer'sa| puntpole and I bade3| the pollyfizzyboisterousº seas |3|ato retire |bhimself with himselvesb| from |bus osºb| |b(rookwardsº, thou |cseaseac| stammerer!)b| and I abridged her maiden race, and my baresark bride,a| |v+I andv+| knew her fleshly and |ahad delight of her |v+had castv+| my |bten man's tenspanb| joys ona| her and by dint of strongbow,º |a|v+and so strongv+| we were |v+inv+| one,º malestream and shegulf:ºa| and3| I thumbringed and tradesmanmarked |3her |v+minev+|3|
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and Iº chained a name andº wedlock |3round her3| the which to carry till her grave, my dirty deary:º and I didº encompass her about, my |3verminbreeder vermincelly |+vinegarette+|3|,º with all loving kindnessº as far as in |v+3my man'sv+|3| might it lay |3andº enfranchised her to liberties of fringes:º3| and I gave unto my lilienyounger turkeythighs soft goods and hardware and fineº ladderproof hosiery lines and potted fleshmeats and pennigsworthsº of the best ofº taste of geegawsº |3and wispy frocks3| suchº as women cattleº wear and all daintinessº by teatime:º and I hung up my pigmy suns for the supperhour of my frigidº one from the topazolites of Mourne by Arklow's sapphire seamanslure and Waterford's hook and crook lights to the polders of Hy Kinsella:º
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and I fed her, my carleen, my little lean steer, upon spiceries for her garbage breath, italics of knobbyleek and swinespepper and gothakrautsº:º and to my saffronbreathing mongoloid I gave powlver and gentle oils for the swarthy face |v+3of onv+|3| her andº handewers and loinscrubbers and a currycomb |3for to teaseº3| her tuzzyº |3|v+out v+|3| and clubmoss and wolvesfoot for her more moister wards:º and I |v+3devised did devisev+|3| my prizelessº telltale sports atº evenbread to wring her withers limberly, bray and spinado and ranter-go-round:º andº I built for mine elskede, my shiny |3brow brows3|, an earthcloset wherewithin to be quit in most convenienceº from her sabbathº needs: and I did |3reform and3| restore for my smuggy |3piggiesnees piggiesknees her3| paddypalace on the crossknoll and Iº added thereunto a shallow laver to put out her hellfire |3and posied windows for her oriel house3| and she |3sat her down sass her nach3|, |3chillybombom and3| forty bonnets, upon the |3altarstone, altarstane,3| may all have |3mercy on her mossyhonours3|!

— Hoke!

— Hoke!

— Hoke!

— Hoke!

Andº |3rain or shower or drizzle or sleet hail or rain or drizzle or sleet3|,º I did learn my little annaº countrymouse in alphabeater cameltemper,º from |3ashenbirch to hazelyou alderbirch to tannenyou3|,º withº my rattan at her drum ooah oyir oyir oyir:º and Iº did spread before my Livvy my selvage mats of softest lawn: and I planted for my own hot lass a vineyardº and I fenced it about with Chesterfield elms and Kentish hopsº againstº budmonthº and gleanermonthº: and (hush! hush!) I brewed for my alpine plurabelle |3(speakeasy!)3| my brandold Dublin lindub, the free, the froh, the |3foamy frothy3| freshener, theº pusspussº pussyfoot, to split the spleen of her maw: and I laid down before the trotters ofº my eblanite my stonybatteredº waggonways
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whereon the mule and the hinny and the jennet and the mustard nag and piebald Shetlands and skewbald Orkneys stepped lively for her pleashadure and she laughed at the switchering of the whip.

— Mattahah!º Marahah! Luahah! |3Joahah! |aJoahanahana! Joahah Joahanahana!a|3|