Deshil Holles Eamus. Deshil Holles Eamus. Deshil Holles Eamus.
Send us, bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us, bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us, bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit.
person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive concerning
are being held as most
profitably by mortals
endowed to be studied who is ignorant of that which the most
erudite and certainly by reason of
that in them high
deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general consent they affirm
that other circumstances being equal by no exterior splendour is the prosperity
of a nation more efficaciously asserted than by the measure of
how far forward
may have progressed the tribute of its solicitude for that
continuance which of
evils the original if it be absent when fortunately present constitutes the
certain sign of omnipollent nature's incorrupted
who is there who
anything of some
significance has apprehended but is conscious that that exterior
splendour may be
the surface of a downwardtending
or on the contrary anyone so is there
unilluminatedº as not to perceive that as
boon can contend
against the bounty of increase so
it behoves every
most just citizen to become the exhortator and admonisher of his semblables and
to tremble lest what
had in the past been by the nation excellently commenced might be in the future
not with similar excellence accomplished if an inverecund habit shall have gradually traduced the honourable by ancestors transmitted customs to that thither of profundity that that one was audacious excessively who would have the hardihood to rise affirming that no more odious offence can for anyone be than to oblivious neglect to consign that evangel simultaneously command and promise which on all mortals with prophecy of abundance or with diminution's menace that exalted of reiteratedly procreating function ever irrevocably enjoined?
It is not why therefore we shall wonder if, as the best historians relate, among the Celts, who nothing that was not in its nature admirable admired,º the art of medicine shall have been highly honoured. Not to speak of hostels, leperyards, sweating chambers, plaguegraves, their greatest doctors, the O'Shiels, the O'Hickeys, the O'Lees, have sedulously set down the divers methods by which the sick and the relapsed found again health whether the malady had been the trembling withering or loose boyconnell flux. Certainly in every public work which in it anything of gravity contains preparation should be with importance commensurate and therefore a plan was by them adopted (whether by having preconsidered or as the maturation of experience it is difficult in being said which the discrepant opinions of subsequent inquirers are not up to the present congrued to render manifest) whereby maternity was so far from all accident possibility removed that whatever care the patient in that allhardest of woman hour chiefly required and not solely for the copiously opulent but also for her who not being sufficiently moneyed scarcely and often not even scarcely could subsist valiantly and for an inconsiderable emolument was provided.
To her nothing
already then and thenceforward was anyway able to be molestful for
this chiefly felt all
citizens except with
at all not to can
be and as they had
received eternity gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when
the case was so having
in vehicle thereward
all one another
was impelling on of
her to be
received into that
thing of prudent
nation not merely in being seen
but also even in being related worthy of being praised that they her by anticipation went seeing mother, that she by them suddenly to be about to be cherished had been begun she felt!
Before born babe bliss had. Within womb won he worship. Whatever in that one case done commodiously done was. A couch by midwives attended with wholesome food reposeful cleanest swaddles as though forthbringing were now done and by wise foresight set: but to this no less of what drugs there is need and surgical implements which are pertaining to her case not omitting aspect of all very distracting spectacles in various latitudes by our terrestrial orb offered together with images, divine and human, the cogitation of which by sejunct females is to tumescence conducive or eases issue in the high sunbright wellbuilt fair home of mothers when, ostensibly far gone and reproductitiveº, it is come by her thereto to lie in, her term up.
Some man that wayfaring was stood by housedoor at night's oncoming. Of Israel's folk was that man that on earth wandering far had fared. Stark ruth of man his errand that him loneº led till that house.
Of that house A. Horne is lord. Seventy beds keeps he thereº teeming mothers are wont that they lie for to thole and bring forth bairns hale so God's angel to Mary quoth. Watchers tweyº there walk, white sisters in ward sleepless. Smarts they still,º sickness soothing: in twelve moons thrice an hundred. Truest bedthanes they twain are, for Horne holding wariest ward.
In ward wary the watcher hearing come that man mildhearted eft rising with swire ywimpled to him her gate wide undid. Lo, levin leaping lightens in eyeblink Ireland's westward welkin! Full she dreadº that God the Wreaker all mankind would fordo with water for his evil sins. Christ's rood made she on breastbone and him drew that he would rathe infare under her thatch. That man her will wotting worthful went in Horne's house.
Loth to irk in Horne's hall
hat holding the
seeker stood. On her stow he ere was living with dear wife and
that then over land and seafloor nine years had long outwandered. Once her in
meeting he to her bow had not doffed. Her to forgive now
he craved with good ground of her allowed that that of him swiftseen face, hers, so young then had looked. Light swift her eyes kindled, bloom of blushes his word winning.
As her eyes then ongot his weeds swart therefor sorrow she feared. Glad after she was that ere adread was. Her he asked if O'Hare Doctor tidings sent from far coast and she with grameful sigh him answered that O'Hare Doctor in heaven was. Sad was the man that word to hear that him so heavied in bowels ruthful. All she there told him,º ruing death for friend so young, algate sore unwilling God's rightwiseness to withsay. She said that he had a fair sweet death through God His goodness with masspriest to be shriven, holy housel and sick men's oil to his limbs. The man then right earnest asked the nun of which death the deadº man was died and the nun answered him and said that he was died in Mona island through bellycrab three year agone come Childermas and she prayed to God the Allruthful to have his dear soul in his undeathliness. He heard her sad words,º in held hat sad staring. So stood they there both awhile in wanhope, sorrowing one with other.
Therefore, everyman, look to that last end thatº is thy death and the dust that gripeth on every man that is born of woman for as he came naked forth fromº his mother'sº womb so naked shall he wend him at the last for to go as he came.
The man that was come intoº the house then spoke to the nursingwoman and he asked her how it fared with the woman that lay there in childbed. The nursingwoman answered him and said that that woman was in throes now full three days and that it would be a hard birth unneth to bear but that now in a little it would be. She said thereto that she had seen many births of women but never was none so hard as was that woman's birth. Then she set it forth allº to him that time was had lived nigh thatº house. The man hearkened to her words for he felt with wonder women's woe in the travail that they have of motherhood and he wondered to look on her face that was a youngº face for any man to see but yet was she left after long years a handmaid. Nine twelve bloodflows chiding her childless.
spake the door of the castle was opened and there
nighed them a mickle noise as of many that sat there at meat. And there came against the place as they stood a young learning knight yclept Dixon. And the traveller Leopold was couth to him sithen it had happed that they had had ado each with other in the house of misericordº where this learning knight lay by cause the traveller Leopold came there to be healed for he was sore wounded in his breast by a spear wherewith a horrible and dreadful dragon was smitten him for which he did do make a salve of volatile salt and chrism as much as he might suffice. And he said now thatº he should go into that castle for to make merry with them that were there. And the traveller Leopold said that he should go otherwhither for he was a man of cautels and a subtileº. Also the lady was of his avis and reprevedº the learning knight though she trowed well that the traveller had said thing that was false for his subtility. But the learning knight would not hear say nay nor do her mandement ne have him in aught contrarious to his list and he said how it was a marvellous castle. And the traveller Leopold went into the castle for to rest him for a space being sore of limb after many marches environing in divers lands and sometimeº venery.
And in the
castle was set a board that was of the birchwood of Finlandy and it was upheld
by four dwarfmen of that country but they durst not move more for enchantment.
And on this
board were frightful swords and knives that are made in a great cavern by
out of white flames that they fix in the horns of buffalos and stags that there
And there were
vessels that are wrought by magic of
Mahound out of
seasand and the air by a warlock with his breath that he
intoº them like to bubbles.
full fair cheer and
rich was on the board
could devise a
fuller ne richer.
And there was a
vat of silver that
was moved by
craft to open in
the which lay
though misbelieving men nie
that this be
without they see
natheless they are so.
And these fishes
lie in an oily
water brought there from Portugal land because of the
fatness that therein
is like to the juices of the olive press.
And also it was
a marvel to see in that castle how by magic they make a compost out of
fecund wheat kidneys out of Chaldee that
by aid of certain angry spirits that they do into it swells up wondrously like to a vast mountainº. And they teach the serpents there to entwine themselves up on long sticks out of the ground and of the scales of these serpents they brew out a brewage like to mead.
And the learning knight let pour for childe Leopold a draught and halp thereto the while all they that were there drank every each. And childe Leopold did up his beaver for to pleasure him and took apertly somewhat in amity for he never drank no manner of mead which he then put by and anon full privily he voided the more part in his neighbour glass and his neighbour nist not of his wile. And he sat down in that castle with them for to rest him there awhile. Thanked be Almighty God.
This meanwhile this good sister stood by the door and begged them at the reverence of Jesu our alther liege Lordº to leave their wassailing for there was above one quick with child,º a gentle dame, whose time hied fast. Sir Leopold heard on the upfloor cry on high and he wondered what cry that it was whether of child or woman and I marvel, said he, that it be not come or now. Meseems it dureth overlong. And he was ware and saw a franklin that hight Lenehan on that side the table that was older than any of the tother and for that they both were knights virtuousº in the one emprise and eke by cause that he was elder he spoke to him fullyº gently. But, said he, or it be long too she will bring forth by God His bounty and have joy of her childing for she hath waited marvellous long. And the franklin that had drunken said, Expecting each moment to be her next. Also he took the cup that stood tofore him for him needed never none asking nor desiring of him to drink and, Now drink, said he, fully delectably, and he quaffed as far as he might to their both's health for he was a passing good man of his lustiness. And sir Leopold that was the goodliest guest that ever sat in scholars' hall and that was the meekest man and the kindest that ever laid husbandly hand under hen and that was the very truest knight of the world one that ever did minion service to lady gentle pledged him courtly in the cup. Woman's woe with wonder pondering.
Now let us speak
of that fellowship that was there to the intent
to be drunken an they might. There was a sort of scholars along either side the board, that is to wit, Dixon yclept junior of saint Mary Merciable's with other his fellows Lynch and Madden, scholars of medicine, and the franklin that hight Lenehan and one from Alba Longa, one Crotthers, and young Stephen that had mien of a frere that was at head of the board and Costello that men clepen Punch Costello all long of a mastery of him erewhile gested (and of all them, reserved young Stephen, he was the most drunken that demanded still of more mead) and beside the meek sir Leopold. But on young Malachi they waited for that he promised to have come and such as intended to no goodness said how he had broke his avow. And sir Leopold sat with them for he bore fast friendship to sir Simon and to this his son young Stephen and for that his languorº becalmed him there after longest wanderings insomuch as they feasted him for that time in the honourablest manner. Ruth red him, love led on with will to wander,º lothº to leave.
For they were right
And he heard their aresouns
each gen other
birth and righteousness, young Madden
put such case it
were hard the wife to die (for so it had fallen out
a matter of some year
agone with a woman of Eblana in Horne's house that now
was trespassed out
of this world and
the self night next
before her death all leeches and
taken counsel of her case).
And they said
farther she should live because in the beginning they said
theº woman should bring forth in pain and
wherefore they that were
affirmed how young
Madden had said truth for he
had conscience to let
her die. And not few and of these was young Lynch
were in doubt that
the world was now
governed as it
was never other
the mean people
believed it otherwise
but the law nor his
judges did provide no remedy.
A redress God
grant. This was
scant said but
all cried with one
acclaim nay, by
our Virgin Mother, the wife should live and the babe to die.
whereof they waxed hot upon that head
what with argument
and what for their drinking but the franklin Lenehan was prompt
each when to pour
them ale so that at the least way mirth
might not lack. Then young Madden showed all the whole affair and when he said how that she was dead and how for holy religion sake by rede of palmer and bedesman and for a vow he had made to Saint Ultan of Ardbraccanº her goodman husband would not let her death whereby they were all wondrous grieved. To whom young Stephen had these words following, Murmur, sirs, is eke oft among lay folk. Both babe and parent now glorify their Maker, the one in limbo gloom, the other in purge fire. But, gramercy, what of those Godpossibled souls that we nightly impossibilise, which is the sin against the Holy Ghost, Very God, Lord and Giver of Life? For, sirs, he said, our lust is brief. We are means to those small creatures within us and nature has other ends than we. Then said Dixon junior to Punch Costello wist he what ends. But he had overmuch drunken and the best word he could have of him was that he would ever dishonest a woman whoso she were or wife or maid or leman if it so fortuned him to be delivered of his spleen of lustihead. Whereat Crotthers of Alba Longa sang young Malachi's praise of that beast the unicorn how once in the millennium he cometh by his horn the other all this while pricked forward with their jibes wherewith they did malice him, witnessing all and several by saint Foutinus his engines that he was able to do any manner of thing that lay in man to do. Thereat laughed they all right jocundly only young Stephen and sir Leopold which never durst laugh too open by reason of a strange humour which he would not bewray and also for that he rued for her that bare whoso she might be or wheresoever. Then spakeº young Stephen orgulous of mother Church that would cast him out of her bosom, of law of canons, of Lilith, patron of abortions, of bigness wrought by wind of seeds of brightness or by potency of vampires mouth to mouth or, as Virgiliusº saith, by the influence of the occident or by the reek of moonflower or an she lie with a woman which her man has but lain with, effectu secuto, or peradventure in her bath according to the opinions of Averroes and Moses Maimonides. He said also how at the end of the second month a human soul was infused and how in all our holy mother foldeth ever souls for God's greater glory whereas that earthly mother which was but a dam to bring forthº
beastly should die by canon for so saith he that holdeth the fisherman's seal, even that blessed Peter on which rock was holy church for all ages founded. All they bachelors then asked of sir Leopold would he in like case so jeopard her person as risk life to save life. A wariness of mind he would answer as fitted all and, laying hand to jaw, he said dissembling, as his wont was, that as it was informed him, who had ever loved the art of physic as might a layman, and agreeing also with his experience of so seldom seenº an accident it was good for that motherº Church belike at one blow had birth and death pence and in such sort deliverly he scaped their questions. That is truth, pardy, said Dixon, and, or I err, a pregnant word. Which hearing young Stephen was a marvellous glad man and he averred that heº who stealeth from the poor lendeth to the Lord for he was of a wild manner when he was drunken and that he was now in that taking it appeared eftsoons.
But sir Leopold was passing grave maugre his word by cause he still had pity of the terrorcausing shrieking of shrill women in their labour and as he was minded of his good lady Marion that had borne him an only manchild which on his eleventh day on live had diedº and no man of art could save so dark is destiny. And she was wondrous stricken of heart for that evil hap and for his burial did him on a fair corselet of lamb's wool, the flower of the flock, lest he might perish utterly and lie akeled (for it was then about the midst of the winter) and now sir Leopold that had of his body no manchild for an heir looked upon him his friend's son and was shut up in sorrow for his forepassed happiness and as sad as he was that him failed a son of such gentle courage (for all accounted him of real parts) so grieved he also in no less measure for young Stephen for that he lived riotously with those wastrels and murdered his goods with whores.
About that present
time young Stephen filled all cups that stood empty
little mo if the prudenter had not
approach from him that
still plied it very
busily who, praying
for the intentions of
the sovereign pontiff, he gave them for a pledge the
vicar of Christ
which also as he
said is vicar of
Bray. Now drink
we, quod he, of this
quaff ye this
mead which is not
indeed parcel of my body but my soul's bodiment. Leave ye fraction of bread to them that live by bread alone. Be not afeard neither for any want for this will comfort more than the other will dismay. See ye here. And he showed them glistering coins of the tribute and goldsmiths'º notes the worth of two pound nineteen shilling that he had, he said,º for a song which he writ. They all admired to see the foresaid riches in such dearth of money as was herebefore. His words were then these as followeth: Know all men, he said, time's ruins build eternity's mansions. What means this? Desire's wind blasts the thorntree but after it becomes from a bramblebushº to be a rose upon the rood of time. Mark me now. In woman's womb word is made flesh but in the spirit of the maker all flesh that passes becomes the word that shall not pass away. This is the postcreation. Omnis caro ad te veniet. No question but her name is puissant who aventried the dear corse of our Agenbuyer, Healer and Herd, our mighty mother and mother most venerable and Bernardus saith aptly that sheº hath an omnipotentiam deiparae supplicem, that is to wit, an almightiness of petition because she is the second Eveº and she won us, saith Augustine too, whereas that other, our grandam, which we are linked up with by successive anastomosis of navelcords sold us all,º seed, breed and generation,º for a penny pippin. But here is the matter now. Or she knew him, that second I say, and was but creature of her creature, vergine madre figlia di tuo figlio,º or she knew him not and then stands she in the one denial or ignorancy with Peter Piscator who lives in the house that Jack built and with Joseph the Joinerº patron of the happy demise of all unhappy marriages parcequeº M. Léoº Taxil nous a dit que qui l'avait mise dans cette fichue position c'était le sacré pigeon, ventre de Dieu! Entweder transubstantialityº oder consubstantiality but in no case subsubstantiality. And all cried out upon it for a very scurvy word. A pregnancy without joy, he said, a birth without pangs, a body without blemish, a belly without bigness. Let the lewd with faith and fervour worship. With will will we withstand, withsay.
Hereupon Punch Costello
dinged with his fist upon the board and
would sing a bawdy catch Staboo Stabella about a wench that was put in pod of a jolly swashbuckler in Almany which he did &now attack:
The first three months she was not well, Stabooº,
when here nurse Quigley from the door angerly bid them hist ye should shame you nor was it not meet as she remembered them being her mind was to have all orderly against lord Andrew came for because she was jealous that no gasteful turmoil might shorten the honour of her guard. It was an ancient and a sad matron of a sedate look and christian walking, in habit dun beseeming her megrims and wrinkled visage, nor did her hortative want of it effect for incontinently Punch Costello was of them all embraided and they reclaimed the churl withº civil rudeness some and with menace of blandishments others whiles all chode with him, a murrain seize the dolt, what a devil he would be at, thou chuff, thou puny, thou got in the peasestraw,º thou losel, thou chitterling, thou spawn of a rebel, thou dykedropt, thou abortion thou, to shut up his drunken drool out of that like a curse of God ape, the good sir Leopold that had for his cognisance the flower of quiet, margerain gentle, advising also the time's occasion as most sacred and most worthy to be most sacred. In Horne's house rest should reign.
To be short this
passage was scarce by when Master Dixon of Mary
asked young Stephen
what was the reason
why he had not
cided to take
friar's vows and he answered him obedience in the
in the tomb but
poverty all his days. Master Lenehan at this
made return that
he had heard of those
and how, as he
counted, he had
besmirched the lily
virtue of a confiding female which was
minors and they all
too, waxing merry and
his fathership. But he
entirely it was
clean contrary to
their suppose for he
was the eternal son and
Thereat mirth grew
in them the more and they
rehearsed to him
rite of wedlock
for the disrobing and deflowering of spouses,
as the priests use in
Madagascar island, she to be in
guise of white and
saffron, her groom
in white and grain, with burning of nard and tapers, on a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and the anthem Ut novetur sexus omnis corporis mysterium till she was there unmaided. He gave them then a much admirable hymen minim by those delicate poets Master John Fletcher and Master Francis Beaumont that is in their Maid's Tragedy that was writ for a like twining of lovers: To bed, to bedº was the burden of it to be played with accompanable concent upon the virginals. An exquisite dulcet epithalame of most mollificative suadency for juveniles amatory whom the odoriferous flambeaus of the paranymphs have escorted to the quadrupedal proscenium of connubial communion. Well met they were, said Master Dixon, joyed, but, harkee, young sir, better were they named Beau Mount and Lecher for, by my troth, of such a mingling much might come. Young Stephen said indeed to his best remembrance they had but the one doxy between them and she of the stews to make shift with in delights amorous for life ran very high in those days and the custom of the country approved with it. Greater love than this, he said, no man hath that a man lay down his wife for his friend. Go thou and do likewise. Thus, or words to that effect, saith Zarathustra, sometime regius professor of French letters to the university of Oxtail nor breathed there ever that man to whom mankind was more beholden. Bring a stranger within thy tower it will go hard but thou wilt have the secondbest bed. Orate, fratres, pro memetipso. And all the people shall say, Amen. Remember, Erin, thy generations and thy days of old, how thou settedst little by me and by my word and broughtedstº in a stranger to my gates to commit fornication in my sight and to wax fat and kick like Jeshurum. Therefore hast thou sinned against theº light and hast made me, thy lord,º to be the slave of servants. Return, return, Clan Milly: forget me not, O Milesian. Why hast thou done this abomination before me that thou didst spurn me for a merchant of jalaps and didst deny me to the Roman and toº the Indian of dark speech with whom thy daughters did lie luxuriously? Look forth now, my people, upon the land of behest, even from Horeb and from Nebo and from Pisgah and from the Horns of Hatten unto a land flowing with milk and money. But thou hast suckled me with a
bitter milk: my moon and my sun thou hast quenched for ever. And thou hast left me alone for ever in the dark ways of my bitterness: and with a kiss of ashes hast thou kissed my mouth. This tenebrosity of the interior, he proceeded to say, hath not been illumined by the wit of the septuagint nor so much as mentioned for the Orient from on high Whichº brake hell's gates visited a darkness that was foraneous. Assuefaction minorates atrocities (as Tully saith of his darling Stoics) and Hamlet his father showeth the prince no blister of combustion. The adiaphane in the noon of life is an Egypt's plague which in the nights of prenativity and postmortemity is their most proper ubi and quomodo. And as the ends and ultimates of all things accordsº in some mean and measure with their inceptions and originals, that same multiplicit concordance which leads forth growth from birth accomplishing by a retrogressive metamorphosis that minishing and ablation towards the final which is agreeable unto nature so is it with our subsolar being. The aged sisters draw us into life: we wail, batten, sport, clip, clasp, sunderº, dwindle, die: over us dead they bend. First saved from water of old Nile, among bulrushes, a bed of fasciated wattles: at last the cavity of a mountain, an occulted sepulchre amid the conclamation of the hillcat and the ossifrage. And as no man knows the ubicity of his tumulus nor to what processes we shall thereby be ushered nor whether to Tophet or to Edenville in the like way is all hidden when we would backward see from what region of remoteness the whatness of our whoness hath fetched his whenceness.º
Thereto Punch Costello roared out mainly Étienneº chanson but he loudly bid them lo, wisdom hath built herself a house, this vast majestic longstablished vault, the crystal palace of the Creator all in applepie order, a penny for him who finds the pea.
A black crack of noise
in the street
here, alack, bawledº back. Loud on left
Thor thundered: in anger awful the hammerhurler.
Came now the
storm that hist his heart. And Master Lynch bade him have a care to flout and witwanton as the god self was angered for his hellprate and paganry. And he that had erst challenged to be so doughty waxed paleº as they might all mark and shrank together and his pitch that was before so haught uplift was now of a sudden quite plucked down and his heart shook within the cage of his breast as he tasted the rumour of that storm. Then did some mock and some jeer and Punch Costello fell hard again to his yale which Master Lenehan vowed he would do after and he was indeed but a word and a blow on any the least colour. But the braggart boaster cried that an old Nobodaddy was in his cups it was muchwhat indifferent and he would not lag behind his lead. But this was only to dye his desperation as cowed he crouched in Horne's hall. He drank indeed at one draught to pluck up a heart of any grace for it thundered long rumblingly over all the heavens so that Master Madden, being godly certain whiles, knocked him on his ribs upon that crack of doom and Master Bloom, at the braggart'sº side,º spoke to him calming words to slumber his great fear, advertising how it was no other thing but a hubbub noise that he heard, the discharge of fluid from the thunderhead, look you, having taken place, and all of the order of a natural phenomenon.
But was young Boasthard's fear vanquished by Calmer's words? No,
for heº had in his bosom a spike named
Bitterness which could not by words be done away. And was he then neither calm
like the one nor godly like the other? He was neither as much as he would have
liked to be either. But could he not
have endeavoured to
have found again as in his youth the bottle Holiness
that then he lived
withal? Indeed noº for Grace was not
there to find that bottle. Heard he then in that clap the voice of the god
Bringforth or, what Calmer said, a
Phenomenon? Heard? Why, heº could not but
hear unless he had plugged himº up the
tube Understanding (which he had not done). For through that tube he saw that he
was in the land of Phenomenon where he must for a certain one day die as he was
like the rest too a passing show. And would he not accept to die like the rest
and pass away? By no means would he andº make more shows according as
men do with wives which Phenomenon has commanded them to do by the book Law. Then wotted he nought of that other land which is called Believe-on-Me, that is the land of promise which behoves to the king Delightful and shall be for ever where there is no death and no birth neither wiving nor mothering at which all shall come as many as believe on it? Yes, Pious had told him of that land and Chaste had pointed him to the way but the reason was that in the way he fell in with a certain whore of an eyepleasing exterior whose name, she said, is Bird-in-the-Hand and she beguiled him wrongways from the true path by her flatteries that she said to him as, Ho, you pretty man, turn aside hither and I will show you a brave place, and she lay at him so flatteringly that she had him in her grot which is named Two-in-the-Bush or, by some learned, Carnal Concupiscence.
This was it what all that company that sat there
at commons in
Manse of Mothers
the most lusted after and if they met with this whore Bird-in-the-Hand (which
was within all foul plagues, monsters and a wicked devil) they would
strain the last
but they would
make at her and
know her. For
regarding Believe-on-Me they said it was
nought else but
notion and they could conceive no thought of it
Two-in-the-Bush whither she
ticed them was
the very goodliest grot and in it were four pillows on which were four tickets
with these wordsº printed on them,
Pickaback and Topsyturvy and Shameface and Cheek by Jowl and, second, for that
foul plague Allpox and the monsters they cared not for them for Preservative had
given them a stout shield of oxengut and, third, that they might take no
from Offspring that was that wicked devil by virtue of this same shield which
was named Killchild. So were they all in their blind fancy,
Mr Cavil and Mr
Sometimes Godly, Mr Ape Swillale, Mr False Franklin, Mr Dainty Dixon, Young
Boasthard and Mr Cautious Calmer.
wretched company,º were ye all deceived
for that was the voice of the god that was in a very
grievous rage that
his arm and spill
their souls for
their abuses and their spillings
done by them
contrariwise to his word which forth to bring brenningly biddeth.
So Thursday sixteenth June Patk. Dignam
laid in clay of
an apoplexy and
God, rained, a bargeman coming in by water
a fifty mile or
thereabout with turf saying the
Hard to breathe
and all the young
consumed without sprinkle this long while back as
no man remembered to
be without. The rosy buds all gone brown and spread out
blobs and on the
hills nought but dry
that would catch at
first fire. All
the world saying,
for aught they
knew, the big
wind of last February a year that did havoc the land so
pitifully a small
thing beside this barrenness. But by and by, as said, this evening after
sundown, the wind
sitting in the west,
clouds to be seen as
the night increased and the weatherwise
poring up at them
and some sheet lightnings at first and after,
past ten of the
clock, one great stroke with a long thunder and in
a brace of
shakes all scamper pellmell within door for the
the men making shelter for their straws with a clout or kerchief, womenfolk
skipping off with
soon as the pour
came. In Ely place, Baggot street, Duke's lawn, thence through Merrion
green up to Holles street a swash of water running that was before
bonedry and not
one chair or coach or
about but no more crack
first. Over against the Rt. Hon. Mr Justice Fitzgibbon's door (that is to
sit with Mr Healy the lawyer upon the college lands) Mal. Mulligan
gentleman that had but
come from Mr
Moore's the writer's (that was a papish but is now, folk say, a
Alec. Bannon in a cut
bob (which are
now in with dance cloaks of
that was new got
to town from Mullingar with the stage where
his coz and Mal
M's brother will stay a month yet till Saint Swithin and asks
what in the earth
he does there, he
bound home and he to Andrew Horne's
being stayed for
to crush a cup of
wine, so he said, but would tell him of a
big of her age and
beef to the
heel,º and all this while
poured with rain
and so both together on to Horne's. There Leop. Bloom of Crawford's
journal sitting snug with a
covey of wags,
jun.,º scholar of my
lady of Mercy, Vin. Lynch, a Scots fellow, Will. Madden, T. Lenehan, very sad for a racinghorse he fancied and Stephen D. Leop. Bloom there for a languorº he had but was now better, he having dreamed tonight a strange fancy of his dame Mrs Moll with red slippers on in a pair of Turkey trunks which is thought by those in ken to be for a change and Mistress Purefoy there, that got in through pleading her belly, and now on the stools, poor body, two days past her term, the midwives sore put to itº and can't deliver, she queasy for a bowl of riceslop that is a shrewd drier up of the insides and her breath very heavy more than good and should be a bullyboy from the knocks,º they say, but God give her soon issue. 'Tis her ninth chick to live, I hear, and Lady day bit off her last chick's nails that was then a twelvemonth and with other three all breastfed that died written out in a fair hand in the king's bible. Her hub fifty odd and a methodist but takes the sacramentº and is to be seen any fair sabbath with a pair of his boys off Bullock harbour dapping on the sound with a heavybraked reel or in a punt he has trailing for flounder and pollock and catches a fine bag, I hear. In sum anº infinite great fall of rain and all refreshed and will much increase the harvest yet those in ken say after wind and water fire shall come for a prognostication of Malachi's almanac (and I hear that Mr Russell has done a prophetical charm of the same gist out of the Hindustanish for his farmer's gazette) to have three things in all but this a mere fetch withoutº bottom of reason for old crones and bairns yet sometimes they are found in the right guess with their queerities no telling how.
With this came up
Lenehan to the
feet of the
table to say how the letter was in that night's gazette and he made a show
to find it about him (for he swore with an
oath that he had
beenº at pains about it) but
persuasion he gave over theº search
and was bidden to sit near by which he did
mighty brisk. He
was a kind of sport gentleman that
went for a
honest pickle and
what belonged of
women, horseflesh or hot scandal he had it pat. To tell the truth he was
mean in fortunes
and for the most part
hankered about the
coffeehousesº and low taverns with
runners, flatcaps, waistcoateers, ladies of the bagnio and other rogues of the game or with a chanceable catchpole or a tipstaff often at nights till broad day of whom he picked up between his sackpossets much loose gossip. He took his ordinary at a boilingcook's and if he had but gotten into him a mess of broken victuals or a platter of tripes with a bare tester in his purse he could always bring himself off with his tongue, some randy quip he had from a punk or whatnot that every mother's son of them would burst their sides. The other, Costello, that is, hearing this talk asked was it poetry or a tale. Faith, no, he says, Frank (that was his name),º 'tis all about Kerry cows that are to be butchered along of the plague. But they can go hang, says he with a wink, for me with their bully beef, a pox on it. There's as good fish in this tin as ever came out of it and very friendly he offered to take of some salty sprats that stood by which he had eyed wishly in the meantime and found the place which was indeed the chief design of his embassy as he was sharpset. Mort aux vaches, says Frank then in the French language that had been indentured to a brandy shipper that has a winelodge in Bordeaux and he spoke French like a gentleman too. From a child this Frank had been a donought that his father, a headborough, who could ill keep him to school to learn his letters and the use of the globes, matriculated at the university to study the mechanics but he took the bit between his teethº like a raw colt and was more familiar with the justiciary and the parish beadle than with his volumes. One time he would be a playactor, then a sutler or a welsher, then nought would keep him from the bearpit and the cocking main, then he was for the ocean sea or to footº it on the roads with the Romany folk, kidnapping a squire's heir by favour of moonlight or fecking maids' linen or choking chickensº behind a hedge. He had been off as many times as a cat has lives and back again with naked pockets as many more to his father the headborough who shed a pint of tears as often as he saw him. What, says Mr Leopold with his hands across, that was earnest to know the drift of it, will they slaughter all? I protest I saw them but this day morning going to the Liverpool boats, says he. I can scarce believe 'tis so bad, says he. And he had experience of
the like brood beasts and of springers, greasy hoggets and wether wools,º having been some years before actuary for Mr Joseph Cuffe, a worthy salesmaster that drove his trade for live stock and meadow auctions hard by Mr Gavin Low's yard in Prussia street. I question with you there, says he. More like 'tis the hoose or the timber tongue. Mr Stephen, a little moved but very handsomely, told him no such matter and that he had dispatches from the emperor's chief tailtickler thanking him for the hospitality, that was sending over Doctor Rinderpest, the bestquoted cowcatcher in all Muscovy,º with a bolus or two of physic to take the bull by the horns. Come, come, says Mr Vincent, plain dealing. He'll find himself on the horns of a dilemma if he meddles with a bull that's Irish, says he. Irish by name and irish by nature, says Mr Stephen, and he sent the ale purling about. Anº Irish bull in an English chinashop. I conceive you, says Mr Dixon. It is that same bull that was sent to our island by farmer Nicholas, the bravest cattle breeder of them all,º with an emerald ring in his nose. True for you, says Mr Vincent cross the table, and a bullseye into the bargain, says he, and a plumper and a portlier bull, says he, never shit on shamrock. He had horns galore, a coat of clothº of gold and a sweet smoky breath coming out of his nostrils so that the women of our island, leaving doughballs and rollingpins, followed after him hanging his bulliness in daisychains. What for that, says Mr Dixon, but before he came over farmer Nicholas that was a eunuch had him properly gelded by a college of doctors who were no better off than himself. So be off now, says he, and do all my cousin german the lordº Harry tells youº and take a farmer's blessing, and with that he slapped his posteriors very soundly. But the slap and the blessing stood him friend, says Mr Vincent, for to make upº he taught him a trick worth two of the other so that maid, wife, abbess and widow to this day affirm that they would rather any time of the month whisper in his ear in the dark of a cowhouse or get a lick on the nape from his long holy tongue than lie with the finest strapping young ravisher in the four fields of all Ireland. Another then put in his word: And they dressed him, says he,º in a point shift and petticoat with a tippet and girdle and ruffles on his
wrists and clipped his forelock and rubbed him all over with spermacetic oil and built stables for him at every turn of the road with a gold manger in each full of the best hay in the market so that he could doss and dung to his heart's content. By this time the father of the faithful (for so they called himº) was grown so heavy that he could scarce walk to pasture. To remedy which our cozening dames and damsels brought him his fodder in their apronlaps and as soon as his belly was full he would rear up on his hind quarters to show their ladyships a mystery and roar and bellow out of him in bulls' language and they all after him. Ay, says another, and so pampered was he that he would suffer nought to grow in all the land but green grass for himself (for that was the only colour to his mind) and there was a board put up on a hillock in the middle of the island with a printed notice, saying: By the lord Harry green is the grass that grows on the ground. And, says Mr Dixon, if ever he got scent of a cattleraider in Roscommon or the wilds of Connemara or a husbandman in Sligo that was sowing as much as a handful of mustard or a bag of rapeseed out he'dº run amok over half the countryside rooting up with his horns whateverº was planted and all by lord Harry's orders. There was bad blood between them at first,º says Mr Vincent, and the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas all the old Nicks in the world and an old whoremaster that kept seven trulls in his house and I'll meddle in his matters, says he. I'll make that animal smell hell, says he, with the help of that good pizzle my father left me. But one evening, says Mr Dixon, when the lord Harry was cleaning his royal pelt to go to dinner after winning a boatrace (he had spade oars for himself but the first rule of the course was that the others were to row with pitchforks) he discovered in himself a wonderful likeness to a bull and on picking up a blackthumbed chapbook that he kept in the pantry he found sure enough that he was a lefthanded descendant of the famous champion bull of the Romans, Bos Bovum, which is good bog Latin for boss of the show. After that, says Mr Vincent, the lord Harry put his head into a cow's drinkingtrough in the presence of all his courtiers and pulling itº out again told them all his new name. Then, with the water running off him, he got into an old smock and skirt that
had belonged to his grandmother and bought a grammar of the bulls' language to study but he could never learn aº word of it except the first personal pronoun which he copied out big and got off by heart and if ever he went out for a walk he filled his pockets with chalk to write it up on what took his fancy, the side of aº rock or a teahouse table or a bale of cotton or a corkfloat. In short he and the bull of Ireland were soon as fast friends as an arse and a shirt. They were, says Mr Stephen, and the end was that the men of the island, seeing no help was toward as the ungrate women were all of one mind, made a wherry raft, loaded themselves and their bundles of chattels on shipboard, set all masts erect, manned the yards, sprang their luff, heaved to, spread three sheets in the wind, put her head between wind and water, weighed anchor, ported her helm, ran up the jolly Roger, gave three times three, let the bullgine run, pushed off in their bumboat and put to sea to recover the main of America. Which was the occasion, says Mr Vincent, of the composing by a boatswain of that rollicking chanty:
— Pope Peter's but a pissabed.
A man's a man for a' that.
Our worthy acquaintance, Mr Malachi Mulligan, now appeared in the doorway
as the students were finishing their apologue accompanied with a friend whom he
had just rencountered, a young gentleman,
his name Alec
Bannon, who had late come to town, it being his intention
to buy a colour or
a cornetcy in
and list for the
wars. Mr Mulligan was civil enough to express some relish
of it all the
more as it jumped
with a project
of his own for the cure of the very evil that had been
Whereat he handed round to the company a set of pasteboard cards which he had
had printed that day at Mr Quinnell's bearing a legend printed in fair
italics: Mr Malachi
Lambay Island. His
project, as he
went on to expound, was to withdraw from the round of idle pleasures such as
form the chief business of
Popinjay and sir
Quidnunc in town
and to devote himself to the noblest task for which our bodily organism has been
framed. Well, let us hear of it,
good my friend,
said Mr Dixon. I
make no doubt it smacks of wenching. Come, be
seated, both. 'Tis as cheap sitting as standing. Mr Mulligan accepted of the invitation and, expatiatingº on his design, told his hearers that he had been led into this thought by a consideration of the causes of sterility, both the inhibitory and the prohibitory, whether the inhibition in its turn were due to conjugal vexations or to a parsimony of the balance as well as whether the prohibition proceeded from defects congenital or from proclivitiesº acquired. It grieved him plaguily, he said, to see the nuptial couch defrauded of its dearest pledges: and to reflect upon so many agreeable females with rich jointures, a prey for the vilest bonzes, who hide their flambeau under a bushel in anº uncongenial cloister or lose their womanly bloom in the embraces of some unaccountable muskin when they might multiply the inlets of happiness, sacrificing the inestimable jewel of their sex when a hundred pretty fellows were at hand to caress, this, he assured them, made his heart weep. To curb this inconvenientº (which he concluded due to a suppression of latent heat),º having advised with certain counsellors of worth and inspected into this matter, he had resolved to purchase in fee simple for ever the freehold of Lambay island from its holder, lord Talbot de Malahide, a Tory gentleman of note much in favour with our ascendancy party. He proposed to set up there a national fertilising farm to be named Omphalos with an obelisk hewn and erected after the fashion of Egypt and to offer his dutiful yeoman services for the fecundation of any female of what grade of life soever who should there direct to him with the desire of fulfilling the functions of her natural. Money was no object, he said, nor would he take a penny for his pains. The poorest kitchenwench no less than the opulent lady of fashion, if so be their constructions and their tempers were warm persuaders for their petitions, would find in him their man. For his nutriment he shewed how he would feed himself exclusively upon a diet of savoury tubercles and fish and coneys there, the flesh of these latter prolific rodents being highly recommended for his purpose, both broiled and stewed with a blade of mace and a pod or two of capsicum chillies. After this homily which he delivered with much warmth of asseveration Mr Mulligan in a trice put off from his hat a kerchief with
which he had shielded it. They both, it seems, had been overtaken by the rain and for all their mending their pace had taken water, as might be observed by Mr Mulligan's smallclothes of aº hodden grey which was now somewhat piebald. His project meanwhile was very favourably entertained by his auditors and won hearty eulogies from all though Mr Dixon of Mary's excepted to it, asking with a finicking air did he purpose also to carry coals to Newcastle. Mr Mulligan however made court to the scholarly by an apt quotation from the classics which, as it dwelt upon his memory,º seemed to him a sound and tasteful support of his contention: Talis ac tanta depravatio hujus seculi, O quirites, ut matresfamiliarumº nostrae lascivas cujuslibet semiviri libici titillationes testibus ponderosis atque excelsis erectionibus centurionum Romanorum magnopere anteponunt:º while for those of ruder wit he drove home his point by analogies of the animal kingdom more suitable to their stomach, the buck and doe of the forest glade, the farmyard drake and duck.
not a little upon his elegance, being indeed
a proper man of
this talkative now
to his dress with animadversions of some heat upon the sudden whimsy of the
the company lavished their
the project he had
young gentleman, his friend,
overjoyed as he
was at a passage
that had befallen him,
could not forbear to
tell it his nearest neighbour. Mr Mulligan, now perceiving the table, asked
for whom were those
loaves and fishes
and, seeing the strangerº, he made him a
civil bow and said,
Pray, sir, was
you in need of any professional assistance we could give?
Who, upon his
offer, thanked him very heartily, though
preserving his proper
distance, and replied that he was come there about a lady, now an inmate of
Horne's house, that was in
condition, poor bodyº, from
woman's woe (and
here he fetched a
deep sigh) to know if
her happiness had yet
taken place. Mr Dixon, to turn the table,
took on to ask
ofº Mr Mulligan himself whether his
upon which he
rallied him, betokened an
in the prostatic utricle or male womb or was due as with the noted
physician, Mr Austin Meldon, to
a wolf in the stomach. For answer Mr Mulligan, in a gale of laughter at his smalls, smote himself bravely below the diaphragm, exclaiming with an admirable droll mimic of Mother Grogan (the most excellent creature of her sex though 'tis pity she's a trollop): There's a belly that never bore a bastard. This was so happy a conceit that it renewed the storms of mirth and threw the whole room into the most violent agitations of delight. The spry rattle had run on in the same vein of mimicry but for some larum in the antechamber.
Here the listener
who was none other
than the Scotch student,
a little fume of a
fellow, blond as tow,
the liveliest fashion
with the young
gentleman and, interrupting the narrative at a salient point, having
visavis with a polite
to pass him a
flagon of cordial
waters at the same time by a questioning poise of the head (a whole century
of polite breedingº had not achieved so
nice a gesture) to which was united an equivalent but contrary balance of the
bottleº asked the narrator as plainly as
was ever done in words if he might
treat him with a
cup of it. Mais
said he cheerily,
compliments. That you may and very opportunely.
nothing but this cup to crown my felicity. But,
was I left with but a
crust in my
wallet and aº cupful of water from
the well, my God,
I would accept of them and find it in my heart
to kneel down upon
the ground and give thanks to the powers above for the happiness vouchsafed
me by the Giver of
good things. With these words he
goblet to his lips, took a
of the cordial,
slicked his hair
and, opening his
popped a locket
that hung from a
picture which he had
since her hand had
wrote therein. Gazing upon those features with
a world of
tenderness, Ah, Monsieur, he said, had you but beheld her as I did
with these eyes at
instant with her dainty tucker and her new coquette cap (a gift for her feast
dayº as she told me) in such an
disorder, of so melting a tenderness,
conscience, even you, Monsieur, had been impelled by generous nature to
deliver yourself wholly into the hands of such an enemy or to
quit the field for ever.
I declare, I was never so touched in all my life. God,º I thank thee,º as the Author of my days! Thrice happy will he be whom so amiable a creature will bless with her favours. A sigh of affection gave eloquence to these words and, having replaced the locket in his bosom, he wiped his eye and sighed again. Beneficent Disseminator of blessings to all Thy creatures, how great andº universal must be that sweetest of Thy tyrannies which can hold in thrall the free and the bond, the simple swain and the polished coxcomb, the lover in the heyday of reckless passionº and the husband of maturer years. But indeed, sir, I wander from the point. How mingled and imperfect are all our sublunary joys.º Maledicity! Would to God that foresight had remembered me to take my cloak along!º I could weep to think of it. Then, though it had poured seven showers,º we were neither of us a penny the worse. But beshrew me, he cried, clapping hand to his forehead, tomorrow will be a new day and, thousand thunders, I know of a marchand de capotes, Monsieur Poyntz, from whom I can have for a livre as snug a cloak of the French fashion as ever kept a lady from wetting. Tut, tut! cries Le Fécondateur, tripping in, my friend Monsieur Moore,º that most accomplished traveller (I have just cracked a half bottle avec lui in a circle of the best wits of the town),º is my authority that in Cape Horn, ventre biche, they have a rain that will wet through any, even the stoutest cloak. A drenching of that violence, he tells me, sans blague,º has sent more than one luckless fellow in good earnest posthaste to another world. Pooh! A livre!º cries Monsieur Lynch. The clumsy things are dear at a sou. One umbrella, were it no bigger than a fairy mushroom, is worth ten such stopgaps. No woman of any wit would wear one. My dear Kitty told me today that she would dance in a deluge before ever she would starve in such an ark of salvation for, as she reminded me (blushing piquantly and whispering in my ear though there was none to snap her words but giddy butterflies),º dame Nature, by the divine blessing, has implanted it in our heartsº and it has become a household word that il y a deux choses for which the innocence of our original garb, in other circumstances a breach of the proprieties, is the fittest, nay,º the only garment. The first, said she
(and here my pretty philosopher, as I handed her to her tilbury, to fix my attention, gently tipped with her tongue the outer chamber of my ear),º the first is a bath … but at this point a bell tinkling in the hall cut short a discourse which promised so bravely for the enrichment of our store of knowledge.
Amid the general vacant hilarity of the assembly a bell rang and while all
what might be the cause Miss Callan
having spoken a few words in a low tone to young Mr Dixon, retired with a
profound bow to the company. The presence even for a moment among a party of
debauchees of a
woman endued with every quality of modesty and
not less severe than
beautiful refrained the humorousº
sallies even of the most licentious but her departure was the signal for an
outbreak of ribaldry. Strike me silly, said Costello, a
low fellow who was
A monstrous fine
bit of cowflesh!
I'll be sworn
What, you dog? Have you a way with them?
Immenselyº so, said Mr Lynch. The
bedside manner it
is that they use in the Mater hospice.
Demme, does not Doctor
O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the chin.
As I look to be
saved I had it from my Kitty who has been
wardmaid there any
time these seven months.
doctor, cried the
young blood in the
primrose vest, feigning a
withº immodest squirmings of his body,
how you do tease a body!
Drat the man!
Bless me, I'm
all of a wibblywobbly. Why, you're as bad as dear little
Cantekissem,º that you are!
four half choke
me, cried Costello, if she ain'tº
in the family way.
I knows a lady what's got a
quick as I claps eyes on her. The young surgeon, however, rose and begged the
company to excuse his retreat as the nurse had just then informed him that he
was needed in the ward. Merciful providence had been pleased to
put a period to the
sufferings of the lady who was
which she had borne with a
and she had given birth to a bouncing boy.
I want patience,
said he, with those who,º
without wit to enliven
or learning to instruct,
saving the reverence
due to the
Deity, is the greatest
power for happiness upon the earth.
I am positive when I say that if need were I could produce a cloud of witnesses to the excellence of her noble exercitations which, so far from being a byword, should be a glorious incentive in the human breast. I cannot away with them. What? Malign such an one, the amiable Miss Callan, who is the lustre of her own sex and the astonishment of ours and at an instant the most momentous that can befallº a puny child of clay? Perish the thought! I shudder to think of the future of a race where the seeds of suchº malice have been sown and where no right reverence is rendered to mother and maid in house of Horne. Having delivered himself of this rebuke he saluted those present on the by and repaired to the door. A murmur of approval arose from all and some were for ejecting the low soaker without more ado, a design which would have been effected nor would he have received more than his bare deserts had he not abridged his transgression by affirming with a horrid imprecation (for he swore a round hand) that he was as good a son of the true fold as ever drew breath. Stap my vitals, said he, them was always the sentiments of honest Frank Costello which I was bred up most particular to honour thy father and thy mother that had the best hand to a rolypoly or a hasty pudding as you ever see what I always looks back on with a loving heart.
To revert to
Mr Bloom who, after his first entry,º had
been conscious of some
which he, however,º had
asº being the fruits of that age upon
which it is commonly
charged that it
knows not pity. The young
it is true, were
as full of
children: the words of their
understood and not
often nice: their
mots were such
that his intellects
nor were they
sensible of the
proprieties though their
spirits spoke in
their behalf. But
the word of Mr
Costello was anº unwelcome language
for him for he
wretch that seemed to him a cropeared creature of a misshapen
born out of
wedlock and thrust
like a crookback toothedº
and feet first into
the world, which
the dint of the
surgeon's pliers in his skullº
lent indeed a colour to, so as it
put him in thought
of that missing link of creation's
chain desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin. It was now for more than the middle span of our allotted years that he had passed through the thousand vicissitudes of existence and, being of a wary ascendancy and self a man of a rare forecast, he had enjoined his heart to repress all motions of a rising choler and, by intercepting them with the readiest precaution, foster within his breast that plenitude of sufferance which base minds jeer at, rash judgers scorn and all find tolerable and but tolerable. To those who create themselves wits at the cost of feminine delicacy (a habit of mind which heº never did hold with) to them he would concede neither to bear the name nor to herit the tradition of a proper breeding: while for such that, having lost all forbearance,º can lose no more,º there remained the sharp antidote of experience to cause their insolency to beat a precipitate and inglorious retreat. Not but what he could feel with mettlesome youth which, caring nought for the mows of dotards or the gruntlings of the severe, is ever (as the chaste fancy of the Holy Writer expresses it) for eating of the tree forbid it yet not so far forth as to pretermit humanity upon any condition soever towardsº a gentlewoman when she was about her lawful occasions. To conclude, while from the sister's words he had reckoned upon a speedy delivery he was, however, it must be owned, not a little alleviated by the intelligence that the issue so auspicatedº after an ordeal of such duress now testified once more to the mercy as well as to the bounty of the Supreme Being.
broke his mind
to his neighbour, saying that,
to express his notion
of the thing, his
opinion (who ought not perchance to express one) was that one must have a
cold constitution and
a frigid genius not to be rejoiced by this
freshest news of
the fruition of her
since she had been in such pain through no fault of hers. The dressy young blade
said it was her
husband's that put her in that expectation or at least it ought to be
unless she were another
I must acquaint
you, said Mr Crotthers,
clapping on the
table so as to evoke a resonant comment of emphasis, old
was round again today, an elderly man with
his nose a request to have word of
Wilhelmina, my life, as he
calls her. I bade him hold himself in readiness for that the event would burst anon. 'Slife, I'll be round with you. I cannot but extol the virile potency of the old bucko that could still knock another child outº of her. All fell to praising of it, each after his own fashion, though the same young blade held with his former view that another than her conjugial had been the man in the gap, a clerk in orders, a linkboy (virtuous) or an itinerant vendor of articles needed in every household. Singular, communed the guest with himself, the wonderfully unequal faculty of metempsychosis possessed by them, that the puerperal dormitory and the dissecting theatre should be the seminaries of such frivolity, that the mere acquisition of academic titles should suffice to transform in a pinch of time these votaries of levity into exemplary practitioners of an art which most men anywise eminent have esteemed the noblest. But, he further added, it is mayhap to relieve the pentup feelings that in common oppress them for I have more than once observed that birds of a feather laugh together.
But with what fitness,
let it be
the noble lord,
his patron, has this alien, whom the concession of
prince has admitted to civicº rights,
constituted himself the
lord paramount of
our internal polity?
Where is now
that gratitude which loyalty should have counselled? During the recent war
whenever the enemy had a temporary advantage with his
this traitor to his
kind not seize
that moment to
piece against the empire of which he is a
tenant at will
while he trembled for the security of his
four per cents?
Has he forgotten
this as he forgets all benefits received?
Or is it that from
being a deluder of
others he has become at last his own
dupe as he is,
if report belie him not, his own and his only enjoyer?
Far be it from
candour to violate the
bedchamber of a
lady, the daughter of a gallant major, or to cast
the most distant
reflections upon her virtue but if he challenges attention there (as
it was indeed highly
his interest not to have done) then
be it so.
woman,º she has been too long and too
persistently denied her legitimate
listen to his objurgations with any other feeling than the derision of the
desperate. He says this, a censor of
a very pelican in his
piety, who did not scruple, oblivious of the ties of nature, to attempt illicit intercourse with a female domestic drawn from the lowest strata of society! Nay, had the hussy's scouringbrush not been her tutelary angel it had gone with her as hard as with Hagar, the Egyptian! In the question of the grazing lands his peevish asperity is notorious and in Mr Cuffe's hearing brought upon him from an indignant rancher a scathing retort couched in terms as straightforwardº as they were bucolic. It ill becomes him to preach that gospel. Has he not nearer home a seedfield that lies fallow for the want of a ploughshare? A habit reprehensible at puberty is second nature and an opprobriumº in middle life. If he must dispense his balm of Gilead in nostrums and apothegms of dubious taste to restore to health a generation of unfledged profligates let his practice consist better with the doctrines that now engross him. His marital breast is the repository of secrets which decorum is reluctant to adduce. The lewd suggestions of some faded beauty may console him for a consort neglected and debauched but this new exponent of morals and healer of ills is at his best an exotic tree which, when rooted in its native orient, throve and flourished and was abundant in balm but, transplanted to a clime more temperate, its roots have lost their quondam vigour while the stuff that comes away from it is stagnant, acid and inoperative.
The news was imparted with a
recalling the ceremonial usages of the
Porte by the
second female infirmarian to the junior
medical officer in
residence, who in his turn announced to the delegation that an heir had been
born. When he had
betaken himself to
the women's apartment to assist at the prescribed ceremony of the
afterbirth in the
presence of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the members of
the privy council, silent in unanimous exhaustion and
approbation,º the delegates,
the length and solemnity of their vigil and hoping that the joyful occurrence
would palliate a licence which the simultaneous absence of
officerº rendered the
easier,º broke out at once into a strife
of tongues. In vain
the voice of
Mr Canvasser Bloom
was heard endeavouring
to urge, to mollify, to restrain. The moment was too
propitious for the display of that discursiveness which seemedº the only bondº of union among tempers so divergent. Every phase of the situation was successively eviscerated: theº prenatal repugnance of uterine brothers, the Caesarean section, posthumity with respect to the father and, that rarer form, with respect to the mother, the fratricidal case known as the Childs murder and rendered memorable by the impassioned plea of Mr Advocate Bushe which secured the acquittal of the wrongfully accused, the rights of primogeniture and king's bounty touching twins and triplets, miscarriages and infanticides, simulated and dissimulated, acardiac foetus in foetu, aprosopia due to a congestion, the agnathiaº of certain chinless Chinamen (cited by Mr Candidate Mulligan) in consequence of defective reunion of the maxillary knobs along the medial line so that (as he said) one ear could hear what the other spoke, the benefits of anesthesia or twilight sleep, the prolongationº of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of pressure on the vein, the premature relentment of the amniotic fluid (as exemplified in the actual case) with consequent peril of sepsis to the matrix, artificial insemination by means of syringes, involution of the womb consequent upon the menopause, the problem of the perpetuationº of the species in the case of females impregnated by delinquent rape, that distressing manner of delivery called by the Brandenburghers Sturzgeburt, the recorded instances of multiseminalº, twikindled and monstrousº birthsº conceived during the catamenic period or of consanguineous parents — in a word all the cases of human nativity which Aristotle has classified in his masterpiece with chromolithographic illustrations. The gravest problems of obstetrics and forensic medicine were examined with as much animation as the most popular beliefs on the state of pregnancy such as the forbidding to a gravid woman to step over a country stile lest, by her movement, the navelcord should strangle her creature and the injunction upon her in the event of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually entertained, to place her hand against that part of her person which long usage has consecrated as the seat of castigation. The abnormalities of harelip, breastmole, supernumerary digits, negro's inkle, strawberry mark
and portwine stain were alleged by one as a prima facieº and natural hypothetical explanation of swineheadedº (the case of Madame Grissel Steevens was not forgotten) or doghaired infants occasionally born. The hypothesis of a plasmic memory, advanced by the Caledonian envoy and worthy of the metaphysical traditions of the land he stood for, envisaged in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at some stage antecedent to the human. An outlandish delegate sustained against both these views with such heat as almost carried conviction the theory of copulation between women and the males of brutes, his authority being his own avouchment in support of fables such as that of the Minotaur which the genius of the elegant Latin poet has handed down to us in the pages of his Metamorphoses. The impression made by his words was immediate but shortlived. It was effaced as easily as it had been evoked by an allocution from Mr Candidate Mulligan in that vein of pleasantry which none better than he knew how to affect, postulating as the supremest object of desire a nice clean old man. Contemporaneously, a heated argument having arisen between Mr Delegate Madden and Mr Candidate Lynch regarding the juridical and theological dilemma in the event of one Siamese twin predeceasing the other, the difficulty by mutual consent was referred to Mr Canvasser Bloom for instant submittal to Mr Coadjutor Deacon Dedalus. Hitherto silent, whether the better to show by preternatural gravity that curious dignity of the garb with which he was invested or in obedience to an inward voice, he delivered briefly, and as some thought perfunctorily, the ecclesiastical ordinance forbidding man to put asunder what God has joined.
But Malachias' tale began to freeze them with horror. He conjured up
the scene before them. The secret panel beside the chimney slid back and in the
recess appeared —º Haines!
Which of us did not
feel his flesh creep! He had a portfolio full of Celtic literature in one
hand, in the other a phial marked Poison. Surprise, horror, loathing were
depicted on all faces while he eyed them with a ghastly grin. I anticipated some
such reception, he began with an
for which, it seems, history is to blame. Yes, it is true. I am the
of Samuel Childs. And how I am punished! The inferno has no terrors for me. This is the appearance is on me. Tare and ages, what way would I be resting at all, he muttered thickly, and I tramping Dublin this while back with my share of songs and himself after me the like of a soulth or a bullawurrus? My hell, and Ireland's, is in this life. It is what I tried to obliterate my crime. Distractions, rookshooting, the Erse language (he recited some), laudanum (he raised the phial to his lips), camping out. In vain! His spectre stalks me. Dope is my only hope … Ah! Destruction! The black panther! With a cry he suddenly vanished and the panel slid back. An instant later his head appeared in the door opposite and said: Meet me at Westland row station at ten past eleven. He was gone! Tears gushed from the eyes of the dissipated host. The seer raised his hand to heaven, murmuring: The vendetta of Mananaanº! The sage repeated:º Lex talionis. The sentimentalist is he who would enjoy without incurring the immense debtorship for a thing done. Malachias, overcome by emotion, ceased. The mystery was unveiled. Haines was the third brother. His real name was Childs. The black panther was himself the ghost of his own father. He drank drugs to obliterate. For this relief much thanks. The lonely house by the graveyard is uninhabited. No soul will live there. The spider pitches her web in the solitude. The nocturnal rat peers from his hole. A curse is on it. It is haunted. Murderer's ground.
What is the age of the soul of man? As she hath the virtue of the chameleon
to change her hue at every new approach, to be gay with the merry and mournful
with the downcast, so too is her age changeable as her mood. No longer is
Leopold, as he sits there,
chewing the cud of
reminiscence, that staid agent of publicity and holder of a modest substance in
the funds. He is young Leopold, as in a
arrangement, a mirror within a mirror
he beholdeth himself. That young figure of then is seen, precociously manly,
walking on a nipping morning from the old house in
Clanbrassilº street to the
high school, his
booksatchel on him bandolierwise, and in it a goodly hunk of wheaten loaf, a
mother's thought. Or it is the same figure, a year or so gone over, in his first hard hat (ah, that was a day!),
already on the road, a fullfledged traveller for the family firm, equipped with an orderbook, a scented handkerchiefº (not for show only), his case of bright trinketware (alas, a thing now of the past!), and a quiverful of compliant smiles for this or that halfwon housewife reckoning it out upon her fingertips or for a budding virgin shyly acknowledging (but the heart? tell me!) his studied baisemoins. The scent, the smile but more than theseº the dark eyes and oleaginous address brought home at duskfall many a commission to the head of the firm seated with Jacob's pipe after like labours in the paternal ingle (a meal of noodles,º you may be sure, is aheating), reading through round horned spectacles some paper from the Europe of a month before. But hey, presto, the mirror is breathed on and the young knighterrant recedes, shrivels, dwindlesº to a tiny speck within the mist. Now he is himself paternal and these about him might be his sons. Who can say? The wise father knows his own child. He thinks of a drizzling night in Hatch street, hard by the bonded stores there, the first. Together (she is a poor waif, a child of shame, yours and mine and of all for a bare shilling and her luckpenny),º together they hear the heavy tread of the watch as two raincaped shadows pass the new royal university. Bridie! Bridie Kelly! He will never forget the name, ever remember the night, first night, the bridenight. They are entwined in nethermost darkness, the willer with the willed, and in an instant (fiat!) light shall flood the world. Did heart leap to heart? Nay, fair reader. In a breath 'twas done but — hold! Back! It must not be! In terror the poor girl flees away through the murk. She is the bride of darkness, a daughter of night. She dare not bear the sunnygolden babe of day. No, Leopold! Name and memory solace thee not. That youthful illusion of thy strength was taken from thee —º and in vain. No son of thy loins is by thee. There is none now to be for Leopold, what Leopold was for Rudolph.
The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is the infinite
of space: and swiftly, silently the soul is wafted over regions of
cyclesº of generations that have lived. A
region where grey
descends, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk,
perennial dew of
stars. She follows her mother
with ungainly steps, a mare leading her fillyfoal. Twilight phantoms are theyº yet moulded in prophetic grace of structure, slim shapely haunches, a supple tendonous neck, the meek apprehensive skull. They fade, sad phantoms: all is gone. Agendath is a waste land, a home of screechowls and the sandblind upupa. Netaim,º the golden, is no more. And on the highway of the clouds they come, muttering thunder of rebellion, the ghosts of beasts.º Huuh! Hark! Huuh! Parallax stalks behind and goads them, the lancinating lightnings of whose brow are scorpions. Elk and yak, the bulls of Bashan and of Babylon, mammoth and mastodon, they come trooping to the sunken sea, Lacus Mortis. Ominous,º revengeful zodiacal host! They moan, passing upon the clouds, horned and capricorned, the trumpeted with the tusked, the lionmaned, the giantantlered, snouter and crawler, rodent, ruminant and pachyderm, all their moving moaning multitude, murderers of the sun.
Onward to the dead sea they tramp to drink, unslaked and with horrible gulpings, the salt somnolent inexhaustible flood. And the equine portent grows again, magnified in the deserted heavens, nay to heaven's own magnitude,º till it looms, vast, over the house of Virgo. And, lo, wonder of metempsychosis, it is she, the everlasting bride, harbinger of the daystar, the bride, ever virgin. It is she, Martha, thou lost one, Millicent, the young, the dear, the radiant. How serene does she now arise, a queen among the Pleiades, in the penultimate antelucan hour, shod in sandals of bright gold, coifed with a veil of what do you call it gossamer! It floats, it flows about her starborn flesh and loose it streams emerald, sapphire, mauve and heliotrope, sustained on currents of cold interstellar wind, winding, coiling, simply swirling, writhing in the skies a mysterious writing till,º after a myriad metamorphoses of symbol, it blazes, Alpha, a ruby and triangled sign upon the forehead of Taurus.
reminding Stephen of years before when they had been at school together in
Conmee's time. He asked about Glaucon, Alcibiades, Pisistratus. Where
were they now? Neither knew.
You have spoken of
the past and its phantoms, Stephen said. Why think of
them? If I callº them into life across the waters of Lethe will not the poor ghosts troop to my call? Who supposes it? I, Bous Stephanoumenos, bullockbefriending bard, am lord and giver of their life. He encircled his gadding hair with a coronal of vineleaves, smiling at Vincent. That answer and those leaves, Vincent said to him, will adorn you more fitly when something more, and greatly more, than a capful of light odes can call your genius father. All who wish you well hope this for you. All desire to see you bring forth the work you meditate. I heartily wish you may not fail them. O no, Vincent, Lenehan said, laying a hand on the shoulder near him, have no fear. He could not leave his mother an orphan. The young man's face grew dark. All could see how hard it was for him to be reminded of his promise and of his recent loss. He would have withdrawn from the feast had not the noise of voices allayed the smart. Madden had lost five drachmas on Sceptre for a whim of the rider's name: Lenehan as much more. He told them of the race. The flag fell and, huuh, off, scamper, the mare ran out freshly with O. Madden up. She was leading the field: all hearts were beating. Even Phyllis could not contain herself. She waved her scarf and cried: Huzzah! Sceptre wins! But in the straight on the run home when all were in close order the dark horse Throwaway drew level, reached, outstripped her. All was lost now. Phyllis was silent: her eyes were sad anemones. Juno, she cried, I am undone. But her lover consoled her and brought her a bright casket of gold in which lay some oval sugarplums which she partook. A tear fell: one only. A whacking fine whip, said Lenehan, is W. Lane. Four winners yesterday and three today. What rider is like him? Mount him on the camel or the boisterous buffalo the victory in a hack canter is still his. But let us bear it as was the ancient wont. Mercy on the luckless! Poor Sceptre! he said with a light sigh. She is not the filly that she was. Never, by this hand, shall we behold such another. By gad, sir, a queen of them. Do you remember her, Vincent? I wish you could have seen my queen today, Vincent said, how young she was and radiant (Lalage were scarce fair beside her) in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I do not know the right name of it. The chestnuts that shaded us were in bloom: the air drooped with their
persuasive odour and with pollen floating by us. In the sunny patches one might easily have cooked on a stone a batch of those buns with Corinth fruit in them that Periplepomenos sells in his booth near the bridge. But she had nought for her teeth but the arm with which I held her and in that she nibbled mischievously when I pressed too close. A week ago she lay ill, four days on the couch, but today she was free, blithe, mocked at peril. She is more taking then. Her posies too! Mad romp that sheº is, she had pulled her fill as we reclined together. And in your ear, my friend, you will not think who met us as we left the field. Conmee himself! He was walking by the hedge, reading, I think a brevier book with, I doubt not, a witty letter in it from Glycera or Chloe to keep the page. The sweet creature turned all colours in her confusion, feigning to reprove a slight disorder in her dress: a slip of underwood clung there for the very trees adore her. When Conmee had passed she glanced at her lovely echo in the little mirror she carries. But he had been kind. In going by he had blessed us. The gods too are ever kind, Lenehan said. If I had poor luck with Bass's mare perhaps this draught of his may serve me more propensely. He was laying his hand upon a winejar: Malachi saw it and withheld his act, pointing to the stranger and to the scarlet label. Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. His soul is far away. It is as painful perhaps to be awakened from a vision as to be born. Any object, intensely regarded, may be a gate of access to the incorruptible eon of the gods. Do you not think it, Stephen? Theosophos told me so, Stephen answered, whom in a previous existence Egyptian priests initiated into the mysteries of karmic law. The lords of the moon, Theosophos told me, an orangefiery shipload from planet Alpha of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and these were therefore incarnated by the rubycoloured egos from the second constellation.
However, as a matter of fact though, the preposterous surmise about him
being in some
description of a
other or mesmerised which was entirely
due to a
misconception of the shallowest character, was not the case at all. The
visual organs,º while the above was going
on, were at this juncture commencing
to exhibitº symptoms of animationº was as astute if not astuter than any man living and anybody that conjectured the contrary would have found themselves pretty speedily in the wrong shop. During the past four minutes or thereabouts he had been staring hard at a certain amount of number one Bass bottled by Messrs Bass and Co at Burton-on-Trent which happened to be situated amongst a lot of others right opposite to where he was and which was certainly calculated to attract anyone's remark on account of its scarlet appearance. He was simply and solely, as it subsequently transpired for reasons best known to himself, which putº quite an altogether different complexion on the proceedings, after the moment before's observations about boyhood days and the turf, recollecting two or three private transactions of his own which the other two were as mutually innocent of as the babe unborn. Eventually, however, both their eyes met and, as soon as it began to dawn on him that the other was endeavouring to help himself to the thing, he involuntarilyº determined to help him himself and so he accordingly took hold of the mediumsized glass recipient which contained the fluid sought after and made a capacious hole in it by pouring a lot of it out with, also at the same time,º however, a considerable degree of attentiveness in order not to upset any of the beer that was in it about the place.
The debate which ensued was in its scope and progress an epitome of the
course of life.
Neither place nor
council was lacking in dignity. The debaters were the keenest in the land,
the theme they were engaged on the loftiest and most vital. The high hall of
Horne's house had never beheld an assembly so representative and so varied
nor had the old rafters of that establishment ever listened to a language so
gallant scene in truth it made. Crotthers
was there at the
foot of the table in his striking Highland garb, his face glowing from the briny
airs of the Mull of Galloway. There too,º
opposite to him,º was Lynch whose
countenance bore already the stigmata of early depravity and
wisdom. Next the Scotchman was the place assigned to Costello, the eccentric,
while at his side was seated in stolid repose the squat form of Madden. The chair of the resident indeed
stood vacant before the hearth but on either flank of it the figure of Bannon in explorer's kit of tweed shorts and salted cowhide brogues contrasted sharply with the primrose elegance andº townbred manners of Malachi Roland St John Mulligan. Lastly at the head of the board was the young poet who found a refuge from his labours of pedagogy and metaphysical inquisition in the convivial atmosphere of Socratic discussion, while to right and left of him were accommodatedº the flippant prognosticator, fresh from the hippodrome, and that vigilant wanderer, soiled by the dust of travel and combat and stained by the mire of an indelible dishonour, but from whoseº steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or threat or degradation could ever efface the image of that voluptuous loveliness which the inspired pencil of Lafayette has limned for ages yet to come.
It had better be stated here and now at the
outset that the
perverted transcendentalism to which Mr S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.)
contentions would appear to prove him
directly counter to accepted scientific methods. Science, it cannot be too often
repeated, deals with tangible phenomena. The man of science like
the man in the
street has to face hardheaded facts
that cannot be
blinked and explain them as best he can. There may be, it is true, some
questionsº which science cannot answer
— at present — such as the first problem submitted by Mr L. Bloom
(Pubb. Canv.) regarding the future determination of sex. Must we accept the view
of Empedocles of
the right ovary
(the postmenstrual period, assert others)
is responsible for
the birth of males or are the too long neglected
nemasperms the differentiating factors or is it, as most embryologists incline
to opine, such as
Leopold and Valenti, a mixture of both?º
This would be tantamount to a cooperation (one of nature's favourite
devices) between the
formativus of the nemasperm on the one hand and on the other a happily
chosen position, succubitus felix, of the passive element. The other
problem raised by the same inquirer is scarcely less vital: infant mortality. It
is interesting because, as he pertinently remarks,
we are all born in the same way but we all
die in different ways. Mr M. Mulligan (Hyg. et Eug. Doc.) blames the sanitary conditions in which our greylunged citizens contract adenoidsº, pulmonary complaints etcº by inhaling the bacteria which lurk in dust. These factors, he alleges, and the revolting spectacles offered by our streets, hideous publicity posters, religious ministers of all denominations, mutilated soldiers and sailors, exposed scorbutic cardrivers, the suspendedº carcassesº of dead animals, paranoic bachelors and unfructified duennas — these, he said, were accountable for any and every fallingoff in the calibre of the race. Kalipedia, he prophesied, would soon be generally adopted and all the graces of life, genuinely good music, agreeable literature, light philosophy, instructive pictures, plastercast reproductions of the classical statues such as Venus and Apollo, artistic coloured photographs of prize babies, all these little attentions would enable ladies who were in a particular condition to pass the intervening months in a most enjoyable manner. Mr J. Crotthers (Disc. Bacc.) attributes some of these demises to abdominal trauma in the case of women workers subjected to heavy labours in the workshop and to marital discipline in the home but by far the vast majority to neglect, private or official, culminating in the exposure of newborn infants, the practice of criminal abortion or in the atrocious crime of infanticide. Although the former (we are thinking of neglect) is undoubtedly only too true the case he cites of nurses forgetting to count the sponges in the peritoneal cavity is too rare to be normative. In fact when one comes to look into it the wonder is that so many pregnancies and deliveries go off so well as they do, all things considered and in spite of our human shortcomings which often balk nature in her intentions. An ingenious suggestion is that thrown out by Mr V. Lynch (Bacc. Arith.) that both natality and mortality, as well as all other phenomena of evolution, tidal movements, lunar phases, blood temperatures, diseases in general, everything, in fine, in nature's vast workshop from the extinction of some remote sun to the blossoming of one of the countless flowers which beautify our public parks is subject to a law of numeration as yet unascertained. Still the plain straightforward question why a child of normally healthy parents
and seemingly a healthy child and properly looked after succumbs unaccountably in early childhood (though other children of the same marriage do not) must certainly,º in the poet's words, give us pause.º Nature, we may rest assured, has her own good and cogentº reasons for whatever she does and in all probability such deaths are due to some law of anticipation by which organisms in which morbous germs have taken up their residence (modern science has conclusively shown that only the plasmic substance can be said to be immortal) tend to disappear at an increasingly earlier stage of development, an arrangementº which, though productive of pain to some of our feelings (notablyº the maternal),º is nevertheless, some of us think, in the long run beneficial to the race in general in securing thereby the survival of the fittest. Mr S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.) remark (or should it be called an interruption?) that an omnivorous being which canº masticate, deglute, digest and apparently pass through the ordinary channel with pluterperfect imperturbability such multifarious aliments as cancrenous femalesº emaciated by parturition, corpulent professional gentlemen, not to speak of jaundiced politicians and chlorotic nuns,º might possibly find gastric relief in an innocent collation of staggering bob, reveals as nought else could and in a very unsavoury light the tendency above alluded to. For the enlightenment of those who are not so intimately acquainted with the minutiae of the municipal abattoir as this morbidminded esthete and embryo philosopher who for all his overweening bumptiousness in things scientific can scarcely distinguish an acid from an alkali prides himself on being, it should perhaps be stated that staggering bob in the vile parlance of our lowerclassº licensed victuallers signifies the cookable and eatable flesh of a calf newly dropped from its mother. In a recent public controversy with Mr L. Bloom (Pubb. Canv.) which took place in the commons' hall of the National Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and 31 Holles street, of which, as is well known, Drº A. Horne (Lic. in Midw., F.K.Q.C.P.I.) is the able and popular master, he is reported by eyewitnesses as having stated that once a woman has let the cat into the bag (an esthetic allusion, presumably, to one of the most complicated and marvellous of all
nature's processes, the act of sexual congress) she must let it out again or give it life, as he phrased it, to save her own. At the risk of her own was the telling rejoinder of his interlocutor none the less effective for the moderate and measured tone in which it was delivered.
Meanwhile the skill and patience of the physician had brought about a happy
It had been a weary
weary while both for patient and doctor. All that surgical skill could do
was done and the
brave woman had manfully helped. She had. She had
fought the good
fight and now she was
very very happy.
Those who have
passed on, who have gone before, are happy too as they gaze down and smile
upon the touching scene.
at her as she reclines there with the
motherlight in her
longing hunger for baby fingers
(a pretty sight it
is to see), in the
first bloom of her new motherhood, breathing a silent prayer of thanksgiving
to One above, the
And as her loving eyes behold her babe she wishes only one blessing
more,º to have her
Doady there with
her to share her
joy, to lay in his arms
that mite of
God's clay, the
fruit of their
lawful embraces. He is older now
(you and I may
whisper it) and a trifle stooped in the shoulders yet in the whirligig of years
a grave dignity has come to the conscientious
secondº accountant of the Ulster bank,
College Green branch.
O Doady, loved one
of old, faithful lifemate now, it may never be again, that faroff time of
the roses! With the
old shake of her pretty head she recalls those days.
beautiful now across the mist of years! But their children are grouped in her
imagination about the bedside, hers and his, Charley, Mary Alice, Frederick
Albert (if he had lived), Mamy, Budgy (Victoria Frances), Tom, Violet Constance
Louisa, darling little Bobsy (called after our famous hero of the South African
war, lord Bobs of Waterford and Candahar) and now this last pledge of their
union, a Purefoy
if ever there was one, with the true Purefoy nose.
will be christened Mortimer Edward after the influential third cousin of Mr
Purefoy in the Treasury Remembrancer's office, Dublin Castle. And so time
wags on: but father
Cronion has dealt
lightly here. No, let no sigh break from that bosom, dear gentle Mina. And
Doady, knock the ashes
from your pipe, the seasoned briar you still fancy when the curfew rings for you (may it be the distant day!)º and dout the light whereby you read in the Sacred Book for the oil too has run low and so with a tranquil heart to bed, to rest. He knows and will call in His own good time. You too have fought the good fight and played loyally your man's part. Sir, to you my hand. Well done, thou good and faithful servant!
There are sins or (let us call them as the world calls them) evil memories which are hidden away by man in the darkest places of the heart but they abide there and wait. He may suffer their memory to grow dim, let them be as though they had not been andº all but persuade himself that they were not or at least were otherwiseº. Yet a chance word will call them forth suddenly and they will rise up to confront him in the most various circumstances, a vision or a dream, or while timbrel and harp soothe his senses or amid the cool silver tranquilityº of the evening or at the feast at midnight when he is now filled with wine. Not to insult over him will the vision come as over one that lies under her wrath, not for vengeance to cut him off from the living but shrouded in the piteous vesture of the past, silent, remote, reproachful.
The stranger still regarded on the face before him a slow recession of that
false calm there, imposed, as it seemed, by
habit or some
studied trick, upon words so embittered as to accuse in their speaker an
unhealthiness, a flair, for the cruder things of life. A scene
itself in the observer's memory,
evoked, it would
seem, by a word of so natural a homeliness
as if those days
were really present there (as some thought)
with their immediate
shaven space of
lawn one soft May evening, the
grove of lilacs at
Roundtown, purple and white, fragrant slender spectators of the game but
with much real
interest in the pellets as they
run slowly forward
over the sward or collide and stop, one by its fellow, with a brief
alert shock. And
yonder about that
grey urn where the water moves at times in thoughtful
you saw another as
Atty, Tiny and their darker friend with
notº what of arresting in her pose
then, Our Lady of
the Cherries, a
brace of them
pendent from an ear, bringing out the foreign
warmth of the skin so daintily against the cool ardent fruit. A lad of four or five in linseywoolsey (blossomtime but there will be cheer in the kindly hearth when ere long the bowls are gathered and hutched) is standing on the urn secured by that circle of girlish fond hands. He frowns a little just as this young man does now with a perhaps too conscious enjoyment of theº danger but must needs glance at whiles towards where his mother watches from the piazzetta giving upon the flowerclose with a faint shadow of remoteness or of reproach (alles Vergänglicheº) in her glad look.
Mark this farther and remember. The end comes suddenly. Enter that antechamber of birth where the studious are assembled and note their faces. Nothing, as it seems, there of rash or violent. Quietude of custody rather, befitting their station in that house, the vigilant watch of shepherds and of angels about a cribº in Bethlehem of Juda long ago. But as before the lightning the serried stormclouds, heavy with preponderant excess of moisture, in swollen masses turgidly distended, compass earth and sky in one vast slumber, impending above parched field and drowsy oxen and blighted growth of shrub and verdure till in an instant a flash rives their centres and with the reverberation of the thunder the cloudburst pours its torrent, so and not otherwiseº was the transformation, violent and instantaneous, upon the utterance of the Word.
my lord Stephen,
giving the cry,º and a tag and bobtail
of all them after,
at heels,º with a universal grabbing at
Zermatt alpenstocks and
what not. A
dedale of lusty
youth, noble every
student there. Nurse Callan taken aback in the hallway cannot stay them nor
smiling surgeon coming downstairs with news of placentation ended,
a full pound if a
hark him on. The
door! It is open?
They are out
for a minute's
race, all bravely
legging it, Burke's of Denzille and Holles
goal. Dixon follows,
giving them sharp
language but raps
out an oath, he too, and on. Bloom stays with nurse a thought to send a kind word to happy mother and
nurseling up there. Doctor Diet and Doctor Quiet. Looks she too not other now? Ward of watching in Horne's house has told its tale in that washedoutº pallor. Then all being gone, a glance of motherwit helping, he whispers close in going: Madam, when comesº the storkbird for thee?
The air without is
essence celestial, glisteningº
on Dublin stone
coelum. God's air, the Allfather's air, scintillant
Breathe it deep into
heaven, Theodore Purefoy,
thou hast done a
doughty deed and
Thou art, I vow,
barring none in
In her lay a
possibility which thou hast fructified with thy
Cleave to her!
Toil on, labour
like a very
bandog and let scholarment and all Malthusiasts go hang. Thou art all their
daddies, Theodore. Art
thy load, bemoiled
with butcher's bills at home and
thine!) in the countinghouseº? Head up!
For every newbegotten thou shalt gather thy
homer of ripe
wheat. See, thy fleece is drenched. Dost envy
there with his
Joan? A canting
jay and a rheumeyed curdog is all their progeny.
Pshaw, I tell
thee! He is a
mule, a dead
without vim or
stamina, not worth
a cracked kreutzer.
population! No, say I! Herod's
slaughter of the
innocents were the truer name. Vegetables, forsooth, and
cohabitation! Give her beefsteaks, red, raw, bleeding! She is a hoary
pandemonium of ills, enlarged glands, mumps, quinsy, bunions,
kidney, Derbyshire neck, warts, bilious attacks, gallstones, cold feet,
varicose veins. A truce to
jeremies and all such congenital
music. Twenty years of it, regret them not. With thee it was not as with
many that will and would and wait and
neverº do. Thou sawest thy America, thy
lifetask, and didst charge
to cover like
bison. How saith
melkest Du. Nun
trinkst Du die süsseº
Euters. See! It
displodes for thee
in abundance. Drink, man, an udderful! Mother's milk, Purefoy, the milk of
human kin, milk too of those burgeoning
stars overhead, rutilant in thin rainvapour, punch milk, such as those rioters will quaff in their guzzlingden, milk of madness, the honeymilk of Canaan's land. Thy cow's dug was tough, what? Ay, but her milk is hot and sweet and fattening. No dollop this but thick rich bonnyclaber. To her, old patriarch! Pap! Per deam Partulam et Pertundam nunc est bibendum!
All off for a buster, armstrong, holleringº down the street. Bonafides. Where you slep las nigh? Timothy of the battered naggin. Like ole Billyo. Any brollies or gumboots in the fambly? Where the Henry Nevil's sawbones and ole clo? Sorra one o me knows. Hurrah there, Dix! Forward toº the ribbon counter. Where's Punch? All serene. Jay, look at the drunken minister coming out of the maternity hospal!º Benedicat vos omnipotens Deus, Pater et Filius. A make, mister. The Denzille lane boys. Hell, blast ye! Scoot. Righto, Isaacs, shove em out of the bleeding limelight. Yous join uz, dear sir? No hentrusion in life. Lou heap good man. Allee samee disº bunch. En avant,º mes enfants!º Fire away number one on the gun. Burke's! Burke's!º Thence they advanced five parasangs. Slattery's mounted foot. Where'sº that bleeding awfur? Parson Steve, apostates' creed! No, no. Mulligan! Abaft there! Shove ahead. Keep a watch on the clock. Chuckingout time. Mullee! What's on you? Ma mère m'a mariée. British Beatitudes! Retamplan Digidi Boum Boum. Ayes have it. To be printed and bound at the Druiddrum press by two designing females. Calf covers of pissedon green. Last word in art shades. Most beautiful book come out of Ireland my time. Silentium! Get a spurt on. Tention. Proceed to nearest canteen and there annex liquor stores. March! Tramp, tramp, tramp the boys are (atitudes!) parching. Beer, beef, business, bibles, bulldogs, battleships, buggery and bishops. Whether on the scaffold high. Beerbeef trample the bibles. When for Irelandear. Trample the trampellers. Thunderation! Keep the durned millingtary step. We fall. Bishops boosebox. Halt! Heave to. Rugger. Scrum in. No touch kicking. Wow, my tootsies! You hurt? Most amazingly sorry!
here do? Proud
possessor of damnall.
Bet to the ropes. Me nantee saltee. Not a red at me this
week gone. Yours? Mead of our fathers for the Übermenschº. Dittoh. Five number ones. You, sir? Ginger cordial. Chase me, the cabby's caudle. Stimulate the caloric. Winding of his ticker. Stopped short never to go again when the old. Absinthe for me, savvy? Caramba! Have an eggnog or a prairie oyster. Enemy?º Avuncular's got my timepiece. Ten to. Obligated awful. Don't mention it. Got a pectoral trauma, eh, Dix? Pos fact. Got bet be a boomblebee whenever he wus settin sleepin in hes bit garten. Digs up near the Mater. Buckled he is. Know his dona? Yup, sartin, I do. Full of a dure. See her in her dishybilly. Peels off a credit. Lovey lovekin. None of your lean kine, not much. Pull down the blind, love. Two Ardilauns. Same here. Look slippery. If you fall don't wait to get up. Five, seven, nine. Fine! Got a prime pair of mincepies, no kid. And her take me to rests and her anker of rum. Must be seen to be believed. Your starving eyes and allbeplastered neck you stole my heart, O gluepot. Sir? Spud again the rheumatiz? All poppycock, you'll scuse me saying. For the hoi polloi. I vear thee beest a gert voolº. Well, doc? Back fro Lapland? Your corporosity sagaciating O K? How's the squaws and papooses? Womanbodyº after going on the straw? Stand and deliver. Password. There's hair. Ours the white death and the ruddy birth. Hi! Spit in your own eye, boss. Mummer's wire. Cribbed out of Meredith. Jesified orchidised polycimical jesuit! Aunty mine's writing Pa Kinch. Baddybad Stephen lead astray goodygood Malachi.
Hurroo! Collar the
leather, youngun. Roun wi the nappy. Here,
Jockº braw Hielentman's your
barleybree. Lang may
your lum reek and your kailpot boil! My
Here's to us.
How's that? Leg
before wicket. Don't stain my brandnew sitinems.
Give's a shake of
you there. Catch
seed to carry away. Twig?
silence. Every cove to his gentry mort.
bad girl from the town of Mullingar. Tell her I was
axing at her.
Hauding Sara by the wame. On the road to Malahide. Me? If she who seduced me had
left but the name.
What do you want for
ninepence?º Machree, Macruiskeen.
Smutty Moll for a mattress jig. And a pull all togetherº. Ex!
Waiting, guvnor? Most deciduously. Bet your boots on. Stunned like seeing as how no shiners is acoming.º Underconstumble? He'veº got the chink ad lib. Seed near free poun on un a spell ago a said war hisn. Us come right in on your invite, see? Up to you, matey. Out with the oof. Two bar and a wing. You larn that go off of theyº there Frenchy bilks?º Won't wash here for nuts nohow. Lil chile velly solly. Ise de cutest colour coon down our side. Gawds teruth, Chawley. We are nae fou.º We're nae thaº fou. Au reservoir, Mossoo. Tanks you.
'Tis, sure. What say? In the speakeasy. Tight. I shee you, shir. Bantam, two days teetee. Bowsing nowt but claretwine. Garn! Have a glint, do. Gum, I'm jiggered. And been to barber he have. Too full for words. With a railway bloke.º How come you so? Opera he'd like? Rose of Castile. Rows of cast. Police! Some H2O for a gent fainted. Look at Bantam's flowers. Gemini, he's going to holler. The colleen bawn, my colleen bawn. O, cheese it! Shut his blurry Dutch oven with a firm hand. Had the winner today till I tipped him a dead cert. The ruffin cly the nab of Stephen Hand as give me the jady coppaleenº. He strike a telegramboy paddock wire big bug Bass to the depot. Shove him a joey and grahamise. Mare on form hot order. Guinea to a goosegog. Tell a cram,º that. Gospeltrue. Criminal diversion? I think that yes. Sure thing. Land him in chokeechokee if the harman beck copped the game. Madden back Madden's a maddening back. O, lust, our refuge and our strength. Decamping. Must you go? Off to mammy. Stand by. Hide my blushes someone. All in if he spots me. Comeahome, our Bantam. Horryvar, mong vioo. Dinna forget the cowslips for hersel. Cornfide. Wha gev ye thon colt? Pal to pal. Jannock. Of John Thomas, her spouse. No fake, old man Leo. S'elp me, honest injun. Shiver my timbers if I had. There's a great big holy friar. Vyfor you no me tell? Vel, I ses, if that aint a sheeny nachez, vel, I vil get misha mishinnah. Throughº yerd our lord, Amen.
You move a
motion? Steve boy,
you're going it
one stooder of
most extreme poverty and
terminate one expensive inaugurated libation? Give's a
Landlord, landlord, have you good wine, staboo? Hoots, mon, aº wee drap to pree. Cut and come again. Right.º Boniface! Absinthe the lot. Nos omnes biberimus viridum toxicum diabolus capiat posterioria nostria. Closingtime, gents. Eh? Rome boose for the Bloom toff. I hear you say onions? Bloo? Cadges ads?º Photo's papli, by all that's gorgeous. Play low, pardner. Slide. Bonsoir la compagnie. And snares of the poxfiend. Where's the buck and Namby Amby?º Skunked? Leg bail. Aweel, ye maun e'en gang yer gates. Checkmate. King to tower. Kind Kristyann wilº yu helpº yung man hoose frend tuk bungalo kee to find plais whear to lay crown ofº his hed 2 night. Crikeyº, I'm about sprung. Tarnally dog gone my shins if this beent the bestest puttiest longbreakº yet. Item, curate, couple of cookies for this child. Cot's plood and prandypalls, none! Not a pite of sheeses? Thrust syphilis down to hell and with him those other licensed spirits. Time. Who wander through the world. Health all. Àº la vôtre!
guy in the
Rhodes. Peep at his wearables.
What's he got?
Bovril, by James.
Wants it real bad.
D'ye ken bare
Rawthere! Thought he
had a deposit of lead in his penis.
the Bread we calls
him. That, sir, was
Man all tattered and torn that married a maiden all forlorn. Slung her hook, she
did. Here see lost love. Walking Mackintosh of lonely canyon. Tuck and turn in.
Nix for the
hornies. Pardon? Seenº him today at a
runefal? Chum o yourn
passed in his
checks? Ludamassy! Pore
piccaninniesº! Thou'll no be telling
me thot, Pold veg! Did ums
crytears cos frienº Padney was took off
in black bag?º Of all de darkies Massa
Pat was verra best. I never see the like since I was born. Tiens, tiens,
but it is well sad, that, my faith, yes. O get,
rev on a
gradient one in
nine. Live axle
drives are souped. Lay you two to one
Jenatzy licks him
ruddy well hollow.
Jappies? High angle
fire, inyah! Sunk by war specials. Be worse for him, says he, nor any
Rooshian. Time all.
There's eleven of
them. Get ye gone. Forward,
Night. Night. May
the Excellent One,º your soul this night ever tremendously conserve.
Your attention! We're nae thaº fou. The Leith police dismisseth us. The least tholice. Ware hawks for the chap puking. Unwell in his abominable regions. Yooka. Night. Mona, my thrue love. Yook. Mona, my own love. Ook.
Lynch! Hey? Sign on long o me. Denzille lane this way. Change here for Bawdyhouse. We two, she said, will seek the kips where shady Mary is. Righto, any old time. Laetabuntur in cubilibus suis. You coming long? Whisper, who the sooty hell's the johnny in the black duds? Hush! Sinned against the light and even now that day is at hand when he shall come to judge the world by fire. Pflaap! Ut implerentur scripturae. Strike up a ballad. Then outspake medical Dick to his comrade medical Davy. Christicle, who's this excrement yellow gospeller on the Merrion hall? Elijah is coming. Washedº in the Blood of the Lamb. Come on, you winefizzling ginsizzling booseguzzlingº existences! Come on, you dog-gone, bullnecked, beetlebrowed, hogjowled, peanutbrained, weaseleyed fourflushers, false alarms and excess baggage! Come on, you triple extract of infamy! Alexander J. Christ Dowie,º that's yanked to glory most half this planet from 'Frisco Beach to Vladivostok. The Deity aint no nickel dime bumshow. I put it to you that he's on the square and a corking fine business propositionº. He's the grandest thing yet and don't you forget it. Shout salvation in King Jesus. You'll need to rise precious early, you sinner there, if you want to diddle the Almighty God. Pflaaaap! Not half. He's got a coughmixture with a punch in it for you, my friend, in his backpocket. Just you try it on.