Early draft, August 1921, draft level 1

MS NLI.14 Draft details

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Yes because he never did a thing like that |1as1| ask to get his breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs so either since the City Arms hotel |1when he used to be pretending to be |aill laid upa| with a sick voice |adoing the usual tragic His Highnessa| to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that |adied &a| never left us a farthing with her dog that was always |asmelling my fura| edging to get under my petticoats1| |1if ever he got anything serious the matter with him it's muchº for them to go in to |ahave to drive it into him for a montha| hospital where everything is clean I hate bandaging & dosing |awhen he cut his toea| |ait was all his fault of coursea|1| |1he came somewhere I know by his appetite |aanyway love it's not or he'd be off his feeda|1| so either it was one of those |1night1| women if it was down there he was really and the hotel story |1he made up1| a pack of lies |1to hide it1| |1only for I hate having a long goster in bed1| or else it was some |1person little bitch1| he got inº someway or picked up somewhere |1on the sly |aif they knew him as well as I doa|1| yes because the day Dignam died he was writing a letter and then he covered it |1up1| with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very probably that was it to someone who |1thought thinks1| she had a softy |1in him1| because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to forty so as to wheedle any money she can out of him |1no fool like an old fool1| and then kissing my bottom was to hide it |1not that I care who he does it with |aor knew before that way but I'd like to find outa| so long as I don't have |athe two ofa| them under my nose all the time like that slut, that Mary, padding |aupa| her false bottom to excite him |asinging about the place |balso in the W.C.b| of course she knew she was too well offa| and stealing my potatoes and oysters |a2/6 a dozena| for her aunt, if you please, common robbery, |ait takes me to find out thingsa| O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters I told her what I thought of her |a|bbad enough to get the smell of those {other} |cpaintedc| women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting him to come near meb| I couldn't even touch him if I thought he was with a dirty |bliar andb| sloven like that one |bthen propos suggesting she cd eat at our table at Xmas day ah no thank you not in my houseb|a|1| yes because he couldn't |1possibly1| do without it |1so that1| long |1so he must do it somewhere1| and the last time he came on my bottom was the night Boylan |1was squeezing my hand gave my hand a great squeeze1| singing the young May moon she's beaming love going along by the Tolka with the full moon because he's he has an idea about him and me in any case God knows he's a change in a way not to be always |1wearing the same old hat1| doing that frigging |1drawing out the thing by the hour questions wd you do this that & the other |abecause I told him about some dean or bishop was |bsitting beside meb| in the garden of the jew's temple a stranger |band he tired me out with questionsb| what place was it and so on |band he tired me out with statuesb|a| with a bishop yes with the coalman yes I would who are you thinking of think of the German emperor yes think I'm him |aencouraging him making him worse than he is he ought to give it up now at his agea|1| simply ruination
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and no satisfaction |1in it1| |1for the woman |apretending to |blike itb| comea| having to finish it herself makes yr lips pale1| anyhow it's done now with all the talk |1of the world1| about it people make |1|ait's only the first time after that it's just ordinarya| why can't you kiss a man |ayou like openlya| |asometimes love to wildlya| |awhen you feel that way |bso niceb| all over you |bcan't help yourselfb|a| everybody does then I hate that confession when I used to goº Father Corrigan he touched me where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but where on your person on the leg |awas ita| high up yes, rather high up, was it where you sit down yes.1| I wonder is he awake |1|aora| thinking of me |aor dreaming am I in ita| |ahe smelt of some kind of drink |xhe smelt of some liqueurx|a|1| I suppose not because |1bef he w had all he could do to keep himself from falling asleep after the potted meat sandwiches and that claret yes because |aI was sound asleep myself the moment I popped into bed till that thunder and lightning wakened me up God be merciful to usa|1| he must have come three or four times in me |1at least1| |1with that |adetermineda| vicious look in his eyesº1| with that tremendous big brute of a thing he has |1think the vein or whatever it is was going to burst1| like iron or some kind of a thick bar standing all the time |1after I took off my things after an hour's dressing1| |1because no1| I never in all my life felt anyone had one |1like the size of1| that |1to make you feel so full1| like a stallion driving it up into you |1because that's they all want out of you1| still he hasn't such a lot of spunk in him considering the size so much the better in case any of it wasn't washed out properly nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if someone gave them a touch of it themselves they'd know what I went through with Rudy no-one would believe and |1Josie Powell Mina Purefoy1| and her husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child or twins once a year as regular as the clock |1supposed to be healthy perhaps if I had another1| I suppose it was meeting |1her Josie Powell1| and the funeral set him off |1they I know they1| were spooning a bit when I came on the scene |1|abecause she was always embracing me Josie when Poldy was there |bbefore we were engagedb| meaning him |bof course I don't wonder because he was so handsome then trying to look like Byron I said I liked & he was |cafterwards though she didn't like it so much the day I was laughing about nothing you're always in good humour, she said must have grigged herc|b|a| talking about her being a wallflower and that was why he we had a sort of a row about politics |aabout |bour Ourb| Lord being the first socialist and a carpenter still he knows a fi lot of mixed up things especially about the body & the insidea| it was after that he bought the gloves |xI could easily win him back O quite easily |aif I wanted toa| |aas I often finished a rowa| make him do it first before going outx|1| |1well if he wants her I suppose he can have her or let him go and try it with her give him steak & onions first see if she'd like it1| if that's his taste not that her dotty husband cares imagine having to get into bed with a lunatic like that what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used |1before he got up on her to get into bed with his muddy boots on him when the maggot takes him what a man not the one way everyone goes mad1| O |1Patience above sweetheart May1| wouldn't
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a thing like that simply bore you stiff ? to extinction? too, actually too stupid to take off his boots?, what cd you make of a man like that? rather die 20 times over than marry another of them of course he'd never find another woman to put up with him like me I do |1take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband what for I wonder1| still it's much better to be like them not always empty only for they're all so different Boylan talking about |1the shape of1| my foot now how did that excite him |1|aSaid that I what did he say I coulda| I cd give 9 points |ato ina| 10 to Katty Lanner and win what does that mean I asked him but I forget what he said because the stop press boy just passed1| |1and that curlyheaded shopman in |a—'s the Maypole dairya| that so polite to me I noticed him when I was tasting the Danish butter so I took my time |aBartell d'Arcy too he used to make fun of when he kissed me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounod's Ave Maria he was pretty hot too my voice he said if you can believe him then he said wasn't it terrible to do that then in a place like that I didn't see anything so terrible in it |bI'll tell about him that some day not now surprise himb|a|1| and Poldy begging me to give him a bit of my drawers cut out that was the evening coming along |1Leinster road Kenilworth square1| he kissedº in the eye of my glove |1that I let him keep to think of me |aas if I forgot ita| when I saw him slip it into his pocket1| of course he's mad on drawers when he saw me from behind in the rain |1I saw him first felt him looking on my neck1| where was I coming from and he pestered me to say yes and slipped in the wet only I held him up of course glad of any excuse to touch me |1on my openwork sleeve1| drawers |1he was mad about1| drawers all the time he made me laugh and he wanted me to lift my |1skirts orange petticoats with the sunray pleats |xwith nobody about you'd never know what freakx|1| if anyone I knew saw me with the old |1things princess slip with the ironmould mark between1| I had on that was the first night I touched |1him his trousers1| outside |1he was crazy simply1| |1he was shaking all over off his feet1| and he thanked me and wanted to kneel in the wet well men are the most extraordinary then the letter he wrote me with all those words in it |1|amaking made it so awkward when we met then asking have I offended you for a quarter of an houra| asking me if I knew what they meant of course I had to say no meaning yes then writing every day1| how could he have the face to any woman after his company manners still I liked the way he made love because he knew how to take a woman
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when he kissed my heart at Dolphin's barn yes makes you feel like nothing on earth |1|xand going away he kissed the door of our housex|1| poetry and O I remember that still I hope he'll come on Monday as he said |1at |a½ past three |b½ past three or four at the same time as today fourb|a| good hour I hate people coming in on you at all hours and no-one to say I'm out peeping out through the blind to yawn with nerves when I knew his knock must have been late because it was after three when I saw the Dedaluses coming from school when I threw the penny to that old sailor and |aI hadn't even changed I had only put on my new shifts thena|1| before we go to Belfast this day week |1all the nicer coming back1| Poldy better stay at home must get my fan mended so that he can buy me a nice present in Belfast |1they've lovely underlinen up there |aor a nice one of those kimonosa| |aexciting toa| go round shopping with him |abuying those things in a new city better leave off my ring |bit's a job getting it want to keep turning it to get itº the knuckle thereb| or they might |bput in tell the police or write tob| the papers |bbell it round the townb| but they'll think he's my husband |xif they knew what wd they sayx| O let them go & smother themselvesa|1| he has plenty of money |1and he's not a marrying man so someone better get it out of him1| if I cd find out |1I looked well of course in the thing you can never see the expression in a mirror1| whether he loves me or not besides lying on me all the time like that with his big hipbones and he's heavy too a stylish tie he |1always1| had on and silk socks |1lovely stuff |ain that other suit he has in that suit he had ona| the herringbone tweed one1| so he's well off |1but he was like a devil for a few minutes after he came back with the stoppress |atearing up the ticketsa| because he lost over the race he could have won 20 pounds he said & half he put on for me1| always hanging out of them for money in a restaurant |1we have to say look thankful for our cup of tea even as a great compliment1| the way the world is divided in any case if it's going to go on I want at least two other |1good1| chemises and but I don't know what kind of drawers he likes I don't think he likes any didn't he say then the other pair of |1good silkette1| stockings is laddered |1after 1 day1| |1one of those |acheapa| kidfitting corsets I'd like out of the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the hips |awhat did they say |babout that unsightly broad appearance across the lower backb| they give a delightful figure linea|1| garters I have the violet pair he bought me |1I could have brought them to — this morning |a& made them change thema| only not to run the risk of walking into him & spoiling everything1| that's all he bought for me out of the cheque he got on the first O no there was the |1face1| lotion |1I told him to get made up1| and God knows whether he forgot it and four handkerchiefs about 6/- altogether sure you can't get on without clothes men don't look at you & women walk on you |1for the four years more I have of |ait lifea| up to 35 but no I'm thirty I'll be thirtythree in September O well up to forty look at |alook at that Mrsa| Mrs Galbraith she's much older than me |aI saw her when I was out last week her beauty's on the wane she was a lovely creature head of hair down to her waista| and look at Mrs Langtry a beauty up to what |athe Jersey lily the king was in love with I suppose he's the same as the others only the name a kinga| |athere was some funny story about the |bjealousb| husband what was it he went an oyster knife he went no he was made her wear a tin thing round her and the prince of Wales what did he ah yes he had the oyster knife |bCan't be true a thing like that because how cd she go to the chamber when she wanted tob|a|1| he ought to chuck that Freeman with its the paltry few shillings he gets and go into an office or something |1where he'd get regular money1| of course he prefers to be
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mooching about when he could have been in Cuffe's still only for what he said to him then sending me to try and patch it up |1I cd have got him promoted there1| he gave me a great eye once or twice only I felt rotten with the old |1 rubbishy1| dress |1that I lost the lead out of the sleeves rag with no cut in it |aand now they're coming in to fashion againa| I bought simply to please him |aI should have gone pity I changed my mind & wenta| to Todd Burns as I said not McBirney's rummage sale lot of trash1| |1He thinks he knows all about dress if I went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me yes take that one |afidgetting on pins and needlesa| about the |ashopgirla| girl |aand she as insolent as she cd be with her smirka| if we're not giving you too much trouble what she's there for |atill I stared her out of ita| |xstiff he was but when |ahe lookeda| the second time |ahe lookeda| he changedx|1| I had on but I could know what he was driving at looking |1hard1| at my chest |1so hard1| without making it too marked for the first time.

I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long |1he made me thirsty1| bubbies he calls them I had to laugh this one anyhow yes it is I'll get him to keep that up |1and I'll take those eggs beaten up with Marsala fatten them out for him1| what are all those veins |1& things1| for curious the way it's made |1two the same in case of twins |athey're supposed to be beautiful placed up there when he wanted me to pose for some rich fellow with no |bfor nakedb| when in Holles street when he lost the job in Hely's and I was playing in the Coffee Palacea|1| I had a great breast of milk with Rudy from the belladonna |1all swollen out |athe morning that sick looking student that used to be squinting in nearly saw me only washing only for I snapped up the towel to my facea|1| used to hurt me that machine was no good till I got Poldy to milk them into the tea he wanted to |1do it milk me someone ought to put him in the budget for the things he |aif I cd only remember |boneb| half & write it in a booka|1| he's mad like goat's milk he said it was yes and the skin feels |1this one not so much1| much smoother O much an hour he was at them by the clock I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch myself I wish he was here |1now someone to let yrself go with1| when he made me |1come spend |aI'll try to dream ita|1| the 2nd time with his finger |1tickling1| in my hole behind |1|aGod I wanted to shout out all kinds of things |bfuck shitb| |bwho knows the way he'd take it they're not all like Poldy |cI noticed the contrast when he —c|b| want to know a man better though |bI gave my eyes that look with my hair a bit loose at the moment and my tongue just between my lipsb|a| I was coming for about five minutes |aI had to hug him after O Lorda|1| Friday one Saturday two O Lord I can't wait till Monday
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There's a train somewhere whistling the poor men that have to be out all time |1the1| night in those roasting engines stifling it was today I'm glad |1I burned all those old Freemans and Photo Bits |ahave him asking where's last year's papera|1| I took those overcoats out of the hall making the place hotter than it is that rain was lovely I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar O Lord the heat there |1and the glare of the rock standing up in it like a giant |awith the poplars all whitehota| |x& mosquito netsx| and the rainwater smelling in |athe thosea| tanks |xwatching the sun all the timex|1| weltering down on you |1faded all the |afew twoa| nice blouses frock father's friend Mr |a& Mrsa| Stanhope sent me from |aLondon the B. Marché Parisa| what a shame my dear Doggerina she called me wrote in it |xa p.c.x| |abecause I cd take off the dog barkinga| she was very nice |ato me so was he she showed me how to settle my hair at the back when I put it up |band how to tie a knot on a thread with the one handb| & gave me the Moonstone to read that was the first of Wilkie Collins I read The Moonstone, East Lynne I read The Shadow of Ashlydyat by Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar and by Lord Lytton Eugene Aram & Molly Bawn by Mrs Hungerford on a/c of name |bI don't like books with my name in it too unreal like that one Poldy he brought me about somebody in Flanders Moll she was a whore & a shoplifterb|a| had a jolly go hot bath enjoyed it |afeel a very clean dog nowa| wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be back in G |aand hear you sing |band have tea with those scrumptious currant cakes and the raspberry wafers which I adoreb|, Concone's is the name of the exercises and Wogger bought me two of those newfashioned kinds of |bdresses shawlsb| |bsome word I couldn't readb| that I wore last night to take the newness out of it they tear for the least thing but are very amusinga| they get torn for the least things but are very amusing yrs affly |aBe sure to start the breathing exercises I showed youa| he almost made love to me too he held down that wire for me to step over |aat that bullfighta| these clothes we have to wear |ayoua| can't do a thing in them run or swim that's why I was afraid1| |1of course they never came back as they said always going away and the sea |awith the waves and the boats rockinga| and forgot all about them I suppose they're dead long ago |apeople are always travelling then our turn camea| |ashe kissed me going away didn't I cry I believe I did or near it she had a gorgeous dress for the ship then I remember I went up the Windmill Hill with the spyglassa| of course I was all to myself then a girl1| stuck to the chair when I got up and the bugs swarming smell of all those soldiers about with their messtins |1and the sight of those officers off the troopship |aon shore leavea| make you seasick1| never a letter from a soul except the few I posted to myself not that I get many now |1days like years sometimes I cd fight with my nails that bored1| still who except his today and Milly who wrote to me last when Mrs XYZ it's a nuisance having to answer and he always tells me the wrong things to say like writing a big long speech he I hope he'll write me longer |1if it's a thing he really likes me1| next time I wish somebody would write me a loveletter true or not Mulvey's was the first I got señorita he called me I suppose he thought I must be Spanish they all did he was the 1st man |1ever1| kissed me |1under the Moorish wall1| I didn't know what he meant when he put his tongue in my mouth first the day the evening we were lying down near the Firtree cove behind O'Hara's tower |1wild place cd do what you liked1| he wanted to touch mine with his only for a moment but I wouldn't let him for
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fear of anything you never know |1& then they're done with you in a way1| how did we finish O yes I remember he did it into my handkerchief with his eyes shut |1I pretended not to be excited1| still he was shy all the same |1I liked making him awkward1| when I unbuttoned him and took his out they're all buttons men down the middle |1I often wanted to fire his pistol but he wdn't let me1| bu what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it I think so a lieutenant he was what was he like fair little moustache I remember he said he'd come back too and I promised to let him do it to me if he came back & I was married I'd let him block me now if I met him perhaps he's dead too or killed or a captain or what would he remember me if |1it's nearly 20 yrs ago1| yes if I said firtree cove he would I wouldn't know though but I might recognise him |1he had a soft laughing kind of a voice English |aso I went round to the whatyoucallit |beverything was whatyoucallitb|a| if he came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes to guess who1| he's young still about forty I suppose now he may be married |1we had great fun running along |athe Willisa| road under the trees to Europa Pt |azigzagging twistinga| in & out then he went to |aIndia Southamptona| he was to write I went up w Windmill hill to the flats that morning with the spyglass he had one two I could see over to Morocco almost and the straits like a river I kept the handkerchief a long time under my pillow I liked the smell of him rather1| too there was no decent perfume to be got in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau d'Espagne that used to fade and leave a stink on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a present or memento but what cd you get then there were queer things there that sandfrog shower from Africa they said it came when that derelict boat ship that came up to the harbour with nobody in her from God knows where I can't remember her name Marie the Marie what no he hadn't a moustache that was Gardner I can see his face plainly now saying the whatyoucallit half laughing cleanshaven silly kind of boy.

|1That was a relief wherever you be let yr wind go free I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all night I couldn't rest easy in my bed evenº in Gibraltar getting up to see why am I nervous so about that |athough I like it in the winter f it's more companya| O Lord it was rotten cold too that one(xxx) winter when I was only about ten was I yes the icy wind |ablowing skeetinga| across from those Mts the Something(xxx) Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with the little bit of a |ashorta| shift I had up to heat myself then make a race into the bed1|
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my sleep's off anyhow for this night I hope he's not going to get in with those medicals |1leading him astray to imagine he's young again1| coming in waking u me up at 2 in the morning it must be |1What do they find to talk about all night squandering money & getting drunker and drunker1| then |1start1| giving us his orders for eggs and tea I think I'll get a bit of fish tomorrow or today Friday yes I will |1with some blancmange |aand like long ago witha| blackcurrant(xxx) jam |anot those |b2lb potb| mixed plum and apple Williams & Woods it goes twice as fara| |aonly for the bones I hate those eels cod I'll get a nice piece of cod I'm always getting enough for 3(xxx) forgetting she's not here(xxx)a|1| I'm sick of that everlasting |1butcher's1| meat |1anywayº1| |1or a picnic suppose we |awent drovea| to the |afurry glena| strawberry beds & bring some cold roast veal sandwiches there are little houses down at the bottom of the banks on purpose |anot a holiday I hate those ruck out for the day Whit Monday no wonder the bee bit hima| or the seaside yes but I'd never |aagain in this lifea| get into a boat with him |aagaina| after Bray saying he knew how to row the old thing crookeding about and the weight all my side |aI cd have hit him in front of all the peopleºa| and all the tide coming in through the bottom telling me pull the right now pull the left and his oar slipping out of the stirrup it's a wonder we weren't drowned |a|bhe can swim all right I can'tb| in his flannel trousers I'd like to have tattered them down off him |b& flagellate him do him all the good in the world I cdn't even change my white shoes how annoying & provokingb| there's no danger whatsoever keep calmºa|1| the sardelle in Catalan Bay they were fine all silver in the fishermen's baskets |1old Pedro |athey said |bwas cameb| from Genoaa| and the tall old chap with the earrings |aI don't like a man you have to climb up to get ata| I suppose they're all dead and rotten long ago1| besides I don't like being alone in(xxx) this big barrack of a place at night I suppose I'll have to put up with it |1|a|bI never brought a bit of salt in when we moved in the confusion musical academy he was going to make like all the things he told father he was going to do and me I saw through him telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon O how nice |che ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim for all his plansc|b| leaving us here all the daya| you'd never know what old beggar at the door for a crust |awith a long storya| might be a tramp and put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that picture of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyd's Weekly News(xxx) 20 years in jaol(xxx) then he comes out and half murders an old woman for money imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is |asuch a face |byou'd run miles |cawayc| fromb| I couldn't rest easy till I |blocked up boltedb| all the doors and windows |bworse again being bar locked up like in a prison or a madhouse(xxx)ºb| they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a |bbigb| brute like that that wd attack a poor old woman to murder her in her bed cut them off hima|1| not that he'd be much use still better than nothing the night I thought I heard burglars in the kitchen and he went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as white as a sheet |1frightened out of his wits1| making as |1much1| noise as he could for their benefit there isn't much to steal |1indeed1| the Lord knows still it's the feeling especially now with Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl down there to learn phot to take photographs |1only he'd do a thing like that1| all the same on account of me & Boylan that's why he did it I'm sure the way he plots and plans everything out I couldn't turn round with her in the place lately |1|agave me the fidgetsa| coming in without knocking first |awhen I put the chair against the doora| just as I was washing myself there with the glove |aget on yr nervesa|1| doing the loglady all day wouldn't even teem the potatoes for you of course she's right not to ruin her hands I noticed he was always talking to her lately at the table explaining things in the paper and she pretending to understand |1sly of course that comes from his side of the house |ahe can't say I pretend things can he?a|1| I suppose he thinks I'm finished out well I'm not at all no nor anything like it she's |1well1| on for flirting too with those Devans imitating me whistling |1with those Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out please she's in great demand to pick what they can out of her1|
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round in Nelson street riding the boy's bicycle at night and smoking a cigarette |1I smelt it on her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button |aI sewed on to the bottom of her dress she cdn't hide much from mea| |aI oughtn't to have stitched it and it on her it brings a parting and the plumpudding split in 2 halfs(xxx) too see it's comes outa|1| your blouse is too open she says to me I had to tell |1her1| not to bare her legs like that on show up on the windowsill before all the people they all look at her like me when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great touch me not too at the |1pantomime Only Way in the theatre royal1| take your foot away out of that I hate people touching me |1afraid of her life I'd crush her skirt |aa lot of touching must go on in theatres in the crush they're always trying to to wiggle up that fellow in the pit standing room only(xxx) |bthe last time I'll ever go there every two minutes tipping me thenº he's a bit daft I think |cby his movementsc| I saw trying to get near two |cstylishdressedc| ladies outside Switzer's at the same little game |cI recognised him on the momentc| he didn't remember meb|a|1| didn't even want me to kiss her at the Broadstone going away I hope she gets someone to dance attendance on her as I did where's this where's that wouldn't let me sit down(xxx) of course she |1doesn't can't1| feel anything yet only the usual nonsense & giggling |1|athata| Conny Connolly |aw writing to hera| in white ink on black paper & sealingwax1| though she clapped at the time because he looked handsome I thought afterwards it must be real love if a man gives up his life that way for her for nothing I suppose there are a few men like that left it's hard to believe in it though unless it happened to you |1|athe majority of them |bwithout with notb| a particle of love in their naturesa| two people in love like that |anowadaysa| full of each other they're usually a bit foolish in the head1| she's always making love to my things too the few old rags I have |1wanting to put her hair up at fifteen she's time enough for that all her life after1| of course she's restless knowing she's pretty I was too but there's no use going to the fair with the thing answering me like a fishwoman when I asked her(xxx) to go for a head of cabbage till I gave her a |1damn fine1| crack on the ear she had me |1so that1| nervous that was the last time she turned on the teartap of course I was like that myself they daren't order me about the place it's his fault of course having us both slaving here instead of getting a woman in long ago am I ever going to have a proper
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servant again
that old Mrs Fleming you have to be walking round after him her putting the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course she's old she can't help it |1a good job I found that |adirtya| old smelly rag behind the dresser |aI knew there was something rottenºa| and opened the window to let out the smell bringing in his friends to entertain them especially Simon Dedalus' son |ahis father such a criticisera| in the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his head I ask my old drawers might have been hanging up too on exhibition |afor all he'd carea| with the ironmould mark the stupid old thing burned on them he might think was something else |aanda| she never rendered down that(xxx) fat I told her either(xxx)1| now she's going to go(xxx) |1bad such1| as she was on account of her paralysed husband getting worse sweet God sweet God well when I'm dead and in my grave I suppose I'll have some peace.

I wonder is there anything the matter with my inside(xxx) getting that thing like that every week when was it last I Whit Monday yes it's only about three weeks when I had that white thing coming from me when I went to that dry old stick Dr Collins |1for women's diseases1| your vagina as he calls it(xxx) I suppose that's how he gets round the rich ones that come(xxx) running into him for every fiddlefaddle I her vagina and her cochinchina I wouldn't marry him if he was the last man in the world smelling around all kinds of filthy women all sides asking me did if what I did had a bad smell what does he want me to do but the one thing |1gold maybe1| such a question if I smathered it over his |1dry wrinkled1| old face for him I suppose he'd know |1|athat's a nice invention too the only thing(xxx) I like after is(xxx) letting myself down as far as I can squeeze and pull the chain to flush it nice cool pins & needlesa| still there's something in it I used to know by Milly's when she was a child whether she was well or not1| then paying him then how much is that one guinea please asking me had I frequent emissions where do those fellows get the words with his |1shortsighted1| eyes on me sideways |1I wouldn't trust him too much give me chloroform or God knows what else1| he was clever to know that of course it was thinking of him and his mad letters |1everything(xxx) underlined twice |athat comes from connected witha| your d glorious young body is divine everything underlined twice that comes from it is divine and beautiful1| had me always at myself four & five times a day sometimes and I said I hadn't are you quite sure O yes I said I am quite sure |1in a way1| that shut him up |1I knew what was coming after1| only |1natural1| weakness it was he excited me I don't know how the first night we met in Dolphin's barn(xxx) when I was living in
{ms, 11}
Rehoboth we stood staring at each other for about 10 minutes he a used to amuse me(xxx) the sly things he said with his halfsmile they said he was going to stand for a member of parliament O wasn't I(xxx) the fool to believe all his talk about homerule(xxx) and the land league sending me that long strool of a thing out of the Huguenots to sing then |1might he as a great favour1| the very 1st time he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom pretending it was the ink on his hands and trying(xxx) to wash it off with the milk & sulphur soap I used and the gelatine still round it O I laughed myself sick that day I better get up off this affair he kneels down to do it I never saw a man with such funny habits look at the way he's sleeping with his hand on his nose he's like that big god he took me to show in the museum all yellow in a pinafore lying on his bideº on his hand with his ten toes stuck out as happy as if the devil had him(xxx) that he said had a bigger religion than Our Lord's |1in Asia1| I suppose he's trying to imitate him damn this thing anyway where's this those napkins are ah yes I know I hope the old press doesn't creak ah I knew it would he's sleeping hard still she must have given him great value for his money of course he has to pay her first O this nuisance of a thing I hope they'll have something better for us in the next world tying ourselves up that's all right now O God help us now the lumpy old jingly bed George's church wait three quarters the hour one two o'clock that's a nice hour for him to be coming home at to
{ms, 12}
anybody climbing down into the area if anyone saw him I'll knock him off that little habit tomorrow then tucked up in bed like a baby dreaming all kinds of villainy I suppose then tea and toast for him and newlaid eggs I suppose I'm nothing any more when I wouldn't let him touch me in Holles street one night he slept on the floor half the night naked and wouldn't eat any breakfast or speak he forgets that but I don't I'll make him do it again if he doesn't mind himself I wonder what was it her Josie he's such a born liar too no he wouldn't have the courage with a married woman that's why he wants me and Boylan I suppose that's where his money goes this is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam's funeral yes they were all at the |1great1| funeral in the paper L Boom and Tom Kernan, that drunken little barrelly man, and Martin Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and M'Coy, white head of cabbage, I see it all now they call that friendship killing & burying one another and they all with wives and families at home especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does of course his wife is always ill or going to be ill or getting over it and he's a goodlooking man still though he's getting a bit grey they're a nice lot all of them well they're not going to get my husband into their clutches if I can help it making fun of him behind his back when he goes on with his idiotics because he doesn't squander |1all his money every penny piece he has1| down their gullets
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goodfornothings poor old Paddy Dignam I'm sorry in a way he was a comical little teetotum wasn't he at the(xxx) yes he was at the Glencree dinner and Ben Dollard with his base barreltone the night he borrowed the trousers |1in Holles street1| to sing out of squeezed and squashed into them and grinning all his |1big fat1| Dollard face he did look like a balmy ballocks sure enough that must have been a spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved seats for that and Simon Dedalus too always turning up screwed singing the second verse first so sweetly sang the maiden on the hawthorn bough he was always on for flirtyf flirtifying when I sang Maritana(xxx)º with him at Freddy Mayers'(xxx) private opera he had a delicious voice all over you like a warm showerbath |1we sang splendidly together and he was married at the time to May Goulding1| then he'd say something to knock all(xxx) the good out of it he's a widower now I wonder what kind is his son I said he says he's an author and going to be a professor of Italian and I'm to take lessons what is he driving at now I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge with his father & mother I was in mourning that's eleven years ago now yes he'd be eleven though it was useless to go in mourning for neither one thing nor the other I suppose he's a man now by this time
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|1No that's no way has he no refinement nor no delicacy |ain hima|1| Slapping us behind like that |1on my bottom1| I don't call that very gentlemanly |1that's what you get for |aletting them get too familiar not keeping them in their places more |bof course he's right enough in a way to pass the time as a jokeb|a|1| O well I suppose it's because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat they excite me a bit sometimes it's well for meº all the pleasure they get off a woman's body we're so round and white for them I wish I was one myself for a change |1with that thing they have so hard and still it's so soft to touch1| they can pick & choose what they please young girl or a married woman or a young gi fast widow or a young girl for their different tastes but we're to be always |1chained chaining us1| up they won't chain me up now no fear once I start |1|aI tell youa| for their stupid husband's jealousy why can't we all be friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out |aand he going to the other extreme about the wifea| of course the man never even casts a thought on the husband |aor wifea| why should he(xxx) either the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all those desires for sure1| they wouldn't be in the world at all only for us I can't help it if I'm young still can I it's a wonder I'm not an old shrivelled hag |1|abefore my timea| living1| with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when he's asleep and doesn't know what he's doing as if a woman didn't want to be embraced 20 times a day almost |1to make her look young |a|bno matter by whom(xxx) so long as to be in love or loved by somebody |cif the fellow you want isn't therec|b| that sometimes by God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there of a evening where nobody'd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea that'dº hot on for it and not care whose I was and do it up in a gate somewhere just(xxx) what they do themselves the fine gentlemen didn't I see that K.C. coming out of Hardwicke lane the night we were had the fish supper with Boylan I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute there was a woman after coming out of it too only I suppose those |athings sailorsa| you'd pick up like that are rotten again with diseasea|1| O move over your big carcase(xxx) out of that for the love of Mike so well he may sleep and I'm to go moiling down in the kitchen(xxx) to get him breakfast will I indeed I'd like to see myself I don't care what anyone elseº it'd be much better for the world to be governed by women you wouldn't see women going and killing one another and slaughtering one another(xxx) when do you see the women rolling |1round around1| drunk like they do |1yes1| because a woman whatever she does she knows when(xxx) to stop sure they wouldn't be in the world at all only for us they don't know what it
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is to be a woman and a mother where would they all be if they hadn't all |1a1| mother to look after them that's why I suppose he's running wild now out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the usual |1rowing rowy house1| or whatever you see those that have a fine son like that they're not satisfied |1and I with(xxx) none was he not able to make a son that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtn't to have buried him in that little woolly |acrying as I was(xxx)a| but given(xxx) it to some poor child O I'm not going to think about that any more1| I wonder why he wouldn't stay the night instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers & pickpockets his poor mother wdn't like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps he could easy have slept in there on the sofa I suppose he was |1shy as shy as a boy1| being young of me in the next room he'd have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder it's like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devil's queer names there Father Vilaplana |1of Santa Maria1| that gave me the rosary Rosales y O'Reilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor's(xxx) street O |1my(xxx)1| what a name and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodger's ramp and Devil's gap steps well small blame to me if I'm a |1bit1| harumscarum |1I know I am a bit1| I declare to God I don't feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish Como esta usted |1my muy1| bien gracias y usted |1I haven't forgotten it all you see I thought I had1| I can |1tell1| him the Spanish and he m tell me the Italian then he'd(xxx)º see I'm not so ignorant what a pity he didn't stay I'm sure the poor
{ms, 16}
fellow wanted a good sleep I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast |1|aSo as I don't do it with the knife for bad lucka| or if the woman was going around with the watercress & ground ivy(xxx) something nice and tasty1| do the criada(xxx) the room looks all right since I changed it that way you see something was telling me all the time I'd have to introduce myself |1not knowing me from Adam1| very funny wouldn't it I'm his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake |1without a God's notion where he is1| dos huevos estrellados Lord the mad things come into my head sometimes it'd be great fun suppose he stayed with us |1why not there's the room upstairs empty and Milly's bed in the backroom(xxx)1| I'd love to have a long talk with an intelligent person I'd have to get a nice pair of red slippers or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I badly want I'll just give him one more chance first(xxx) I'll get up early in the morning I'm sick of the bed in any case then I'll throw him up his eggs and tea I know what I'll do I'll go about rather gay singing a bit now and again then I'll start dressing myself |1to go out1| I'll put on my best shift & drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make him stand I'll let him know if that's what he wanted that his wife is fucked & damn well fucked |1too1| not by him four or five times running |1it's all his own fault if I'm an adulteress |aserve him righta|1| much about it |1if that's all the harm ever we did in this world God knows it's not much I suppose that's what we're supposed to be there for or He wdn't have made us like that1| then if he wants to kiss my bottom I'll |1give it stick it out1| to him as large as life then I'll tell him I want £1 or perhaps 30/-(xxx) I'll say(xxx) I
{ms, 17}
want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well
he won't be too bad I'll let him do it off on me behind provided he doesn't smear all my good drawers on me(xxx) O I suppose that can't be helped I'll do the indifferent one or two questions I'll know by the way the answers when he's like that he can't keep a thing in then I'll suggest about yes O wait now I'll be quite gay & friendly O but I was forgetting this bloody |1pest of a1| thing poo pfooh no I'll have to wear the old things so much the better it'll be more pointed |1he won't know whether I did or I didn't1| then I'll go out I'll go to Lambe's there beside Findlater's and I'll get them to send up(xxx) some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Friday's a bad day first I want to do the place up someway then we can have music and cigarettes those fairy cakes in Lipton's at 7 ½d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and pink sugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of the table I'd get that cheaper in wait where's this(xxx) I saw them not long ago I love flowers I'd like to have the whole place swimming in roses
{ms, 18}
there's nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all kinds of shapes and smells and colours growing even in the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as g for them saying there's no God I wdn't give a snap of my fingers for all their learning |1why don't they go and create something |aI often asked him go and wash the cobbles off themselves firsta| then they send for the priest and they dying & why why because they're afraid ah yes1| who was the first person |1in the universe1| that made |1it1| all that they don't know neither do I so there you are what did she on Howth where we were lying among the rhododendrons the day I got him to propose |1and it was leapyear too(xxx) like now 16(xxx) yrs ago my God1| after that long kiss I |1near1| lost my breath |1yes he1| said I was a flower of the mountain |1yes1| so we are flowers all |1our a woman's1| body is(xxx) |1yes1| that was one true thing he said and the sun shines for you that's why I liked him |1because I saw |ahe understood smthg anda| I cd manage him1| and gave him all the pleasure I could till he asked me to say yes and I didn't answer only looked I was thinking of so many things Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old Captain(xxx) Groves |1and as well him as another1| and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a flower of the mountain and I asked him with my eyes to ask me(xxx) again and then he asked me would I to say yes my mountain flower and then I put my arms around him and
{ms, 19}
drew him down to me |1so he could smell my perfume1| and I said I would will yes.